3.1/10
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2 user 1 critic

Vampiro (2009)

Not Rated | | Horror
Half-human and half-vampire Casanova Vladimires, played by Damian Chapa, protects humans and fights vampires in East LA.

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
...
...
Alma's Mother (as Estefania Iglesias)
Vida Harlow ...
Blanca
...
Sexicana
Armando Elcamino ...
Tex
...
Marc
Ray Chavez Jr. ...
Juan
Kimberly Sanchez ...
Liz
Stanley Griego ...
Ricardo
Ricco Chapa ...
Sebastian
Veronica Rodriguez ...
Alma
...
Guadalupe - Casanova's Mother
...
Young Casanova
Marco Capem ...
Albert Pike
Jesse Tamoria ...
Vampire Dealer
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Storyline

Half-human and half-vampire Casanova Vladimires, played by Damian Chapa, protects humans and fights vampires in East LA.

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Genres:

Horror

Certificate:

Not Rated
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Also Known As:

Mexican Vampire  »

Filming Locations:

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Box Office

Budget:

$800,000 (estimated)
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Company Credits

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Aspect Ratio:

1.78 : 1
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User Reviews

The worst vampire movie ever
6 November 2011 | by (United States) – See all my reviews

I've never seen a vampire movie this bad. The dialog is redundant. The dialog is redundant. The dialog is redundant. The dialog is redundant. The entire first half of the movie is just Damien Chapa narrating the same few sentences over and over again.

The acting is terrible - every spoken line is just devoid of any emotion or just pointlessly has too much emotion. All the lines are in Spanglish- sometimes in English or sometimes in Spanish without subtitles. When they are speaking English its over-accented and uses such poor grammar and syntax. There's lines like: "Don't me leave in the middle of the nowhere." or "You just love the naked." My question is, if the filmmakers didn't understand English well enough, why didn't they just make the movie in Spanish? When characters are speaking this badly broken form of English it distracts from the plot (what little there is) far too much. Combine this with the fact that when the characters are speaking as vampires - the fangs in their mouth ruin the words because they're talking with their mouth full. There was a moment where I didn't know if a character was saying "I love white girls" or "I love hot wings" - its that bad.

The film shows Mexican Americans in the worst possible light - portraying them all as cruel rapists and hatemongers which is just sad because this movie was made by Mexican Americans. There are no redeemable characters in this movie. What could have been the "Stand and Deliver" of vampire movies ends up looking like some racist's diatribe about Hispanics. Naming a main character Sexican or calling the only "white girl" in the movie Blanca is just offensive.

As far as any "vampire mythos" goes - the movie just makes it up as it goes along and then rewrites it. Vampires are only affected by sunlight sometimes - whenever its convenient for the story. It's established at one point that Vampires are afraid of sharks - that sharks can kill vampires but we never see any sharks. Why establish the most ridiculously inconceivable vampire lore ever - that they can be killed by sharks - and not follow through on it? Avoid this movie. It is painful.


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