Lafayette Reynolds: If ever there was a time to listen to a white man, Tara, this would be it.
Bill Compton: [about Maxine's crazy trance] Does she ever clam down?
Hoyt Fortenberry: Playin' Wii gets her to focus, but I wouldn't call it calm!
Sookie Stackhouse: I've know Tara my whole life and every trace of her was gone. Replaced. And here I thought vampires were the only one's who could hypnotize people.
Bill Compton: No offense Sookie, but humans are shockingly susceptible to just about every form of thought manipulation.
Sookie Stackhouse: It's all comin' from Maryann. All of it. She-she eats people's hearts and she wants more. She wants their souls and that chant...
Bill Compton: Chant?
Sookie Stackhouse: Lo lo Bromios, lo lo Dendrites, Eleutherios, Enorches, Bacchus.
Bill Compton: [very serious] Bacchus!
Sookie Stackhouse: Bill... I've seen that look on your face before and I don't like it.
Bill Compton: I read about some ancient creatures many years ago. But I always assumed it was just a myth. But I believe Maryann might be one.
Sookie Stackhouse: What is she and more importantly, how do we kill her?
Bill Compton: I do not know how to defeat her, but I do know one vampire who might.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: People thought I was crazy, 'cause I thought I saw a pig!
Lafayette Reynolds: This has got to be the worst motherfuckin' intervention in history.
Lettie Mae Thornton: [during Tara's intervention] If only Miss Jeanette was still alive.
Lafayette Reynolds: She don't need no backwoods witch. She needs Thorazine and a padded cell.
Terry Bellefleur: [as the zombies descend upon them] When I give an order, you fucking follow it! Now... move on out! Come on! We will unfuck this situation at a later date.
Sookie Stackhouse: [entering his room] Eric?
Eric Northman: [bereaved tone] Godric is gone.
Sookie Stackhouse: I know. I'm so sorry.
Jason Stackhouse: [to the couple just hit by the airport taxi] Hey, what the hell's wrong with you eyes?
Maryann Forrester: I have other people bringing us something living to sacrafice.
Sam Merlotte: I got no idea how we're gonna deal with a god-damned maenad.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: A mae-what?
Sam Merlotte: Wait. You don't remember any of what I told you last night? Or were you passed out, spent the whole fuckin' day in bed, sleepin' off your bender?
Detective Andy Bellefleur: You said uh... Maryann was to blame for all this, the black bug eyes and the craziness.
Sam Merlotte: And the people showin' up dead with their hearts cut out, in the back seat of your car.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: She did that?
Sam Merlotte: Yeah. She killed Daphne too.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: Fuck me... We got another serial killer.
Sam Merlotte: Andy, listen to me. I don't know how to stop her. Maryann isn't human. She is a maenad. She is a supernatural creature and she is immortal. She has powers and she's not leavin' till she gets what she wants, which I think is me.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: What's she want you for?
Sam Merlotte: I think she wants to cut out my heart while a bunch of naked people watch. All for Dionysus or Satan or some god that has horns that she wants to awaken.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: [indignant] People thought I was crazy because I thought I saw a pig!
Sam Merlotte: Well you did see a pig and you were right. That pig is a part of all this. That pig was... was doin' some of Maryann's dirty work for her.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: Well if what you say is true, we need to kill that bitch!
Sam Merlotte: She don't die. Remember?
Jessica Hamby: [to Bill about Maxine] Oh, thank god you're home. She's gone like totally backshit!
Jason Stackhouse: I'm goin' to Merlotte's and find out what the hell's happenin' on my turf!
Bill Compton: Jason, if it is the same creature we think it might be, you don't wanna go any where near it. Trust me.
Jason Stackhouse: Mr. Compton, I ain't about to sit back and let some monster destroy my town.
Sookie Stackhouse: Jason, this would be one of 'those' times to use your head.
Jason Stackhouse: Oh I am. I ain't never been so clear in my whole life. This here, is the war I've been training for.
Terry Bellefleur: [tranced, about to fire the gun] They call this move, stress inoculation!
Detective Andy Bellefleur: [inside the freezer] We are fucked!
Sam Merlotte: We're still alive.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: For now! What we gonna do? We gonna have to kill them all.
