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436 out of 596 people found the following review useful:

WORST X-men movie ever (by far).

Author: Apu Garnesh from United States
27 July 2013

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Usually plot holes are isolated. This movie was however one giant plothole.

(1) Grandpa

This is what I understood at the end of the movie: Turns out Grandpa is a bad ass who just wanted to magically suck Wolverine's healing powers and live forever. So what he did was (i) Invite Wolverine to Japan; (ii) Fake his own death; (iii) As part of his plan (?) inject a spider onto Wolverine's heart so that he loses his healing powers--What in the world did this achieve for evil Grandpa?; (iv) As part of his plan (?) allow his granddaughter to be subject to multiple assassination attempts, just so that Wolverine will keep following her; (v) Then after leaving a trail of crumbs for Hansel and Gretel, captures his granddaughter, and lures Wolverine to some sort of lair, where his powers can be sucked.

The (?)'s indicate where I am not sure if it was really part of Grandpa's plan or things just worked out this way.

Given the tremendous amount of uncertainty involved in the above plan (e.g. Wolverine might've been killed, in which case no powers to suck; his granddaughter might've been killed, in which case end of story, and Wolverine would've returned to the Yukon to chill out with grizzlies), you'd think there'd been a simpler and cleaner way to do all this. But no.

All this is quite forgivable, compared to other things that went wrong.

(2) Viperwoman

What the hell is motivating her? What does she want? Is she working for herself? Or is she working for Grandpa and if so, why?

How did she inject the spider onto Wolverine's heart? Just by kissing him in the middle of the night? (This was never clarified.)

(3) Japanese Father and Japanese Fiancé

OK so it turns out the whole family (except pretty granddaughter) are a bunch of one-dimensional assholes. This is clichéd and boring and stupid, but still acceptable if you at least make some effort explaining what exactly was motivating them.

Japanese Father wants to kill his own daughter just because Grandpa willed her everything? (Oh, and this too was part of Grandpa's grand masterplan?)

Japanese Fiancé is just some asshole who's engaged to pretty granddaughter (this, BTW, is explained for us gaijin simply by the line that "You're not Japanese, so you won't understand"). He's the minister of justice or something. And he likes to have white hookers in his hotel room. Uh, and what else do we know about him? Nothing! Basically he's just some asshole who somehow wants to do bad things.

There are many other things wrong with this movie. E.g.,

(4) Totally artificial and forced chemistry between Wolverine and pretty Japanese granddaughter.

I literally cringed whenever they hooked up.

(5) Jean Gray bad dreams BS was just LAME

I can think of only two things I liked about the movie: (A) The Nagasaki A-bomb scene. Pretty sick, think it's the first time I've seen it portrayed up-close in any movie. (B) The black ninjas, doing their thing in the middle of the night and flying across roof-tops.

Other than that this movie was total scheisse.

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273 out of 353 people found the following review useful:

You know you are a bad director when:

Author: MisterHOH from London, England
10 August 2013

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

You know you are a bad director when...

you negate the conclusion of the previous movie.

your plot makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

you have more plot inconsistencies than Swiss cheese.

your favorite X-men character fights and moves with the grace of a rock.

your favorite X-men character acts like a cretin and his decisions are abysmally bad.

your favorite X-men character gets totally owned by a... ¿corporate samurai?.

your favorite X-men character loses his power more than half of the film.

your favorite X-men character cuts a tree with an axe and then gets tired.

you can cut adamantium.

you can drill into adamantium.

your adamantium cutter fails to cut flesh.

Japanese swords can withstand adamantium.

your villain is not even clownishly developed.

your villain has absolutely no motivation for how she acts. NONE. Worst villain ever.

your villain sheds her skin for no reason.

inexplicably you can suck a mutant of its power with a giant adamantium suit.

you kill a bear for no reason.

grandpa is a douche for the completely wrong reasons.

you take 50 rope arrows to your back and not try to get lose.

you have an awesome army of ninjas, yet in the end they decide to go on a sudden camping trip.

!!!!! you perform heart surgery on yourself, even if you can't heal back !!!!!

you don't pass out during heart surgery on yourself, but scream with excruciating pain when someone cuts your nails.

you live after performing heart surgery on yourself.

the best scene in the film is a scene after the credits.

you force a love relationship that is somehow immoral and has no meaning or conclusion.

your film has an ending without any conclusions; except Wolverine now has crappier claws.

You know you have a successful PR when:

people still pay to see this mess.

