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Battleship
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Battleship More at IMDbPro »

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10 out of 19 people found the following review useful:

WHOO-RAA! POOP-RA! I need orders SIR! YES SIR! NO SIR!

1/10
Author: trnjamesbond (trnjamesbond@aol.com) from Canada
7 August 2012

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Prelude: I believe all "alienesque" style of films have been done and can not be rewritten. This includes Alien with a bad guy alien, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, with a good guy alien encounter(also E.T.). Hopefully you get my point.

Firstly, Humans send out a signal to see if there are any aliens, then when they arrive, the stupid Navy has a temper tantrum and starts blowing them away. Typical Neanderthal way of thinking. I wouldn't expect anything actually new from this film since it's based on a Hasbro game.(I just don't see how there is any story here except to sell more toys, and sell more Rhianna songs on itunes)

Second, this film was introduced in the theatrical trailers as "FROM THE PRODUCERS OF TRANSFORMERS!" Bad idea number one. Second just one question, Peter Berg Director/Actor? What is this garbage Mr. Berg? You are a pretty awesome actor, yet you've been bought out by Hollywood? I thought you were better than that! I still think you were great in Aspen Extreme, Fire In The Sky, and the television series Chicago Hope, I just don't understand this mess?????? WHY???! Gezz, bought out by Hollywood, I can't believe Peter Berg stooped that low. Uhgg! Must need the money I'm guessing? But still I think that Peter Berg is a really great actor.

Now for my review......

The film starts off with the usual whoop-Dee-do government NASA story line. Humans want to reach out to space, and send the usual signal to seek out alien intelligence, then we move onto the usual WHOO-RAA! This consists of the usual military way of thinking, and that is kill everything that you can!

Come on! We watch in this film the "American Navy" being beaten on Hawaii ground by the Japanese, during a friendly soccer game. Pearl Harbor anyone? Anyone?

This steals from the Transformers films of recent, but is lacking in juicy stuff to sink your teeth into. Not that there was ever anything to sink your teeth into in those films, Transformers strays away from the original cartoon concept as far as you could throw a golf ball in space. But this comment is neither here nor there. The only reason I mention these horrible "Bay" films, is that this film seems to be just like it, pretending to be all "EPIC" and all the while copying the exact style of the film. The only difference between the two, is that there are no Decepticons, and no Autobots. The rest seems the same. I still can't believe that a great actor like Peter Burg would succumb to Hollywood greed and be bought out by this ignorant bloodsucking failing conglomerate of corporations.

Well, it's also sad to see the great actor Liam Neeson in this film, he's way too good for this Micheal "Bayesque EPIC Garbage" style of film.

Now let's move onto the stupid rise of the "Ocean Aliens", being all robotic just like in Transformers. Why is it that every time they make a film about aliens it's got to be so destructive? Also why do all the alien style films have to do with killing, and about what the caveman like thinking of the military does not understand? This story line is so stupid it makes me want to throw up all over the place.

Now, to keep us interested in this film, it includes all the garbage action alien stories we watched prior, we are filled with shaky cam, shaky CGI fake cam, close-ups, zoom ins and so forth. Also included is "Transformers" style robotic sound plug-ins. The producers couldn't even afford to come up with their own original sound effects! They just stole from the "Bay" Transformer films. I'd say, recycling? Don't you think?

Come on Hollywood! Give us something we haven't seen before. Oh wait your just all about the money! Dumb down all the people on the planet and show them that this is the only way to make an alien invasion film.

I'm going to wash this horrible film(if you want to call it a film) from my mind and go watch Alien by Ridley Scott



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