Prometheus (2012) Poster

(I) (2012)

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3/10
Ridley Scott forgot everything about great movies except for the craft
michael-albertsen31 May 2012
Warning: Spoilers
I'm really sorry, but this a major disappointment.

No, I didn't expect miracles or something close to the original Alien. I've been following Scott for 30 years - and it's clear that he has been on the decline since Gladiator and Black Hawk Down.

I liked a few of his later movies like A Good Year - but most have been rather flat and uninspired.

One thing I've noticed, is that he's gotten increasingly complacent with his own "point of view" in terms of historical facts and how things work in reality. It's like he has a complete disregard for plausible motivations or factual information about how things work.

Case in point - there's a scene in the movie where a certain character has to have an operation performed on her body - and it involves slicing directly through the skin and muscle-tissue of her abdomen. After the procedure, she's simply "stitched together" by metal clips in like 3 seconds - and with a bit of local anesthetic, she continues to move and jump about with some moaning. Ehm, you CAN'T have any kind of normal movement with your muscle tissue completely severed - and there was absolutely no healing involved. Just one of a series of ridiculous events.

The plot is entirely juvenile and cliché stuff with "profound" questions like who created us. For some reason, the beings who created us also want to kill us - and it seems to involve incredibly elaborate genetic engineering that also happened to kill most of them in their remote "lab facility". They're CLEARLY much more powerful than we are - and they could just bomb the hell out of us, or do it in a thousand simpler ways. But no, they seem to want to utilize excessively elaborate and dangerous genetic modification or infestation - that they can't even control.

They also like to record recent events with some kind of holographic recorder device that is unable to render clear images, only some cool ghostly images that I bet Scott loved to play with. But they're quite flexible in how they let you play recordings of their security procedure - so you can access their systems without effort.

Characters are void of personality and growth, they're REALLY stupid - and they like to freak out for no reason, and they like to stay calm and playful when there IS a reason - like when encountering a nasty looking cobra-worm - an alien - for the first time in history.

Among these faceless people - we have some willing to gleefully commit suicide by ramming an alien ship, because they like their captain, and they're required to do so because he "can't fly worth a damn" - despite him being the primary pilot hired by a billionaire to do nothing but fly the ship.

We have a religious scientist who concludes that she's found our creators, based on: "It's what I choose to believe".

Then we have the very same religious scientist look at an alien "head" they brought back - and she notices some strange growth on it. She then spends 2 seconds thinking and concludes that this is obviously some kind of "foreign cells" (impressive deduction, I must say) - and she decides to stimulate the cells with electricity - just to see what happens. No research - no caution - no nothing.

We have people who decide to open the door to their ship, seemingly with no thought process, despite having just faced complete chaos by extremely hostile alien forces - because one of their crew mates seems to be lying in front of the door. This while other crew mates have just been taken over by some kind of alien infestation.

Then we have the boyfriend of said religious scientist (a douche) who decides that the air in an alien environment is safe to breathe because his device tells him it is - and he immediately removes his helmet. A classic Hollywood scientist moment, and clearly there's no need to worry about biological contaminants in a place like that.

This movie is FULL of this kind of utterly implausible behavior and random decisions.

It has a couple of "for effect" gore scenes - but Scott manages to include ZERO tension along with them. As a result, they're mildly disgusting - but they have no lasting effect whatsoever.

The "aliens" that are a part of this movie all look like plastic - because of overly smooth and pale skin. They look like Lovecraft creatures without a much-needed paint-job.

We have a horribly predictable, pointless and wasted twist involving Guy Pearce and a certain other cast member.

We have an android, well-acted by Fassbender, who seems to be fully random in his decisions and motivations. Few actions made sense in any context - not to me anyway.

The music was overwrought and didn't fit with the mood of the film, and it seemed like one theme being repeated endlessly. A surprise, given Scott's usual flair for good music.

