In the long ago Maconian empire Krod Mandoon is young, handsome, brave - and very clumsy. (His name is Dork spelt backwards, after all.) With his band of freedom fighters, lusty pagan girlfriend Aneka, devoted ex-slave Loquasto and Zezelryck, a fake sorcerer who talks like the donkey in 'Shrek' he is on a mission to free his mentor General Arcadius. Arcadius has been imprisoned by evil chancellor Dongalor who kills his counsellors for criticizing his trousers and possesses a weapon of mass destruction - which he will activate if he can translate its runic instructions. After a tavern brawl with hostile Myrmidons Krod's group obtain the keys to the dungeons,due to Aneka's sexual wiles rather than any martial skills, and free the General, his camp boyfriend Bruce and other political prisoners. However, the General takes an arrow (or several) intended for Krod and, dying, tells his young disciple that he is now the chosen one who can rid the empire of the evil chancellor. Dongalor ... Written by
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[General Arcadius has been hit by an arrow and is being cradled in Krod's arms
Hang in there sir. You, you're going to be ok.
He's as good as dead Mandoon and so is your pathetic resistance.
Hah, it will take more than one arrow to kill the greatest General that ever lived.
[Several more arrows are fired in to General Arcadius's body and an axe smashes in to his head and bounces off
That will probably do it, though.