In this spin on the fairy tale, Hansel & Gretel are now bounty hunters who track and kill witches all over the world. As the fabled Blood Moon approaches, the siblings encounter a new form of evil that might hold a secret to their past.
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A weak con man panics when he learns he's going to prison for fraud. He hires a mysterious martial arts guru who helps transform him into a martial arts expert who can fight off inmates who want to hurt or love him.
Director:
Rob Schneider
Stars:
Rob Schneider,
David Carradine,
Jennifer Morrison
Unlucky, clumsy, charming Marseile PD detective Émilien Coutant-Kerbalec must assist worse-then-Clouseau commissioner Gibert guarding a Belgian criminal reputed as dangerous as - and caged ... See full summary »
Director:
Gérard Krawczyk
Stars:
Samy Naceri,
Frédéric Diefenthal,
Bernard Farcy
A high school biology teacher looks to become a successful mixed-martial arts fighter in an effort to raise money to prevent extra-curricular activities from being axed at his cash-strapped school.
Ex-special operative MacGruber is called back into action to take down his archenemy, Dieter Von Cunth, who's in possession of a nuclear warhead and bent on destroying Washington, D.C.
A young martial artist is caught between respecting his pacifist father's wishes or stopping a group of disrespectful foreigners from stealing precious artifacts.
When a sexy, high-end escort holds the key evidence to a scandalous government cover-up, two bumbling young detectives become her unlikely protectors from a ruthless assassin hired to silence her.
The siblings Hansel and Gretel are left alone in the woods by their father and captured by a dark witch in a candy house. However they kill the witch and escape from the spot. Years later, the orphans have become famous witch hunters. When eleven children go missing in a small village, the Major summons Hansel and Gretel to rescue them, and they save the red haired Mina from the local sheriff that wants to burn her accusing Mina of witchcraft. Soon they discover that the Blood Moon will approach in three days and the powerful dark witch Muriel is the responsible for the abduction of children. She intends to use the children together with a secret ingredient in a Sabbath to make the coven of witches protected against the fire. Meanwhile Hansel and Gretel disclose secrets about their parents. Written by
Claudio Carvalho, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
In the movie, Hansel is diabetic as a result of his experience in the gingerbread house as a child. In the original script, Gretel was also supposed to have an eating disorder as a result of her childhood trauma, but it was cut from the final version. See more »
Goofs
When Hansel and Gretel first arrive at the candy witch's lair as children, Gretel pulls off the end of one of the icing icicles to eat it. In the next few shots, the icicle is shown as intact when it should have a blunted end. See more »
Quotes
Gretel:
The Curse of Hunger for Crawling Things. I fucking hate that one.
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This is not a quality film and I don't think they even meant it to be good or memorable. If you watched the trailers and *didn't* expect it to be terrible, I'd be very, very surprised. I would never have paid to see this. I only saw it because I got passes to a free advance screening. And it was just as ridiculous as I expected - and I was pretty entertained. We were laughing pretty hard the whole time.
The movie wasn't trying to have a good plot or a surprise twist. Clocking in at a little over an hour, it could have been season finale of a B-grade TV series of the same premise. I think movie was just trying to be funny, and I think their jokes worked. Like how Hansel has a "medical condition" (not spoiling it here). It doesn't work in a physiological sense - but who cares? It was really funny that they even made that connection!
There was an incredible amount of gore in this movie; but I suppose that itself was a joke, given the premise of the movie. Their other jokes relied on anachronisms (weapons, fanboys, crime investigations). But they were careful enough that the anachronisms were funny in the context of the world-building instead of being glaring anomalies.
There might be some people complaining about what an inadequate film this was with respect to plot, but that would be missing the point. Don't watch this expecting to take away anything - it's really only just for the lawls.
55 of 88 people found this review helpful.
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This is not a quality film and I don't think they even meant it to be good or memorable. If you watched the trailers and *didn't* expect it to be terrible, I'd be very, very surprised. I would never have paid to see this. I only saw it because I got passes to a free advance screening. And it was just as ridiculous as I expected - and I was pretty entertained. We were laughing pretty hard the whole time.
The movie wasn't trying to have a good plot or a surprise twist. Clocking in at a little over an hour, it could have been season finale of a B-grade TV series of the same premise. I think movie was just trying to be funny, and I think their jokes worked. Like how Hansel has a "medical condition" (not spoiling it here). It doesn't work in a physiological sense - but who cares? It was really funny that they even made that connection!
There was an incredible amount of gore in this movie; but I suppose that itself was a joke, given the premise of the movie. Their other jokes relied on anachronisms (weapons, fanboys, crime investigations). But they were careful enough that the anachronisms were funny in the context of the world-building instead of being glaring anomalies.
There might be some people complaining about what an inadequate film this was with respect to plot, but that would be missing the point. Don't watch this expecting to take away anything - it's really only just for the lawls.