Daniel Martin: [Simon opens the door to his room] Hi Simon. Wanna hear a joke?
Simon Ferguson: Do I have a choice?
Daniel Martin: Knock knock.
Simon Ferguson: Knock knock.
Daniel Martin: Huh?
Simon Ferguson: Goodbye!
[shuts the door]
Simon Ferguson: I first made these effective little potables in Cairo with Adrienne Barbeau on the set of 'Tit for Tut'.
Kate: Once I stopped partying on Saturday nights I discovered this wonderful thing: it's called 'Sunday'.
Simon Ferguson: Peddling jam at a swap meet? Kate, you need this drink worse than I thought.
Kate: [Kate finds out she's been acting like an exotic dancer while drunk] This is so humiliating...
Simon Ferguson: Kate, relax.
Kate: I only made 9 dollars.
Kate: [referring to Simon's character demise on Days To Remember] Torn apart by wild monkeys. I guess they beat me to it.