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BearCity (2010) Poster

(2010)

Quotes

Carlos: [putting ice on Michael's knee and trying to make up with him] You have to take care of this knee, gordito. How's that feel?

Michael: Much better now.

Carlos: I love you Michael.

Michael: I love you too, osito.

Carlos: And I wanna be with you at the hospital when you go.

Michael: Really?

Carlos: I would be lucky to be by your side.

Michael: Thank you. That won't be necessary.

Carlos: Why, gordito? Please.

Michael: Carlos, I'm not going to have the surgery.

Carlos: Really?

Michael: Really.

Carlos: [relieved] Oh my god! When did you decide this?

Michael: [breaking down into happy tears] When you put the ice on my knee.

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Bar patron: [hitting on Michael in front of Carlos] Hey baby.

Carlos: Hey don't squeeze the Charmin, papa, ok?

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Fred: [after he let an attraction to Tyler slip] I'm sorry, Brent. It just happened.

Brent: I know. I saw it, do you think I'm stupid?

Fred: No, I don't. I was stoned.

Brent: Oh, what's fucking new?

Fred: Why didn't you say something?

Brent: What am I supposed to say, Fred? 'Tyler, can you please get your taint out of my husband's face?

Fred: Fuck, I can't believe I did that.

Brent: I can't believe you did it after we just talked about how you're okay with not doing it.

Fred: That was the truth. I wasn't looking to open the relationship.

Brent: Then what were you looking for in the crack of his ass?

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Simon: [in line waiting to enter the bear run] Grr.

Tyler: What are you doing?

Simon: Getting my bear on.

Tyler: Simon, don't embarrass me.

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Polar Bear: Can I get some service over here?

Brent: Shut up, ya polar Bear!

[to Tyler]

Brent: I better go tend to her before she goes extinct.

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Bear Cafe patron: Hey, is anybody working here?

Brent: Shut the fuck up, Mary, don't get your panties in a bunch!

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Michael: [Roger diplayed the set of sounds he just bought] Please tell me those are metal chopsticks.

Fred: Well, they could be used on Chinese, just not the food per se.

Brent: You know what those are?

Fred: Yeah.

Brent: [to Michael] Do you know what those are?

Michael: They ain't for knittin'!

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Brent: [during a discussion about opening up their relationship] My mother says if you say something once, that you probably thought it twice.

Fred: Which is complete bullshit.

Brent: You calling my mother a liar?

Fred: I have a few choice adjectives if you're asking. Sweetheart, you know I love your mother. Could we leave her out of this conversation, please?

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Tyler: Seriously, Brent, thank you, very much. It's really appreciated, I need this job.

Brent: Oh, well, the job sucks. Don't worry about that. But the eye candy is compensation.

Tyler: I'll say.

[eyeing a redhaired leather bear]

Tyler: Hard candy by the looks of this.

Brent: No, no, that's Robbie. We call her Ruby because of the slippers that will fall out of her mouth when she speaks.

Drag Queen: Hey Luvah!

Robbie: [effeminately] Girl! Honey, you look fabulous! Do a little twirl, so I can take a look atcha!

Tyler: Can I have a search party sent out for the hard on that I just lost?

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Roger: [Carlos just revealed Michael's plans for lapband surgery] Carlos, shut the fuck up!

Carlos: So of course you know. You can't tell me that you, of all people, approve of this.

Roger: No, I don't. But it's not my decision, nor is it yours.

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Simon: [Tyler and Simon hadn't seen each other for a bit] Notice anything different?

Tyler: You're now part of the rhythm nation?

Simon: Hello! I lost five whole pounds? Thought I'd have you drooling by now.

Tyler: Actually, gaining ten would probably put you in the right direction.

Simon: What, you mean you want me to have a roll?

Tyler: Twenty pounds.

Simon: A muffin top?

Tyler: Thirty.

Simon: Are you suggesting... I mean, a whole belly?

Tyler: Yeah. Throw in some hair on that belly and I think we're talking perfection.

Simon: What happened to you? Were you dropped on your head as a child?

Tyler: God, Simon, please don't ever change. Scratch that. Mature, but please don't ever change.

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Simon: [Tyler walked in on Simon dancing to Dance Dance Revolution] Shit Tyler, you scared the hell out of me. Haven't you ever heard of knocking?

Tyler: [laughing] Oh God, you are officially whatever the PC term is for retarded.

Simon: Hand me those shorts

[Tyler tosses them to him]

Simon: Hey, it's my cardio, okay? Gym memberships cost a fortune in this city.

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Ted: [seeing the 7-10 split Tyler has to spare] Whoa snake eyes! Someone's fucked without spit!

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Ted: Looks to me if the kid makes this spare, he could take you. Ten bucks says the kid makes the impossible shot and kicks your ass!

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Roger: You remember Tyler?

Ted: Yeah, I lost ten bucks on the kid. So, what are ya, babysitting?

Roger: Tyler and I are together, so just watch the fucking attitude!

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Michael: Carlos, I think I'm gonna have the surgery.

Carlos: [not impressed] So you're getting your stomach stapled?

Michael: They don't staple the stomach anymore. They use a rubber band, a lapband they call it. I know you wouldn't understand.

Carlos: Of course I don't understand. That kind of procedure is for people with health problems. Health problems, Michael, not self worth problems!

Michael: Carlos, I need a job!

Carlos: Oh, and you think being thin is going to magically make you employable?

Michael: [almost in tears] I think you need to stay at your apartment tonight!

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Carlos: Michael, I look at you and I see how beautiful you are. Inside and out.

Michael: I better see the inside out of this shirt, at the foot of my bed, in about forty seconds.

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Roger: If I think I'm an asshole, I imagine the feeling is mutual.

Tyler: When are you going to stop caring about what other people think?

Roger: Kid, what other people think is all I see.

Tyler: Then close your eyes for once.

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Michael: How long have we been friends?

Roger: That would be since the Mesozoic era.

Michael: Uh uh. When Pangea broke apart, and I've never seen you act like this. I think you have feelings for someone, but it ain't the Spaniard.

Roger: Michael, please don't psychoanalyze me.

Michael: Hey, I am your oldest friend. If I don't psychoanalyze you, who's gonna do it?

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Simon: [after trying Randy's "dirty jock" shot] What the hell was that?

Brent: Awful.

Fred: That was Randy's dirty jock.

Tyler: Yeah, tastes like it.

Randy: Fuck you bitches. Die of thirst!

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Roger: [after Simon interrupts them at a tender moment] Please tell me you know this child.

Tyler: No, I can't say that I do. Feel free to kill him.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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