Be warned.

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203 out of 281 people found the following review useful:

Typical action mixed with a cheesy and illogical script

Author: ThePterodactylGynecologi from United States
27 July 2013

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

The Wolverine is OK at best, even with Hugh Jackman's usual superb acting. Most of the action is mediocre and offers no surprises (you can tell from the situation who is gonna die and who is gonna hit who several seconds before they do so) with the exception of a few really great scenes, but these scenes are scattered very far apart.

What really brings the movie down isn't its action though, but rather the culprit lies in the writing. Not only does it defy science and physics every chance it gets -{{SPOILER: A poor representation of an atomic bomb hitting Nagasaki is shown through a memory SPOILER OVER}}- , but the depictions of certain powers make you wonder if the writers even know how Wolverine's powers work. -{{SPOILER: At one point a guy in a robot samurai (Real Steel, anyone?)somehow manages to CUT Wolverine's adamantium claws with a heated blade, despite the fact that adamantium is supposed to be unbreakable, with the only material within the same zone of strength being vibranium (what Captain America's shield is made of). But the film never offers any sort of clarification or explanation to this. Added to this is that by somehow drilling into his bones, the man in the suit gets younger as if he got Logan's healing factor (even though that's not how it works), yet a few seconds later he gets stabbed and his supposed healing power does nothing anymore? SPOILER OVER}}-

The character writing is poor and very 2-dimensional for everyone other than Logan, and so many developmental/emotional moments are thrown at you so fast that you don't have time to grab onto any of them. It's like there was a bag full of typical Hollywood ideas that the movie just flung on-top of the script.

Build onto this is a predictable and lazy script with a few cheap jokes and a forced romance, and you have a movie that does little more than half-entertain you. And to add to this, the after credits scene makes NO sense (powers wise) and backtracks/negates important aspects from the last movie, which is a very childish and unprofessional thing to do, even if the last movie was quite bad. The people at Marvel need to simply accept their mistake and move on, rather than try to dwell on things that people enjoyed from their first 2 successful X-Men movies.

However, people always overate movies when they first come out, especially for Marvel, so the rating you see here is probably not the one you would give it. But if you're willing to deny several of the things you thought you knew for an hour and a half to be sorta entertained, then you shouldn't have much of a problem for this movie. If not, i recommend reading the plot instead to get ready for the next movie.

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171 out of 251 people found the following review useful:

Plot Holes Galore

Author: Minerva Breanne Meybridge ( from Santa Monica
30 July 2013

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

1. When Logan recovers from the atomic bomb blast, why does his hair grow back perfectly styled?

2. When he loses his healing ability and he extends his claws on the train, then retracts them, why do his knuckles instantly heal?

3. After Logan is shot several times in the chest, wouldn't the last thing he would want to do is go chop apart a huge fallen tree? Wouldn't his wounds open up and cause him to bleed to death?

4. It is very convenient that is Prometheus there was an alien removal machine and in Wolverine there was a color x-ray machine, but how could Logan operate on himself and reach to his heart to get the parasite? Beyond the fact that it would be awkward, beyond the fact that heart surgeons have to crack apart the ribs and then use a rib spreader, beyond the fact that his ribcage is saturated with adamantine, wouldn't the pain have caused him to black out?

5. If all Shingen had to do to get Logan's healing ability, wouldn't it have been easier for him to have drilled into his claws when he had him trapped in the chair, rather than building an adamantine transformer?

6. If Professor X found the ability to reintegrate his molecules like Dr. Manhattan in Watchmen, why didn't he fix his spine so that he didn't have to use the wheelchair anymore? And grow some hair on his head? (eh, you even gotta wonder why in the 24th Century, Jon Luc Picard never heard about Rogaine)

7. If only part of Logan's adamantine claws were chopped off, why do complete bone ones grow back? What happened to the partial metal ones?

The movie was far too long on ninja fight scenes. I was beginning to fall asleep. Sad that the bad guy turned out to be someone whose life he saved. The Viper character was just creepy without any definable reason for why he was even there.

All in all, it was a waste of bad popcorn.

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91 out of 136 people found the following review useful:

OMG! Who writes this garbage?

