The Doctor: Even if I change it still feels like dying. Everything I am dies. Some new man goes sauntering away... and I'm dead.
The Doctor: I'm going to die.
Wilfred Mott: Well, so am I one day.
The Doctor: Don't you dare!
Wilfred Mott: Alright, I'll try not to.
The Doctor: [Noticing Wilfred looking around the TARDIS] Ah. Right. Yes. Bigger on the inside. Do you like it?
Wilfred Mott: I thought it'd be cleaner.
The Doctor: Cleaner? I can take you back home right now!
Wilfred Mott: Have you got anyone?
The Doctor: No. Traveling alone. I thought it was better, I thought... but I did some things, they went wrong... I need
Sylvia Noble: Stay right where you are!
The Doctor: You can't come with me
Wilfred Mott: Well, you're not leaving me with her
Sylvia Noble: DAD!
The Doctor: Fair Enough
The Doctor: Ah! Now. Sorry. There you are. So, where were we? I was summoned, wasn't I. An Ood in the snow, calling to me. Well, I didn't exactly come straight here; had a bit of fun y'know: traveled about, did this and that, got into trouble, you know me. It was brilliant! I saw the phosphorous carousel of the great Mingelinga Stat, saved a planet from the red carnivorous mor, named a galaxy Alison. Got married! That was a mistake. Good Queen Bess. And let me tell you, her nickname is no longer... mmm. Anyway, what do you want?
Ood Sigma: You should not have delayed.
The Doctor: Last time I was here you said my song would be ending soon, and I'm in no hurry for that.
Ood Sigma: You will come with me.
The Doctor: Hold on, better lock the TARDIS.
[the Doctor holds up the TARDIS key, points it at the TARDIS, and gives it a squeeze. The TARDIS light flashes as it makes a "chirp chirp" noise, followed by the sound of a lock engaging]
The Doctor: See? Like a car. I l-locked it like a car. That's... funny. No? Little bit? *pbbbt* Blimey, try to make an Ood laugh.
The Narrator: And so it came to pass, on Christmas Day, that the human race did cease to exist. But even then, the Master had no concept of his greater role in events. For this was far more than humanity's end. This day was the day upon which the whole of creation would change forever. This was the day the Time Lords returned. For Gallifrey.
Time Lords: For Gallifrey!
The Narrator: [with spittle] For victory!
Time Lords: For victory!
The Narrator: For the end of time itself!
Time Lords: For the end of time itself!
Wilfred Mott: You're so clever, can't you bring her memory back? Just go to her now, go on, just run across the street, go up and say hello!
The Doctor: If she ever remembers me her mind will burn and she will die!
Donna Noble: [to meter maid outside] Don't you touch this car!
The Doctor: [laughing] She's not changed.
The Doctor: [referring to Donna and Shawn] She's got him.
Wilfred Mott: She's making do.
The Doctor: Aren't we all.
Wilfred Mott: Yeah, how 'bout you? Who have you got now?
The Doctor: No-one. Traveling alone. I thought it would be better, I thought... But I did some things that went wrong. I need...
[nearly breaks down]
Wilfred Mott: Oh my word.
The Doctor: [pulls himself together] Merry Christmas.
Wilfred Mott: Yeah, and you.
Wilfred Mott: What is it? What have you done, you monster?
The Master: Oh, I'm sorry, are you talking to me?
The Master: Or to me?
The Master: Or to me?
The Master: Or to me?
[as three guards]
The Master: Or to us?
[as Trinity Wells]
The Master: Breaking News: I'm Everyone, And Everyone In The World Is Me!
[as President Barack Obama]
The Master: I'm President! President of the United States! Look at me!
[the press pool, full of Masters, some of them cross-dressers, applaud heartily]
The Master: Oh! Financial solution... DELETED!
The Original Master: The human race was always your favourite, Doctor. But now, there is no human race. There is only... the Master race!
[the Doctor watches helpless as the Master laughs. The whole of humanity, transformed into clones of the Master, laugh with him]
The Master: [as President Obama] I'm President! President of the United States! Oh, wait, I've got it! Financial solution!
[Puts his hands to his head]
The Master: Deleted!
[Several other Masters in the audience stand up and clap]
The Woman: It's said a demon fell from the sky. Then a man appeared, a man in a blue box. The called him the 'Sainted Physician'. He smote the demon and then disappeared.
Wilfred Mott: There's a bit of a coincidence.
The Woman: It's said there's no such thing as coincidence. Who knows? Perhaps he's coming back.
Wilfred Mott: Oh, that would make my Christmas.