I think Lindelof is a complete and total hack - who only got the job because he was the "yes-man" who could match Scott's ego. This is pretty obvious in interviews - where Lindelof always manages to publicly kiss Scott's behind.

1 Star for Fassbender's performance.

1 Star for the amazingly detailed visuals.

1 Star for how the above combine to form the excellent beginning.

Now, it's just a matter of leaning back - musing over a thousand different people coming up with a thousand different explanations - each being the "correct" interpretation of this deep and thought-provoking masterpiece.

Going by the IMDb rating, I can do nothing but stay mesmerized by how efficient it is to rely on the "Emperor's New Clothes" effect and let hype do the rest. Stay real Scott, Lindelof and Hollywood.
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1/10
Where no idiot has gone before
BJBatimdb5 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
Prometheus is the story of a trillion-dollar mission to discover the origins of human life on a distant planet. Basically, this is supposed to be the greatest exploration undertaken in the history of mankind.

So who do they send? A gaggle of fractious goons whose collective scientific nous is rivalled only by that of the Three Stooges. Within minutes of touching down (conveniently beside the only 'man-made' structures on the planet, a'la 1960s Star Trek) the 'scientists' are yanking off their helmets, on the basis of 'it seems fine to me', dipping their fingers into strange organic ooze, and lugging a severed alien head back to an unquarantined spaceship in a sandwich bag.

Once there, they speedily discover the meaning of life. Then, while one of them gets a bit drunk, his two female companions decide it would be useful to stimulate the head electrically to reanimate it. They don't say why. They give it a bit too much juice, then too little,then dither over too much or too little like a couple of schoolgirls fiddling with a dicky bunsen burner, while the most important scientific discovery in human history waggles its ears and rolls its eyes - before eventually blowing up like a frog in a microwave.

Are the scientists abashed? Is the man angry? Do they all calm down and remember they have degrees in clever things, not diplomas in macramé? Do they heck.

The WHOLE MOVIE is a litany of ludicrous so-called science, schoolboy errors, and pseudo-profundity about the origin of species. Ironic really, when none of the crew would have a chance in hell in any sort of contest governed by Darwinian rules.

Crass stupidity is rampant in every department. Hi-tech helmets record every heartbeat - apparently until anything worth recording happens; stranded crewmates are abandoned to their fate in favour of a quick shag, and the spaceship door is opened to anyone who comes a-knocking. Although, after hitting the 'welcome' button, Idris Elba does do a double take and go 'Hold on a second!' but that might have just been an involuntary ad lib at his own character's baffling idiocy.

There is spectacular cinematography and effects, but not one iota of originality has been squandered on plot, subtext, tension or characters - which are as shallow as the Prometheus's muddy little gene pool.

Ridley Scott is a hero of mine, but Prometheus is not the intelligent, emotionally satisfying prequel that Alien deserves. It's a derisory, empty experience - and anyone who loved Alien is surely too old and too smart to be fobbed off with something this bad just because it's shiny.
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Amateur hour
Jey Stone2 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
Lindelhoffed /'LinDelHôfd/

Verb:

1 a : Similar to a "Rick Roll", when one is conned into viewing a series of moving pictures with no conclusive finale, despite the viewer investing a lot of emotion and time in the story.

b (1) : a bottom feeder (2) : to Lindelhoff, much like a cock tease, when a sexual partner brings the other to the point of climax but then bails just before reaching orgasm.

PROMETHEUS Plot holes AND IRRITATIONS ***SPOILERS***

1. The dreams sequence. David can watch Shaw's dreams. Amazingly this technology also cuts from scene to scene like a movie camera...Please. No one dreams like that.

2. How did they randomly find the temple so quick? This is an entire planet surface!

3. Why was the landing so soft and easy?

4. Why does Fifield start screaming at Shaw like that? Calm down mate..jeez..And later on with an Alien cobra he is cool as ice.

