Claire and Phil have mixed feelings regarding the first day of school for the kids. Jay and Gloria argue about an outfit for Manny, and a minor problem with Lily gets blown out of proportion by Mitchell and Cameron.
The whole family comes out to support Manny's newfound interest - fencing. It turns out he's quite masterful in the sport, but Jay's proud enthusiasm triggers an old childhood wound for Mitchell. Meanwhile Phil is determined to find where Luke's hidden talents lie.
Jay has a sleepover for his grandkids, but Haley is looking for a way out. Claire tries to get a perfect anniversary gift for Phil, and Mitchell and Cameron discover that their ladyfriend is crazy and jealous of their daughter.
Phil and Claire cancel Christmas for their kids until they confess to wrongdoings at the house. Jay is hesitant to celebrate Gloria and Manny's holiday traditions. Mitchell and Cameron take Lily to meet Santa.
Manny's dad shows up bearing extravagant gifts, Mitchell and Cameron fight over how to care for their daughter when she cries at night, and Claire tries to impress the firefighters who responded to Phil's kidney stone 911 call.
Gloria plots to get rid of Jay's new "dog butler," Cameron's helpful nature gets himself in trouble with Mitchell, and Claire asks Phil to punish their son for looking at nude pictures, not knowing they're Phil's.
Mitchell tells Jay that one of his friends is gay to teach him a lesson, Claire gets frustrated with Phil's new master remote control, and Gloria gives Manny's "date" a makeover to improve her self-esteem.
Claire feels like a loser when she catches up with an old friend from work, Jay and Cameron have an unpleasant "encounter" in a locker room, and Mitchell tries to give legal advice to Gloria after she has a wreck.
Haley confronts a terrifying driving examiner in her third attempt to pass the road test. Alex is nervous about a school dance. Gloria taunts Jay and Manny to ride a roller coaster. Phil and Luke look for treasure under the house.
Jay accidentally kills Manny's pet turtle and lies about it, Claire becomes jealous when Phil's ex-girlfriend pays a visit, and Mitchell makes a bold decision after he misses a family day because he's called in to work.
Jay and Mitchell attempt to bond while watching a meteor shower, but things don't go according to plan. Gloria and Cameron try to find something else to occupy their time. Claire and Phil try to help their kids with their school projects.
Claire goes through great lengths to organize a family portrait. Gloria and Phil have an awkward moment while taking Manny and Alex to a Lakers game. Cameron becomes a wedding singer, and Jay has to help Luke with a school project.