A comedy about a veteran NYPD cop whose rare baseball card is stolen. Since it's his only hope to pay for his daughter's upcoming wedding, he recruits his partner to track down the thief, a memorabilia-obsessed gangster.
Juan Carlos Hernández
A recently paroled ex-con who has trouble adjusting to the wacky normalcy of life outside of prison. He has spent the last three years behind bars after getting caught committing a crime and taking the rap for his much more dangerous pal.
Ex-Navy Seal Bobby Kalinowski lives a quiet, peaceful life as a landscape architect in an LA suburb with his wife Dawn and 16 year old daughter Brianna. Tonight they are invited out for an evening on the town by new neighbors clay and Elise Freeman to a happening club downtown. Little did they know that this would be the start of a life or death ordeal for the group. While at the club, Dawn is accosted by one of the club owners, Ethan Bordas. When Bobby intervenes and accidentally kills Ethan defending his wife, his enraged older brother, Seth, puts a one hundred thousand dollar bounty on his head. Now Bobby must escape LA while being pursued by every criminal, wise guy and thug in the city. Bobby decides to separate from his wife and neighbors and revert to his Navy Seal training to survive. To complicate matters, Seth has a corrupt police sergeant preventing Bobby from getting any help from the law! However, they all underestimate the fighting skills and abilities of Bobby ... Written by
Absolute rubbish that makes Suburban Commando look like American Beauty...
In Wrong Side of Town (a film that deserves some kind of award for having the most bogus and misleading DVD artwork in recent memory) ex-WWE wrestler Rob Van Dam plays a family man who gets in hot water with a vengeful crime boss, and has to battle his way out of it. Luckily, Van Dam's character happens to be an former Navy SEAL...
Look, this film is terrible. I mean, truly awful. For a start, the DVD cover features prominently WWE big gun David 'Batista' Bautista, but as Van Dam's old Navy buddy, he only turns up in a couple of scenes, and majestically unconvincing ones they are at that. Mind you, even Bautista has more screen presence and charisma that the woeful RVD, who, in terms of acting ability, makes his nearly-namesake Jean-Claude Van Damme (Van Dam originally adopted the ring name because he vaguely resembles the 'Muscles from Brussels') look like Robert Mitchum by comparison.
Featuring a shockingly amateurish script, softly-softly fight scenes that just don't cut it, and lots of appalling acting (even from the non-wrestlers), this film sucks on every level. It's the kind of film in which a man can get shot in the leg, only for the police to send him home in a taxi rather than ordering him to hospital. It's the kind of film in which the leading man arms himself with lots of guns and knives, and dresses in black for the final showdown with the villains, and slips on his sunglasses...even though it's the middle of the night. It's the kind of film in which, after beating up a load of street trash, one ex-military tough guy says to another 'Just like old times...' It's also full of odd gambits that left me scratching my head, like the bizarre James Bond-inspired opening credits, a lingering shot of topless adult film star Stormy Daniels, and rapper Ja Rule turning up in a cameo part that should have led him to fire his agent; any day-player could have took the small role of the generic dirtbag 'gangsta' he plays here. Even in the largely worthless pantheon of dodgy genre pics that attempt to showcase wrestling stars in the lead roles, Wrong Side of Town hits a new low. Avoid, and then some.
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