Author: ggiatrakis from Dallas, Texas
15 August 2013

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Are you kidding me??? I mean seriously almost everything out of Hollywood lately seems to fall prey to the same qualities as this movie. Completely unbelievable, unrealistic, CGI overload, cheesy, and a horrible plot that absolutely insult's the intelligence of it's audience. If you are on drugs I'm sure you will like it because it's obvious the writers wrote this garbage stoned. This is the first time I have ever written review for any movie on this site which should tell you how tired I am of seeing the same junkie pathetic movies of late. I don't know the gentlemen that reviewed this movie from LA but I can't believe he gave this 10 stars. Must have been paid handsomely.... I wouldn't be surprised if this movie was written by the same writer as the Lone Ranger.......blah

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96 out of 152 people found the following review useful:

Maybe next time

Author: g-boyle3 from Ireland
31 July 2013

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I've wanted to see a wolverine movie that was fast paced, action packed, with a good storyline that would be well received by critics for the longest time. In my opinion wolverine is by far the most interesting of the x men characters. However this was not the wolverine I was waiting for. Yes it was action packed and I honestly enjoyed the fight scenes, but it was just shocking. This movie was flaw central. It saddens me to know that this was truly Hugh Jackmans last attempt at Wolverine, because we all know he's just too old for another attempt. And no one wants to see him as wolverine fighting off the bad guys at 45, it would be unbecoming. The characters in this story were ridiculous. I could tell from the moment they met that Wolverine was going to get with Mariko, but part of me just would not accept it, up until that fatal night when they kissed. A kiss which lacked any conviction or real passion, it was laughable. The oddest on screen couple I've seen since Matt Damon and Michael Douglas in Behind The Candelabra. They were painfully awkward. The arch villain serpant lady was atrocious. The ostentatious villain that we never even learn why or how she came about to work for Yashida with undiminishing loyalty, or what her general goal was. Yashida himself was a tedious villain and we didn't really here much about his life after Nagasaki. Mariko's father was a perpetual imbecile I could not fathom why he was even mentioned in the movie his character had no real significance. My favourite character had to have been Yuriko at least her motives were clear, Mariko was sort of a sister to her and it was obvious from the outset she wanted a slice of the wolverine pie. Now that couple would have at least been believable because she was bad ass and fearless. Her psychic powers were a bit ridiculous though she didn't really foresee anything worthwhile did she. The fight scenes were enjoyable though especially with the deadly ninja assassins creeping through the night, descending from rooftops and snapping necks like nobody's business. Yuriko was pretty sharp too, I was never really worried for her character, she could hold her own.... she had enough sass. It's a tragedy though I truly believe that Hugh Jackman was the perfect wolverine he just didn't get the movie he deserved. Well my advice is to wait a few years until the stench from this movie clears and then find a 20 year old Hugh Jackman doppelganger and create a Wolverine with some substance. It can't be that hard it has so much potential.

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69 out of 106 people found the following review useful:

Disappointing for a wolverine movie

Author: Abhinav G from India
9 August 2013

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I can'y start to explain how much disappointed I was after watching this movie. As many of the x-men fans I too like the Wolverine the most. Having said that and given how much exciting the trailer looked for this title, the movie to me was a big let down. Its slow moving, not as much action packed as I hoped it would be. And plot to me made no sense. {Spoiler Alert} I don't know if I got it wrong but in the movie it has been portrayed that removing adamantium from Wolverine's body deprives him of his healing power. WTF ? More so it has been depicted to give the grandpa his(wolverine's) healing powers ! utter bullshit. Wolverine(Logan) was known for his healing power and that was the reason striker chose him for injecting adamantium. Did i miss something there ? There wasn't a single scene in the movie that I wished I could watch again, which is generally not true for a Wolverine movie. Can't believe how Jackman agreed to do this movie.

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47 out of 66 people found the following review useful:

Not Worth my $8.50

Author: stationary315
20 August 2013

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

There were so many things wrong with this movie that I'm sure I'll forget something. First off, I'm a huge fan of the X-Men characters and story, that being said, this should NOT be included as a film in that series.

First off, WE GET IT. WOLVERINE DOES THE HEALING THING. CAN'T DIE. It is NOT necessary to stop all action every time he's injured, wait until he's done healing, and then continue fighting. It happens in every fight scene in this movie, which, by the way is all this movie is. There's a cute scene between him and Marikol (that later has NO significance WHATSOEVER), but besides that the whole movie seems to be fight scene after fight scene.

