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"Southland" Derailed (TV Episode 2009) Poster

(TV Series)

(2009)

Quotes

[Cooper and Sherman are responding to a 911 call at a fast food restaurant]

Shouting Woman: Every day, for fifteen years!

Ofcr. John Cooper: Ma'am, what's the problem?

Shouting Woman: They're out of chicken nuggets! I've eaten them every day for fifteen years!

Ofcr. John Cooper: And you called 911 because they're out of chicken nuggets?

Shouting Woman: What am I supposed to do?

Ofcr. John Cooper: I don't know what you're supposed to do, but right now you need to bring it down!

Shouting Woman: No, I won't!

Ofcr. John Cooper: Yes, you will!

[a radio call comes in, requesting that Cooper switch to a private channel, and he walks out]

Ofcr. Ben Sherman: Ma'am - have you tried the fish sandwich?

Shouting Woman: [irritated] What?

Ofcr. Ben Sherman: The fish... it's pretty good.

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[Cooper and Sherman are flagged down by a man in the street]

Man in Street: My car broke down. I'm-I-I-I gotta be someplace; I'm late.

[he starts to get in the back seat]

Ofcr. John Cooper: Whoa, whoa, stay - step away from the car, sir.

Man in Street: [returning to the front passenger window] I just told you - I have an appointment, I need a ride, right now!

Ofcr. John Cooper: We're not a taxi service, sir.

Man in Street: Fine; call me a cab.

Ofcr. John Cooper: You're a cab!

Man in Street: [stunned] ... What is wrong with you guys, man? - - you guys, bitches! - - you!

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Det. Daniel Salinger: Hey - can you help me grill later?

Kimmy Salinger: [trying to ignore him as she sunbathes] No.

Det. Daniel Salinger: You know, there was a time when you used to *love* workin' side by side by the ol' grillmaster.

Kimmy Salinger: Stop embarrassing yourself.

Det. Daniel Salinger: Attendance is mandatory, Kimmy.

Kimmy Salinger: Forget it; I made plans two weeks ago.

Det. Daniel Salinger: Absolutely not. Family tradition; the whole block's comin'. Do you even know what this holiday's about? Huh? We honor those who gave up their lives defending our country.

Kimmy Salinger: Like I give a - - . Mom!

Liz Salinger: Sal - she made plans.

Det. Daniel Salinger: Well, so... break 'em.

Kimmy Salinger: [storming past him into the house] I hate you.

Det. Daniel Salinger: Nice.

[Larry and Bridget can be heard arguing across the street]

Det. Daniel Salinger: D'ya hear that? Do you - I'm goin' over there. Where's the freakin' respect? It's Memorial Day, for cryin' out loud.

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Det. Nate Moretta: [discussing the just-released Marta Ruiz] Well, what about ICE? She's freakin' illegal.

Det. Sammy Bryant: Asylum. The lawyer told the court that if they deported her back to Mexico again, cartel would kill her.

Det. Andy Williams: This is so screwed up; bring us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses dying to deal drugs.

Det. Kenny 'No-Gun': The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Det. Sammy Bryant: Yeah, you think this is funny? Huh? She and her freakin' sons have tried to take out Janila twice. Now she's gotta wait for trial again, while this monster's out on bail?... This sucks!

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Det. Kenny 'No-Gun': [observing a tattoo on a dead gang member] Jesús Malverde... the narco saint... you know, from Sinaloa? Patron saint for drug dealers.

Det. Andy Williams: Looks like a bad actor in one of those cheesy Mexican films.

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Marquis: [displaying the tattoo on his stomach] 'Trust No Bitch'.

Marta Ruiz: I'm a bitch; and you trust *me*... you better find that girl and make sure she stays there. No more games.

Marquis: I can do dat; she already text me - they're movin' her. Just give me a little time, let me settle in, and I'll let you know when you got your window.

Marta Ruiz: You f- - up again, your whole family's in trouble. *Everybody* goes.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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