5. Why does that moron Buddy Holly scientist try and touch the cobra alien? not once....not twice...but 3 TIMES!!!

6. Why on earth would a scientist remove their helmets in a possibly infected temple? I am just a civilian and even I understand the concept of VIRUS CONTAMINATION ON AN ALIEN FRIGGIN PLANET. They then have the cheek to talk about Shaw's strict quarantine fail-safe procedures...please

7. What does this Black Goo do exactly? Accelerate worm growth? Infect crew members? Cause pregnancies? Create life? Pick one and stick to it please

8. Why does Ford straight away start giving the head electricity for kicks? Do they not have procedures? What is this fun with Frankenstein?

9. Why does the head explode?

10. Why are the medical staff so damn careless with a possibly disease ridden and bacteria infested decapitated head? I swear they didn't even wear plastic gloves.

11. How did Shaw know the Jockey was heading to Earth to destroy it? Pretty big assumption from a couple of punches thrown.

12. How does David know the Space Jockey is heading to kill Shaw on the Medical Bay?

13. How does Shaw know her baby will attack the Jockey?

14. i was really amazed that Shaw has this 'baby' but fails to mention the horrific and super extraordinary situation she had just been through. ''oh hey guys, ha ha, nearly forgot. FYI, you won't believe what just happened to me on the way here''....''i just gave birth to an alien..'' ''yeah, i know CRAZY right, considering i had sex only 10 BLOODY HRS AGO!!''

15. -The whole Vickers' Star Wars 'Father' line...

16. -The 'bet' between the co-pilots was cringe-worthy

17. HUGE ONE…How the hell does Shaw walk after abdominal surgery? If abdominal muscle is cut you can NOT walk, the muscle needs to be sewn back…But no, a few staples and she is good to go…

18. Why does the tentacle creature have tentacles from the evil Planet X?

19. Why do the space jockeys allow any old tramp to walk in an use their security systems?

20. Why does the space jockey want to kill, kill and kill…You'd think an advanced race would be a little civilised?

21. What was the point of Guy Pearce as Weyland? Why was he even there? So he just assumed this temple would contain a fountain of life…..right….I guess he 'chose to believe' too…f**k me…

Honestly there are so many more I can't even write them all…But this movie has more plot-holes than the Iraqi Navy
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1/10
Ridiculous nonsense.
Animal Software3 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
WARNING: LOTS OF SPOILERS.

Synopsis: Two archaeologists find some old drawings of an alien and a star map. They "choose to believe" that the aliens created human life. So they travel to the planet identified in the drawings. When they arrive at the planet, the members of the expedition all work against each other even though they all want the same thing. Each member then repeated does really stupid things until most of them are dead. The film ends before we see the final stupid decision actually kill the last surviving members.

Nothing the characters did made any sense:

> The robot without feelings falls in love with a woman.

> The robot then risks her life because he wants to preserve the parasite inside her. Why? No reason.

> The expedition is searching for life, but the biologist wants to return to the ship when they find a 2000 year old corpse.

> The geologist also wants to return to the ship rather than look at rocks.

> The geologist then gets lost despite being in charge of the mapping device.

> The top boss pays for the expedition, but pretends he's dead and hides on the ship. Why? No reason.

> The leader of the expedition refuses to cooperate with either the robot or the archaeologists - even though they all want the same thing.

> The alien tries to kill everyone, so the surviving characters decide to go to the alien's home planet to talk to them.

Another issue that kept annoying me was the inaccurate terminology used. There was no reason for it - it was just wrong. For example, at one point the archaeologists talk about abiogenesis and the biologist weirdly starts talking about evolution. Later on, a head exploded (like in Scanners) and the scientist says "Why did that head combust?". I don't expect screenwriters to have degrees, but they should at least look up words in the dictionary.

The CGI is good and the acting would be fine if the actors had been given something worthwhile to do. But every other aspect of the film was a disappointing waste of time.