Also seemed to me that Wolverine had probably 20 too many "one liners", and while a few were pretty funny- not all 50 were. It would have been nice to have some real dialouge. It probably would have helped clear up all the confusion we experienced with the plot of the movie. On that note, I thought the X-Men franchise was supposed to be about MUTANTS. That's been the deal thus far, but this movie went political, brought a bunch of humans into it, and seemed to forget about the mutants. Are we living in a world where everyone is OK with mutants? Is this supposed to be before or after Logan's time at the school with Professor X? We don't know, because there is NO interaction with anyone except the main characters. (I would have much rather gone to a movie about Storm's history, or Professor X's history, OR EVEN JEANNE'S HISTORY, instead of ANOTHER one about Logan. One was perfect- this one was NOT.) And the whole scene at the beginning was pointless. WHy do we care that Logan is a mountain man who cares about bears and avenges their deaths? Was the poisoned arrow supposed to have a connection to the lizard girl? What's her deal? Where'd she come from? Why does she wear those ridiculous outfits? What was the point of the scene where she pulls her skin off? Although it was cool, I guess, it seemed to have no point- no reason to be in the movie. Maybe she's Mystique's sister...That would have made sense.

OH. And don't get me started on the logic of how the hell little old Logan is able to tackle the 2 story pure Adamantium robot powered by an almost dead jerk off who wants Logan's power. What's is deal anyway? Most guys would be thankful their life was saved ONCE... and not shoot for immortality. No one cares if you "aren't ready to die", you aren't a mutant, so get over it and leave Logan alone. . And at the end it is NOT clear in any way whether or not Logan can heal anymore. Did he magically get his power back and they just forgot to include that detail? Or were we supposed to gather that he can't heal anymore, since the weird Asian mutant is now his "bodyguard"? And what was the point of him "falling in love" with Marikol? He just leaves her.

Why did we find out about the true plot behind the ENTIRE movie 15 minutes before the screen went black and credits rolled?

Why was he shot in the back with 100 poisonous arrows, intending to keep him from breaking into the building, and then brought into the building..? And why did he fall face down in the snow like a penguin who waddled too fast? That was horrendus. He lost his bad-ass status with that move. How is it possible for him to be riding a motorcycle in the slippery snow? Why the hell is he wearing a wife beater tank top and a jacket in the snow? Why does the army of ninjas 1. wait to attack him until he's healed back up again, and 2. only come at him 1 by 1? Not very ninja-like.

What was the point of Marikol's friend in the movie? To predict the future that we NEVER saw come true accurately? She sucked. She was a terrible actress, and her hair was awful, and there was no point in her being there- there was no scene that portrayed to us any kind of real relationship she and Marikol had. But I guess she maybe does martial arts?

I've also caught myself wondering what the point of half of the movie was. Why couldn't we have found out about the bad grandfather and the ENTIRE PLOT OF THE MOVIE **BEFORE** IT ENDED. THAT WOULD HAVE HELPED MAKE IT A GOOD MOVIE. IT WOULD HAVE AT LEAST MADE SENSE.

While I can handle plot-inconsistencies, or stupid mistakes, or cheesy lines, I learned this evening that I cannot handle all of that in ONE movie. It's too much. To not have a clue what's going on, have to deal with crappy writing, and rookie mistakes is too much. There are so many more things I could rant about, but I doubt anyone made it to the end of this review at this point, so I'll end with that.

OH. And despite the terrible acting around him, the horrible one liners he had to deliver due to a terrible writer / director, Hugh Jackman did incredible well with the part, and his image in my mind remains untarnished. I was also impressed with Marikol's performance. Though she was a pretty shallow character, she really played her part well. Kudos to you two.

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51 out of 78 people found the following review useful:

Sooo disappointed...

Author: valhallex
10 August 2013

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I was really looking forward to see this movie, and had a feeling it was going to be just as good, or even better than some of the other movies in this genre that has been released lately. I loved Man of Steel, for example. The Wolverine starts off with some really boring sequences, but as a Wolverine/X-Men fan I really thought that soon I was going sit on the edge of my seat. The aggressive Wolverine is about to cut open some hillbilly bear hunters, because they have wounded a bear with a toxic dart. OK, I think, stupid reason to fight, but hey, let's just have fun and watch this piles of dirt get what they deserve from a real superhero! But a female ninja enters the bar, cuts a chair in half, slice the bottom of a beer-bottle with a magnificent sword, and ends it all before something happens for us to see.. So much for the action for the first half of the film. A viper-woman then drains Wolverine for his powers. When he gets his healing powers back(by pulling his own heart out - this is BTW a cool scene!!), he is beaten/sliced to pieces by a normal man who has trained karate! If he didn't have his healing power he would be dead by now. Really disappointing to see one of my favorite superheroes, the Wolverine, who stands up to Hulk in the cartoons, be sliced to pieces by a 50 year old man. So much for fighting skills and super strength..... Involved in this film is a great ninja clan. They forgot to rehearse hiding, so the main ninja unluckily sits on top of the roof where everyone can see him. Well, well. Ninjas can do a lot of other stuff. The movie is just a dull love story for much part. Really boring and stupid. In the final battle the villain in the form of a robot with a man inside(who is not tall enough to see over the robots neck), kick Wolverines ass. Luckily the lead ninja hits the robot with an arrow in the eye, and we can finish this movie off with some really stupid lines, before Wolverine takes off, leaving his woman behind.

