Jay wants to make a good impression on a family moving in across the street; Manny tries to attract a radical thinker; the Pritchett family uses Alex's bout of mono to their advantage; Cam and Mitchell try to teach a ...
Manny's dad shows up bearing extravagant gifts, Mitchell and Cameron fight over how to care for their daughter when she cries at night, and Claire tries to impress the firefighters who responded to Phil's kidney stone 911 call.
Gloria plots to get rid of Jay's new "dog butler," Cameron's helpful nature gets himself in trouble with Mitchell, and Claire asks Phil to punish their son for looking at nude pictures, not knowing they're Phil's.
Mitchell tells Jay that one of his friends is gay to teach him a lesson, Claire gets frustrated with Phil's new master remote control, and Gloria gives Manny's "date" a makeover to improve her self-esteem.
Claire feels like a loser when she catches up with an old friend from work, Jay and Cameron have an unpleasant "encounter" in a locker room, and Mitchell tries to give legal advice to Gloria after she has a wreck.
Haley confronts a terrifying driving examiner in her third attempt to pass the road test. Alex is nervous about a school dance. Gloria taunts Jay and Manny to ride a roller coaster. Phil and Luke look for treasure under the house.
Jay accidentally kills Manny's pet turtle and lies about it, Claire becomes jealous when Phil's ex-girlfriend pays a visit, and Mitchell makes a bold decision after he misses a family day because he's called in to work.
Jay and Mitchell attempt to bond while watching a meteor shower, but things don't go according to plan. Gloria and Cameron try to find something else to occupy their time. Claire and Phil try to help their kids with their school projects.
Claire goes through great lengths to organize a family portrait. Gloria and Phil have an awkward moment while taking Manny and Alex to a Lakers game. Cameron becomes a wedding singer, and Jay has to help Luke with a school project.
When an earthquake hits the area, Claire gets locked in the bathroom with a plumber, Cameron and Mitchell use it as an excuse to get out of brunch with an obnoxious friend, and Manny reevaluates the meaning of life while on a trip with Jay.
Mitchell and Claire agree to break some embarrassing news to each other's significant others, Jay makes a fool of himself at what he thinks is a quinceanera, and Haley helps Alex try to make a popular friend.
Phil, Claire, and the kids try to improve their communication skills by giving up their electronic devices. Gloria is getting obsessed over a neighbor's barking dog, and Mitchell and Cameron try to find a preschool for Lily.
While Claire and Haley get sick at the same time, Phil wages battle against a chirping smoke detector. Manny accidentally gets one of Jay's employees fired, and Cameron wants to put Lily in a TV commercial.
Claire is threatened when Gloria becomes her co-chair for a school dance, Jay bullies Phil into taking a stand during a trip to the mall, and Mitchell and Cameron discover that their daughter is a biter.