1/10
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1/10
I laughed loud throughout watching the movie.. Stupid Movie!!
koboi921 December 2013
Warning: Spoilers
>May Contain Spoiler< This movie is the baddest movies i ever watched in recent years. It was so bad that while watching it, i laughed all the way. It's quite unbelievable how stupid the character, that i almost punch my TV. It's so bad that it became a nightmare to me until now that's why i write my first review on movie.

I can accept weaknesses in some area such as plot or not too many unanswered question but to make a story or plot based on stupid character which is supposedly clever scientist or geologist just an awful movie. This really insulted the audience intelligence.

The scientist is so stupid that they don't act like one such as no weapon allowed, opening the helmet in unknown environment, playing with snake like creature in new planet just found, don't have proper preparation in assessing new situation such as the risk or danger they may encounter. It's not just a stupid act, but make the scientist look very unbelievably stupid. And that make the whole movie look unbelievably stupid!!
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1/10
What a waste!
manohoo23 March 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Mission to Mars story told by a 7 year old. An opportunity to explore humankind origins gets utterly wasted. The plot is ridiculously incoherent. The characters are never developed, the dialog is childish, the ending is... pathetic.

--- SPOILER ---

Such a promising start with mesmerizing visuals and then... meet the crew, a bunch of untrained mercenaries hired to manage a 1-trillion project. Logical flaws abound, but I will not repeat what other reviewers have already said. My 18 yr old loved it, I can see why, my wife couldn't bare to watch after the crew is introduced. I stayed until the end in the hope that some philosophical angles could be intelligently explored... LOL!
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6/10
Good special effects, poor, poor writing
Michal Dudek3 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
I must admit that the special effects and overall scale of the film is epic. But for crying out loud the plot is thin as paper and the writing is very very bad. None of the characters are acting in a logical way. There is no explainable motivations behind their actions and the story behind the alien race contradicts itself. After watching it I have a feeling it's just a collection of cool ideas put together without any logic to link them. The film pretends to raise some philosophical questions but it's done in a very childish way and in the end you can "choose to believe" whatever you want despite the evidence to the contrary.

