Marco: I wish MY dad would come and watch ME play.
Kingston: I wish my dad would let me in the house.
Max: Don't tell me you thought there would be less bitchin' on a gay team.
Max: You might be more comfortable on here, love.
Benji: Thanks, but I've already got a boyfriend.
Max: I'll struggle to restrain myself.
[Archer tears off Kingston's shirt]
Kingston: Hey, man! What happened to dinner and a movie?
Floyd: You need to call off your pet chihuahua before I slap the bitch straight. Ya get me?
Joey: Least he can remember my bloody name, ya sad, bloody man-slack!
Floyd: Have I got this right? Our team has just been penalized for gay-bashing?
Archer: How cool is that?
Donna: Come on, talk to your Auntie Donna.
Marco: Dear Auntie Donna, my boyfriend just shagged some tart he doesn't even care about, and now that tart, slash so-called friend, thinks I should have a sense of humor about it. Should I take out a contract or break her legs myself.
Maddox: So what's it like?
Maddox: With a girl.
Kingston: S'all right. It's like driving an automatic when you're use to a gear stick.
Kingston: Women... men... they're ALL untrustworthy bitches. Stick to your right hand, mate.
Max: You kids come from a long line of kings, queens and fierce divas. Now, fix up and take back the bloody game!
Archer: Joey is not my "piece," thanks. He's my...
Floyd: You're shaggin', not opening up a restaurant together.
Archer: Joey is not a queen. I'm not into queens. "Gay" means you're into men. Look, it don't mean we all have to be queens, does it?
Floyd: It means we can be whatever the fuck we wanna be as far as I'm concerned.
Archer: Well, if you wanna be a queen, you can be a queen on your own time.
Floyd: This is my time.
Archer: Mate, this is soccer. This is lethal, savage caveman shit, and queens will not be tolerated. Queens will get a kickin'.
Floyd: Well, speak for yourself, MATE. This queen DOES the kickin'. It's a new fuckin' day, okay?
Max: It's not good breedin' to give your mother the hairy eyeball, kitten.
Archer: I say we at least try and establish ourselves as a force to be reckoned with in this league BEFORE we start skippin' about in ballet slippers and blowin' kisses.
Adam: Let's just have a clean game, yeah? No name-callin', no head-buttin', no pullin' knives on people and threatenin' to shank them as they're about to take free kicks.
Fitz: What chu lookin' at me for?
Adam: I'm not lookin' at you!
Max: Now listen, Ephraim.
Max: Now, you seem like a nice boy. I'm sure you don't want to get fired on your first day for homophobia.
Max: I didn't think so. You see, I don't know if you've noticed, but we're a gay team - a VERY gay team - and, so, we're a teensy-weensy bit overcompensating, but you see what we're dealing with, don't you, Ephraim?
Max: ...the kind of thugs that used to terrorize people like us - and you - in school. I think you know what I mean. And, so, all we're asking, Ephraim...
Max: -ton!... All we're asking for, on... bended knee, is for a fair... crack. Whadda ya say, ref?