Jay struggles as he returns to the job, and Claire is in a no-win situation having to fire an employee. Mitchell and Cam fight over who keeps Lily for the summer. Meanwhile, Phil and the kids struggle with relationships...
Claire tries to stop a woman from speeding in the neighborhood, which creates a business conflict for Phil. Meanwhile, Mitchell and Cameron befriend a strange new neighbor, and Gloria and Manny learn how to ride a bicycle.
Phil and Claire question their intelligence after a comment by Alex, Mitchell suspects that he fathered a child 8 years ago, and Gloria tells an embarrassing lie about Jay to cover up his rudeness to another couple.
Phil and Claire's kids walk in on them having sex while delivering their anniversary present, Gloria tries to keep Claire from seeing an angry e-mail, and Mitchell and Cameron contemplate how to cover up a juice stain on a rug.
Phil and Clair try to revisit an old Valentine's Day act, Jay tries to surprise Gloria with a romantic dinner, Mitchell and Cameron disagree over Mitchell's assistant's crush, and Manny gives Haley relationship advice.
Dede hooks up with Claire's high school boyfriend the night before Lily's birthday party. Meanwhile, Mitchell won't let Cameron play Fizbo the Clown at the party, while Gloria self-medicates to cope with Dede.
Gloria helps Phil figure out why Claire is mad at him, Mitchell forgets to send out invitations to Cameron's fund raiser, and Alex tries to prove that Haley is lying when she says she has a job as a waitress.
Phil spends the day at the spa while Claire tries to replace Haley's favorite sweater, Cameron discovers Mitchell's dirty secret about Lily's adoption, and Jay and Gloria argue over their final resting place.
Phil and Claire have some trepidation when they find out that Luke has befriended their crotchety old neighbor, Mr. Kleezak; Jay's attempt to avoid sitting through a symphony concert with Gloria and Manny lands him in the middle of Mitchell and Cameron's "boys' night out"; and Haley has her own adventures in babysitting with Lily.
Mitchell and Cameron try to determine Lily's guardian in case something happens to them, Claire is scared that Luke will turn out like Phil, and Haley bonds with Alex after she is forced to take Alex to cello practice.
Phil and Claire trade discipline roles for the day, Gloria forces Jay to listen to a horrible business proposal, and Mitchell tries to convince a sick Cameron to let him go to the Lady Gaga concert without him.
Jay wants nothing more than to have a quiet birthday out fishing on the lake, but the family take that as him wanting a big celebration, and in their frantic scramble to put everything together, Claire and Mitchell wind up trapped in the yard of their childhood home; Phil runs into his old college nemesis while at the mall with Gloria and Lily; Cameron gets himself into some hot water at the bakery, and the kids frantically do some creative editing on grandpa's birthday video, all of which leaves Jay with a headache.
The family's dude ranch vacation turns into disaster when Dylan proposes to Haley, Alex gets an unexpected first kiss, their cowboy guide keeps hitting on Gloria, and Phil goes out of his way to impress Jay.
Lily has problems with Mitchell and Cameron's plans to adopt another child, Jay tries to get Manny to confess to stealing a locket at school, and Claire goes to extreme lengths to prove that she was right in an argument.
Claire recruits her family to help gather signatures for a petition to get a stop sign, Gloria loses the family dog, Jay helps Manny try to sell wrapping paper for school, and Cameron leaves a mess in the kitchen for Mitchell.
While Phil takes Haley on a tour of his alma mater, Claire goes out on the town with a man she mistakenly assumes is Mitchell and Cameron's gay friend. Meanwhile, Gloria is alarmed and curious about Manny's mail-order package.
Phil tries to build a treehouse, Haley struggles with writing a college admissions essay, Cameron hits on a single woman to win a bet with Mitchell, and Jay doesn't want to go out salsa dancing with Gloria and another couple.
As the family collects goods for a family whose house burned down, Jay makes an embarrassing remark to Phil during a massage, Claire is jealous of Mitchell's friendship with Gloria, and Cameron struggles with a moving van in a parking lot.
Phil is upset that Claire is stifling his creativity, Mitchell doesn't believe Cameron's "punkin chunkin" story, Gloria won't let Jay tell Manny that his Thanksgiving centerpiece is horrible, and Hayley and Alex get in an accident.