After having a doctor's visit but then missing the call with the test results, Phil automatically jumps to conclusions and starts saying his goodbyes. Meanwhile Javier pops up unannounced again and takes Manny to the horse races for a belated birthday celebration, and a subtle competition ensues when Mitchell brings home an environmental law award and it becomes a game of who has the bigger trophy.
While Jay and Claire become hyper-competitive while working on their boys' science project, Gloria tries to help Phil with his real estate seminar. Meanwhile, Cameron and Mitchell interview a potential birth mother.
Claire's family tries to help her prepare for her political debate, Lily begins saying the "F word" right before her appearance as a flower girl at a wedding, and Jay begins to wonder if his dog Stella is suicidal.
Claire thinks Phil's prospective new client is hitting on her, tensions rise as Mitchell and Cameron temporarily stay with Jay and Gloria, and Alex becomes jealous when Hayley volunteers as a Big Sister.
Alex accidentally reveals a secret about Haley to their dad, Cameron fakes a back injury to catch Claire in a lie, Mitchell confesses a secret about one of Jay's proudest moments, and Luke helps Manny try to impress a girl.
Cameron reunites an old clown act despite Mitchell's warnings, Phil plays hardball with a rival to get a listing, Manny's new "friend" has a crush on Gloria, and Claire wants her daughters to friend her on Facebook.
Phil makes an impulsive car purchase and wonders how Claire will react, Jay struggles to get himself and his family to a weekend with the guys at Pebble Beach, and Mitchell and Cameron lose Lily's stuffed bunny on the subway.
Jay and Manny are left to accompany Lily at her recital as Mitchell and Cameron bring Gloria along as translator as they adopt a Mexican child. Meanwhile, Haley has a surprise announcement about her plans after high school.
Gloria tries to surprise Jay with news on his birthday that she is pregnant, while Phil surprises Jay with a fishing trip. Meanwhile, Mitchell and Cameron debate getting Lily a cat after she loses out on getting a baby brother.
Phil is upset that Luke wants to give up magic, Jay tries to get away from Gloria's snoring, Mitchell does errands as Cameron starts his new job as music teacher, and Alex suddenly becomes more sarcastic.
When Haley is arrested for underage drinking, Phil, Claire, and Mitchell must intervene, leaving Cameron in charge of the kids. Jay's ex-wife, DeDe, makes a surprise visit, and he desperately tries to hide Gloria's pregnancy from her.
While Claire and the kids are away at one of Alex's competitions, one of Cam's friends has a "date" with Phil. Meanwhile, Mitchell has a breakthrough with Jay on a shopping trip, and Cameron gets Jay and Gloria a surprise gift.
Mitchell and Cameron fight to save a tree, Phil and Jay literally come to blows at a kids' birthday party, Claire goes shopping with Gloria--who is suffering from "pregnancy brain," and Alex tries to get an embarrassing photo of Haley.