**************************SPOILER*****************************

They come to this alien planet (not Alien alien, just extraterrestrial) and decide to land immediately without any surveillance from the orbit. Luckily out of the whole planet the place they happened to fly over had alien structures so they land there. Only then the scientists learn from the mission director what they are allowed to do. They go to this alien structure with their hi-tech equipment and an android. The android presses all the buttons he can find like 5 year old and nobody's surprised that he doesn't explain anything. Apparently he mastered a couple of ancient earth languages but that's no explanation to why he understands alien writings. The guy operating the hi-tech probes that map the structure suddenly flips out when he sees an alien corpse while everyone else is cool, decides to go back to the ship and gets lost in the tunnels. In the structure they decide that the air is breathable on the basis of it's chemical composition and take off their helmets. Who in their right mind exposes oneself to an alien environment. You don't know what can be in this air especially that you're looking for alien life. Then out of nowhere a sand storm appears as if triggered by their actions. So they retreat and they take the alien head with them to the ship while the geo-expert most competent on finding his way back gets lost in the structure. In the ship they do decontamination of the alien head but they fail to decontaminate their own heads after the exposure to the alien environment. And now the best happens: The paleontologist/archaeologist suddenly becomes an expert on alien physiology and just by looking at the head decides that there are some new cell outgrowths on the forehead. They decide to reanimate a 2000(?) year old head by using electroshocks after which the head explodes. (What was the point of that scene? To show their incompetence?) Then they examine the alien DNA under the microscope(!) and the analysis tells them it matches human DNA. (Wow really? After millions of years of evolution of human species it's still the same? Oh wait, you can "choose to believe" so. Yet the opening scene of the alien committing suicide and dispersing in the water with cool particle effects suggests that he initiated all the life on the planet. But then again the ancient cultures worshipped the solar system the alien structures were on. So maybe we are their direct descendants. But it's not where the alien race comes from. It's just a storage place for biological weapon. Why would the aliens leave an "invitation" to their military base?) Meanwhile the android opens one of the vases they found in the structure like he knew exactly what he's doing. All in his room without any secure containment. He brakes open a vial of unidentified liquid which for all he knows could be kryptonite or cool-aid and decides to roofie one of the scientist with it. Meanwhile the guys that were afraid of the alien corpse and got lost in the structure decide to make friends with a snakelike life form that emerged from a puddle and get raped by it. The roofied scientist gets sick but before that he manages to have sex with his colleague (Elizabeth) and impregnate her with an alien life form. Then the android scans the Elizabeth on the next day like he knew what he was looking for and tries to restrain her so she will give birth to an alien. (Why would he want to do that???) She escapes and uses automated surgical chamber to remove the alien from her belly. The procedure cuts through her whole abdomen and then staples it back together. From now on she runs around in all action scenes with her severed abdominal muscles. (The least they could do is show some hi-tech quick healing procedure or something.) She escapes and finds Wayland to be on the ship and he's looking for cure to old age. No one is surprised she has a gushing wound across her abdomen and they embark on another trip to the alien structure which turned out to be a spaceship. They revive one of the alien crew members which goes on a killing rampage after a chat with the android (no explanation why) and decides to fly the spaceship to eradicate life on earth. Fortunately after a quick chat with the female protagonist the pilots enthusiastically decide to go kamikaze on the alien spaceship and die with smiles on their faces. Then there is the nerve wrecking scene of the doughnut spaceship rolling and chasing Elizabeth and Meredith in a straight line when all they had to do to avoid it was to step aside. The alien pilot somehow survives the crash and comes back with a revenge on his mind. It is defeated by the foetus Elizabeth gave birth to which grew to a gigantic size on absolutely nothing in a matter of hours closed in the operation chamber. In the end Elizabeth joins forces with the android who poisoned her lover and tried to kill her as well and they fly off to find the home planet of the alien race.
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1/10
You too, Ridley?
yogsottoth3 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
SUCKED BIG TIME! The story was all over the place, most of the characters were completely unnecessary and underdeveloped, and there were no creatures to talk about really. I wasn't even tensed up for a second, let alone being scared.

Can you imagine a biologist guy, signed up for a mission to explore a different race, shitting his pants and literally leaving the scene at the first sight of an alien body that's been dead for 2000 years? Well, Ridley Scott could. However, the same guy goes ape schit over a real, moving alien cobra-thing and wants to cuddle her! Perfectly consistent character writing! And what the hell was that android guy trying to do with his plots and schemes? What was your plan? Who actually did you serve? And Shaw who did nothing to fill in Ripley's shoes... She attacks the crew, performs a surgery -I'm not even gonna touch that one- that probably overthrows a plan in motion, comes out covered in blood and no one even says "Hey! What the heck?" and they go on another expedition together? And what was that space jockey's problem!? Relax, dude!! I mean you have to be a really mean bastard, consumed with rage to come out of a crashed ship and go after a woman you missed the chance to beat up before.

The final suicide mission could easily be completed with 1 guy.

I will never understand what Shaw hoped to achieve by going after "our creators" to "find the answers". What answer are you gonna find with a beheaded android by your side from a race that clearly thrives on rage and hostility? And finally, this was the most UNNECESSARY use of Guy Pearce ever in a movie.

Making fun of a Ridley Scott movie... Wow, I thought THAT would never happen.
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1/10
Is this a resurrected script by Ed Wood?
mnjarmour24 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
This is not so much a review as a means for me to entertain myself and thereby derive some enjoyment from having sat through this movie.

HI, I'm Elizabeth Shaw. Late in the movie I'll run around the spaceship in my underwear covered in blood with staples across my abdomen. This is a common occurrence in 2093 because nobody will think to ask "Hey, what happened to you?"

