Voice at Playboy Mansion: [Through an intercom] Listen, this is the Playboy Mansion, not a hotel.
E.B.: [Looking into a map] I know, but it says 'Since 1971 the Playboy Mansion has been home to many sexy bunnies.'
Voice at Playboy Mansion: I can't even see you. Step closer.
E.B.: [Stepping closer, face still in map] I'm just saying, I am a bunny and am incredibly sexy.
Voice at Playboy Mansion: I don't have time for this.
[Clicks intercom off]
E.B.: Hello? Hello? Ugh, this must the rags part of my rags-to-riches story.
Mrs. Beck: You're writing a novel? What's that about?
Fred O'Hare: It's, ah, it's about a crippled soldier, who in the future goes to another planet, and becomes one of the indigenous people who, ah, are blue, and live in a forest.
Mrs. Beck: That's not 'Avatar?'
E.B.: Hey, wait. You're not surprised I'm a talking rabbit.
David Hasselhoff: Little man, my best friend is a talking car.
E.B.: Fred, I think you and I got off on the wrong foot. You said some things, I flooded some things. Let's start over, okay?
E.B.: [after Fred talks to a Chinese Woman] What'd she say? Was it about me?
Fred O'Hare: She thinks Easter is cool. Talking rabbits freaks her out.
Fred O'Hare: Okay, if this job interview is so important to you, I'll swing by.
Sam O'Hare: No, Fred, you don't swing by. You shower, you shave, and you show up. The three 'Sh's!'
E.B.: Look, Dad. Ahem. Ever since I was yea big, it's been, "The Easter Bunny wouldn't do that" and "The Easter Bunny has to be perfect." But... Ha! I'm not perfect!
E.B.'s Dad: I know that, Son. But you'll get there, eventually.
E.B.: But I'm... Listen. You want me to be this. But maybe I'm not this. Just maybe, maybe I'm this.
E.B.'s Dad: A sock?
E.B.: Yeah, that's right. I might be a metaphorical sock. I might not be a good enough egg, but I might be the best sock ever! I might not cut it delivering Easter baskets, but I might be great at something else.
E.B.'s Dad: Oh, the drums. Why, I think that's fine!
Fred O'Hare: Can I get a little clarification, here? Is this what the Easter Bunny does now? He just goes house to house, messing up people's lives?
E.B.: Well, that's just hurtful. Besides, you're selling yourself short. They were going to shove you in the mail room. Well, excuse me, but I happen to think you're better than that.
Fred O'Hare: You don't Know me, okay? We just met.
E.B.: I can tell. You give off this aura of untapped potential.
Fred O'Hare: I do? Now, don't pull that with me, rabbit, okay? I'm too smart for you.
E.B.: But, Fred, I'm serious! You're destined to do something great. I just know it!
Fred O'Hare: I've heard that one before.
E.B.: You'll find an awesome job.
[E.B. grabs a magazine]
E.B.: Hey. Look, what about this? Dog walker?
Fred O'Hare: No.
E.B.: TSA Officer?
Fred O'Hare: No.
E.B.: What about this one? It looks exciting. Wind in your hair, hot babe on your arm.
Fred O'Hare: That's a car ad.
E.B.: You should buy that car, then.