Christmas time was here at last, another time of the year Louie could hardly wait for. Seeing so many wonderful toys in the shop window was a real treat, however the only caviat is that his gift had to be under $5.00. If you recall, Louie is one of 11 kids. Sure, $5.00 was a lot more money back then than it is today, but it still didn't buy the kinds of things Louie wanted. Meanwhile, Tommy's kindergarten class gets a very special visitor: Andy Claus! Yep, Andy's (reluctantly) playing Santa this year, and he regales this class with his own rendition of Deck the Halls. Ha, ha, that's our Andy! Unfortunately, he gets tackled by the kiddies who were expecting presents. Well, I know a group of youngsters who are getting lumps of coal this year. When Andy got home, he wanted to hang up the red suit, but to his dismay, he learns Ora volunteered him behind his back to play Jolly St. Nick at the Cedar Knoll Orphanage. Meanwhile, Louie has a new friend at school: a tall boy named Tico... or Teako... or I don't know how it's spelled, I'll just call him Teako. He's very good at sports, helping Louie to win a 2 to 1 game of dodgeball. However, there seems to be something unusual about Teako, because every time he's asked about his parents and his family, he finds ways of ducking the question. In fact, as he and Louie's friends go sledding near the orphanage, he suggests they sled down the other side of the hill: down Concussion Corridor. The ride down went smoothly... until they hit a rock. Fortunately, none of them sustained a concussion. After that, they all got Louie's house for some hot chocolate. Teako admires the way Louie and his family lives, even if the boy does take it all for granted. Also, he can't stop grousing about the fin limit on his gift, but I don't blame Louie. He's getting the shaft on that one. He knew that if he didn't choose a gift, Santa would just bring him antifreeze for the Rambler. No joke. He still hasn't forgotten the flywheel he got for his birthday. That "drove" him nuts. Ha ha.
Christmas Eve: time for Andy Claus to come to town, and as he's suited up in his jolly reds, he appoints himself two little helpers: Louie and Tommy, with elf costumes and everything. Aw, don't you just wanna pinch those widdle cheeks? They load all the donated toys into Santa's rusty green sleigh and hit the road, with Andy singing his own rendition of Silent Night. Man, Andy needs to put out a Christmas album. His songs are hilarious! I'm not kidding. Louie Anderson should've released a Christmas album with Andy singing his own version of carols. It would've sold like hotcakes. Anyway, when they arrive at the orphanage, Louie and Tommy insist Andy go down the chimney, as per his character. Up on the housetop, the Rambler pause, out jumps good ol' Andy Claus. Down through the chimney with lots of noise, to give all the brats their Christmas toys. Ho ho ho, he didn't wanna go. Ho ho ho, he didn't wanna go. I'm just kidding, they're not ALL brats. So as Andy hands out the toys, Louie reads off how much they cost, inversely familiar to the last Christmas episode where Andy reads off the price of Louie and Tommy's gifts. Man, Louie was as green as a Christmas tree when he saw how the orphans' presents cost WAY more than five bucks. For example, a kid got a pair of skates that cost $12.99, plus tax. A girl got a doll for $18.50. Geez, for that, the doll better DANCE, or maybe it's the kind that pees, I dunno. And good ol' Teako got the best gift of all: a $29.99 train set! It's then Teako reveals that his real name is Russell, and that he's an orphan. Since he's the oldest boy, everyone calls him an antique, or Teako for short. It was then that Louie learned to appreciate what he had, and so for his Christmas present, he wanted Teako to spend Christmas with them. Aww, that's sweet. Well, Christmas at the Andersons was a very happy time, except of course for Andy, who had to put up with his mother and brother, Eric. After dinner, they all take a family picture with Eric's new camera. At first, Teako holds the camera, but Louie wants him in with the group, because after all, he considers him family. The brother he never had (a.k.a. the brother he actually wanted). So they set the timer and everyone poses... unfortunately, the timer was delayed and so it snaps when everyone starts fidgeting. Preserved for posterity: an Anderson family Christmas. And, of course, we end on Andy singing HIS version of the Twelve Days of Christmas.