I'm Meredith Vickers. I'm a narcissistic battle-axe who is only in it for me. Never mind that I could have stayed on earth and run my dad's company. Seems traveling with him to experience the same unknown and potentially lethal fate was the smarter option. Did I mention that I brought this amazing piece of surgical technology, apparently for my own benefit, but that doesn't work on women? Oopsie!

I'm David. I'm an android whose condescendingly polite tone serves no other purpose than to annoy the hell out of you throughout your journey (and the movie). Said journey will be mercifully short thanks to me. I take incredibly stupid and shortsighted risks for a seemingly intelligent artificial life-form. I poison one of the crew members that my creator spent a lot of money to send up here. No matter that the introduction of alien DNA into the ship could put everyone's life at risk including the frail old guy it is my mission to serve. I'll make it all right in the end.

Hello. My name is Millburn and I'm a biologist. In the future we've forgotten the lesson of The Crocodile Hunter and Sigfried and Roy: namely that wild animals are unpredictable and potentially lethal. When I come across an unknown life-form on an inhospitable planet, naturally I'm going to approach it like a puppy at a dog pound.

I'm Fifield, a geologist. Early in the movie I introduce myself as a one-dimensional malcontent with no concerns beyond money. My social skills are such that I have no compunction about saying as much and making enemies in the process. This is a very sensitive and perilous mission where individuals will be working in close confines with one another with no contact to the outside world. I know what you are thinking: when this crew was being assembled it's a good thing somebody thought to include the borderline sociopath. I'll die and you won't care.

Here is the escape ship. It is self-contained but attached to the mother ship so there is easy entrance and exit. When it comes time to deploy don't bother walking on board, though. Just follow it in your personal jettison pod and make your way over when you can. See ya later!

Safety protocols are unusual in 2093. In the original Alien if potentially infected crewmembers are outside the ship you lock them out. Seems that's not nearly as effective as opening the loading dock and chasing everyone with a flamethrower. Yes, a flamethrower. Guns are efficient but roasting people alive is so much more dramatic. In 2093 we don't care about the risks of having burning crew members running around our cargo bay.

Strangely, the world of 2093 is far more technologically advanced than the one in the original Alien which takes place even further in the future. I can only assume that the engineers of the far future suffered a similar fate as the biologists.

The only good line in the movie comes when Meredith Vickers says that her father spent $1 trillion dollars in financing the expedition. Golly, $1 trillion dollars? It is a figure so perfectly round in number and sufficiently inflated as to succinctly summarize the imagination involved in this script.

When this movie inevitably gets re-released 20 years from now it will only be fitting if it plays alongside Plan 9 From Outer Space.
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1/10
Muddled, boring and lacking tension. (possible spoilers)
kevinhayward1 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
I saw this at a midnight preview and I was really looking forward to it. I'm a big fan of Alien, but I was really disappointed; this is a bloated mess.

In Alien, the creature presented an abstract threat to earth but the plot centered on the immediate, physical threat to the crew. In Prometheus, the threat is purely abstract and while SOME bad stuff happens to the characters, they are all unsympathetic so it is difficult to care. Characters are established with simplistic dialog; this is the cool black guy, this is the incautious explorer, this is the obnoxious mercenary cyberpunk (who, for no reason, is also a scientist), this is the uptight corporate type.

The scientists don't behave like scientists, they don't talk like scientists. The nerdy biologist (who has to walk off to be monster fodder later), walks away from an alien corpse because it's not his field of interest. Huh? Archeologists suddenly turn into medical experts and people exploring an alien ecosystem for the first time remove helmets without regard for contamination of the environment or themselves. Often, the only justification for character actions seems to be to set up later plot points.

Alien worked because it focused on believable characters stuck in a terrible situation, without that believability the film would be greatly lessened. Prometheus, lacking that, is uninteresting.

Prometheus puts me in mind of Avatar. The use of 3D is excellent and the art direction is amazing. However, as with Avatar, technical excellence cannot make up for a terrible plot, sub-standard characterisation and meaningless dialogue.
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