This was such a bad movie that for the first time in my life I was considering leaving the theater. I regret that I didn't...

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202 out of 384 people found the following review useful:

Enjoyment will depend on familiarity.

Author: tdub154420 from United States
26 July 2013

First and foremost I must say that I absolutely loved this movie. But as I will cover in my review it may largely be due to the fact that I have always held the source material of this film in very high regard. Having said that, I do recognize that their may be a sliding scale of enjoyability for this film. If you are a fan of the 1983 Claremont/Miller miniseries of Wolverine then this is the movie you have been waiting for. If you are fond of the character Wolverine and interested into delving deeper into his chronology and exploring his inner conflicts, you will certainly enjoy this movie. If however, you have no familiarity, or no desire to familiarize with the character of Wolverine, you may find yourself not caring about many of the slower moments and longing for a more evenly paced action film.

Fans of Claremont's Wolverine rejoice, this Wolverine does it right. The film does its best keeping characters intact while deviating from the comics in the sake of a self contained story and grander character development. There are several of the shots in this film that are near recreations of the comic's original panels, and although story lines have been shifted and shuffled in some places, its all there. Mariko, Yukio, Harada, Shingen and Viper may develop differently than in the comic series, but their relation to each other and contextual significance is intact. As a Wolverine fan it was also nice to see a meaningful relationship blossom between Wolverine and Mariko, unlike the comics where it really is love at first sight. Instead here Wolverine falls in love not entirely with the character of Mariko, but rather with the idea of being a protector, a take that is a welcome addition to the Claremont storyline. The characters of Silver Samurai and Viper undergo the largest facelift in this film, but it isn't entirely out of place. Let us not forget they were involved in the X Men issues directly connecting to the Wolverine miniseries. Although their characters have undertaken slight adjustments in order to incorporate ideas from the Fatal Attractions storyline, the plot does well to take from Wolverine's side of this storyline because it was one of the few times in the series where Logan did feel vulnerable. Many fans will recognize that the plot device and character of Master Yashida cannot be found in any of the original comics, but one must keep in mind it serves as a useful device to connect all the developments of Logan's journey. All in all I think its the best character study of Wolverine that any fan could ask for. Wolverine struggles with his animalistic urges and his commitment to reform, he grapples to find meaning in his endless immortality, and he ultimately finds purpose and resolution that he had not before. None of these developments are significantly or profoundly discovered, rather they are slowly revealed, which may turn casual movie goers off from enjoying this film. As a thoughtful exploration of Wolverine's character and a grand homage to incredible source material though, how can any Wolverine fan say no to this movie? It is the best X-Men movie and one of the best comic based movies.

For those who would not consider themselves fans, but are rather moviegoers intent on enjoying a superhero epic, be warned. This film is a character study, it does not grapple with any conflicts outside of Wolverine's internal struggles. The world is not being threatened, and not many lives outside of Logan's are even being threatened, so the storyline does not crescendo in epic suspense like the Avengers or the Dark Knight. So for those not invested in Wolverine's personal self discovery, some of the action can seem unmotivated and the pacing an obstacle to satisfaction. The film does its job in providing action sequences, but it intersperses several moments of symbolic soul searching, cryptic metaphors and relationship building that serve as pavement for Wolverine's self discovery. This movie can still be enjoyable without interest in Wolverine's inner conflicts however. With an outstanding supporting cast, a beautiful setting, and gripping and intense action sequences, it plays a lot like a token Bond film for those unfamiliar with Wolverine.

Whether you are familiar with the original comics or not, this movie will certainly provide entertaining thrills and intriguing themes. If, however, you are a fan of the original comic books, this film is a wonderful achievement.

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