Great Christmas episode. It has a great message about family, and it rounds out the Teako character nicely. A few episodes from now is one called "Do It or Donut", which I think they aired out of order, since in that one Louie hasn't discovered that Teako is an orphan. What can I say about Family Portrait? Hilarious. Not as good as "Christmas Surprise for Mrs. Stillman", but it's still a lot of fun. Especially, as stated above, Andy's Christmas carols. An album of Louie and Andy singing songs would've been a great piece of merchandise. It may not be too late. Mr. Anderson, if you're reading this, please consider it. I think the lessons presented in this episode are ones that should definitely be taken to heart: learning to appreciate what you have, as there are many others not so lucky, and that toys are ridiculously overpriced. If that train set cost $30 in 196?, it must be $500 today. For that kind of dough, that train should dance. So this Christmas, why not spend it with Louie, Andy and the gang and check out Family Portrait.
Christmas Eve: time for Andy Claus to come to town, and as he's suited up in his jolly reds, he appoints himself two little helpers: Louie and Tommy, with elf costumes and everything. Aw, don't you just wanna pinch those widdle cheeks? They load all the donated toys into Santa's rusty green sleigh and hit the road, with Andy singing his own rendition of Silent Night. Man, Andy needs to put out a Christmas album. His songs are hilarious! I'm not kidding. Louie Anderson should've released a Christmas album with Andy singing his own version of carols. It would've sold like hotcakes. Anyway, when they arrive at the orphanage, Louie and Tommy insist Andy go down the chimney, as per his character. Up on the housetop, the Rambler pause, out jumps good ol' Andy Claus. Down through the chimney with lots of noise, to give all the brats their Christmas toys. Ho ho ho, he didn't wanna go. Ho ho ho, he didn't wanna go. I'm just kidding, they're not ALL brats. So as Andy hands out the toys, Louie reads off how much they cost, inversely familiar to the last Christmas episode where Andy reads off the price of Louie and Tommy's gifts. Man, Louie was as green as a Christmas tree when he saw how the orphans' presents cost WAY more than five bucks. For example, a kid got a pair of skates that cost $12.99, plus tax. A girl got a doll for $18.50. Geez, for that, the doll better DANCE, or maybe it's the kind that pees, I dunno. And good ol' Teako got the best gift of all: a $29.99 train set! It's then Teako reveals that his real name is Russell, and that he's an orphan. Since he's the oldest boy, everyone calls him an antique, or Teako for short. It was then that Louie learned to appreciate what he had, and so for his Christmas present, he wanted Teako to spend Christmas with them. Aww, that's sweet. Well, Christmas at the Andersons was a very happy time, except of course for Andy, who had to put up with his mother and brother, Eric. After dinner, they all take a family picture with Eric's new camera. At first, Teako holds the camera, but Louie wants him in with the group, because after all, he considers him family. The brother he never had (a.k.a. the brother he actually wanted). So they set the timer and everyone poses... unfortunately, the timer was delayed and so it snaps when everyone starts fidgeting. Preserved for posterity: an Anderson family Christmas. And, of course, we end on Andy singing HIS version of the Twelve Days of Christmas.
Great Christmas episode. It has a great message about family, and it rounds out the Teako character nicely. A few episodes from now is one called "Do It or Donut", which I think they aired out of order, since in that one Louie hasn't discovered that Teako is an orphan. What can I say about Family Portrait? Hilarious. Not as good as "Christmas Surprise for Mrs. Stillman", but it's still a lot of fun. Especially, as stated above, Andy's Christmas carols. An album of Louie and Andy singing songs would've been a great piece of merchandise. It may not be too late. Mr. Anderson, if you're reading this, please consider it. I think the lessons presented in this episode are ones that should definitely be taken to heart: learning to appreciate what you have, as there are many others not so lucky, and that toys are ridiculously overpriced. If that train set cost $30 in 196?, it must be $500 today. For that kind of dough, that train should dance. So this Christmas, why not spend it with Louie, Andy and the gang and check out Family Portrait.