Sam Merlotte: Well even if we could, those are our friends and neighbors.
Sam Merlotte: And cousins!
Detective Andy Bellefleur: Right. We can't kill 'em.
Terry Bellefleur: [completely tranced, about the god] He's comin'. He's on his way and he's gonna kill us all.
Maryann Forrester: [catching Bill and Sookie] What are you doing in my house?
Sookie Stackhouse: This is 'not' your house!
Maryann Forrester: [wickedly] It is now.
Bill Compton: [to Maryann] I strongly suggest you remove yourself immediately!
Maryann Forrester: [about Bill] My, you found yourself quite a specimen. Though I dare say there's nothing stopping him from one day leaving you cold.
Sookie Stackhouse: You don't scare me.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: [inside the freezer] Aren't you glad I didn't take you advice and quit drinkin'?
[passing him the bottle]
Detective Andy Bellefleur: It's gonna save out lives.
Sam Merlotte: If I had left this town when I wanted to, nobody'd be in this situation.
Sam Merlotte: Don't beat yourself up Sam. You've been real good to this town, even if you are sometimes a nudist.
Sookie Stackhouse: [driving as Bill retches out the window] Bill?
Bill Compton: [sitting back] I'm alright.
Sookie Stackhouse: No, you are not alright! None of this is alright. I'm callin' Eric!
[as Bill vomits again]
Bill Compton: I will not turn to Eric!
Sookie Stackhouse: I've got to get you to Dr. Ludwig.
Bill Compton: [sitting back again] Sookie, What happened back there? What did you do to her?
Sookie Stackhouse: I don't know. I swear. It was Maryann that attacked me in the woods, even though I don't have a scar. I could feel her there on my back when she was touchin' me.
Bill Compton: I will kill her!
Sookie Stackhouse: Good. How?
Bill Compton: Tara has been under Maryann's influence. Maybe she could be of some help to us.
Lafayette Reynolds: [to Bill about selling V] Hey, slow your roll. It ain't even me. Talk to your boy Eric. He's the one got me pushin' the shit.
Tara Thornton: [coming out of her trance, crying] Oh my god. I'm crazy... I'm weak.
Sookie Stackhouse: No, no. It wasn't you. It was not you.
Jessica Hamby: [to Maxine as she continues to taunt her] Lady, you have no idea how little control I have over my actions! You also do not know I have not eaten in days!
Maxine Fortenberry: But I never get to go to the party! You know how many invitations I passed up to stay home with my cry-baby son?
Hoyt Fortenberry: No, you always go, and you always drag me along with you.
Maxine Fortenberry: Oh you selfish little shit!
Hoyt Fortenberry: Y'know you can spew as much venom as you want to, Mama, I'm not letting you get anywhere near Merlotte.
Maxine Fortenberry: Oh you could come with me - maybe meet a nice girl instead of that devil slut.
Jessica Hamby: I'm getting real tired of this shit.
Hoyt Fortenberry: You're going to treat Jess with respect, or I'm gonna lock your ass up in that cubbyhole until Vampire Bill gets home.
Maxine Fortenberry: Oh, you're Dirty Harry, now huh? 'Cos you're dipping your penguin dick in that vamper tramp? You are cut from the same cloth as your daddy. You're both half men.
Jessica Hamby: Mrs. Fortenberry!
Hoyt Fortenberry: Just calm down.
Maxine Fortenberry: A half man and a dead whore - who else would have either of ya?"
Hoyt Fortenberry: [Jessica's fangs spring out] Jess, don't!
Jessica Hamby: Look, lady, you have no idea how little control I have over my actions. You also do not know that I haven't eaten in days.
Hoyt Fortenberry: Seriously?
Jessica Hamby: You give me one good reason why I shouldn't drain you dry.
Maxine Fortenberry: I don't gotta give you nothin'.
Hoyt Fortenberry: Fuck, no!
Jason Stackhouse: [Pretending to be god] As your leader, I am very pleased with my offering.
Jane Bodehouse: Thank you god.
Jason Stackhouse: You are welcome - you're all blessed.
Jason Stackhouse: Now go!
Terry Bellefleur: Squad, report to Maryanne for debriefing.
Jane Bodehouse: Anyone who wants to debrief me can do so right now!