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See that $20 bill in your wallet? Wipe your ass with it instead of
paying to see this movie. You will receive more amusement watching a
feces-stained Jackson swirl around the bowl than watching this
gross-out piece of water buffalo diarrhea.
Not even an immature 13 year old will find this film amusing. It uses the same three jokes the entire movie: Bucky has buck teeth, he shoots semen at the mere sight of a naked girl, and he has a tiny penis covered with a bush of hair. Boom, that's it. That's the movie.
Game over man, game over.
If I could give this film zero stars, I would. Not even Stephen Dorff can save this penguin excrement.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
How does a movie like Bucky Larson get made? Here is a movie that
appeals to no audience I can think of, and yet it is playing on
thousands of screens. The only logical explanation I can come to for
this movie's existence is that Mr. Sandler has some very incriminating
photos of someone at Columbia Pictures.
Our title hero, Bucky (played by comedian Nick Swardson), is a dweeb. Not a funny one, or a likable one, but a pathetic dweeb who seems to live in his own world. Bucky hails from a small Midwest farm town, where he works as a bag boy at a grocery store, until he's fired about two minutes after the opening movie credits. He goes to a friend's house, where they decide to cheer him up by showing him a classic porno film starring a pair of legendary porn stars named Rosie Bush and Jim Spraysium. Seconds into watching the film, Bucky recognizes the stars as being his parents. Rather than be horrified, he is entranced by the idea that his parents were once in movies. It's at that moment he decides that it's his destiny to be a star as well, and decides to head to California and make it in "nude movies".
Bucky arrives in Hollywood with big dreams, but seemingly little common sense, as when he auditions for a mac and cheese commercial, and immediately drops his pants and starts jerking off in front of the horrified director and casting crew. Fortunately, the director on the commercial shoot used to work in the porn business, and directs Bucky to someone who can help him. The first person Bucky meets is the porn star Dick Shadow (Stephen Dorff), who is currently the biggest thing in the movies (in more ways than one), and immediately shuns him. He's later introduced to Miles Deep (Don Johnson, looking particularly embarrassed here), a down on his luck porn director who is so desperate to make a movie, he's even willing to give Bucky a shot. The audition does not go well, as when Bucky drops his pants, his "manhood" is revealed to be literally microscopic. He also has a tendency to start screeching like a monkey whenever he sees a woman take her shirt off, and starts shooting off blasts of his "man juice" like a shotgun all over the room and ceiling.
Let me stop this plot synopsis, and ask a simple question - Does this sound like a movie you would want to see? Does it even sound like a movie to begin with? I find myself returning to my original question, how does a movie like Bucky Larson get made? It holds absolutely no laughs, its lead character is an unlikable schmuck with an overbite and not a shred of knowledge of how to behave in social situations, and there's literally no plot to speak of. Just one situation after another for Bucky to humiliate himself. As the movie dragged on for nearly 100 interminable minutes, I came to realize that the entire screenplay revolves around three basic jokes. 1:) Bucky has buck teeth and talks funny. 2:) Bucky has a small dick. 3:) Bucky orgasms instantly every time he sees a woman take her shirt off. The movie repeats these same jokes many times, as if it thinks if it repeats them enough, it will wear down our defenses, and we'll eventually start laughing.
Back to the plot - Bucky's disastrous audition winds up on the Internet, and becomes a sensation. This inspires Miles Deep to give the guy another chance, and come up with a new form of porn that is non-threatening to guys (because they know they're better than Bucky), and is reassuring to women, since they know they are sleeping with a better guy than Bucky. Somehow, this idea takes off, and Bucky becomes a major star in the porn industry. He even sweeps the porn film awards, which is hosted by Pauly Shore, who plays himself in a cameo. It also means that this is probably the worst movie Pauly Shore has ever appeared in. (And no, I'm not forgetting BioDome.) While all this is happening, Bucky also strikes up a relationship with a sweet young waitress named Kathy (Christina Ricci). Kathy seems like a bright young woman, and Ricci plays her with charm. So, why is she hanging around Bucky to begin with?
Looking back over my review, I see that I have left very little out. This literally is all there is to the movie. There's no real conflict, other than a very halfhearted falling out between Bucky and Kathy that exists solely because the movie was nearly 90 minutes old, and nothing had really happened so far. This is nothing more than a story of an insufferable schmuck who goes to Hollywood, gets a job in porn, and falls in love with a nice girl. That's all. There's a hint of a subplot concerning the jealous porn star, Dick Shadow, trying to ruin Bucky's career. But this is so unmemorable, it could be cut from the film without anyone noticing. Why did it take three people to write a movie where virtually nothing happens? A movie that's quite clearly dead.
Yes, Bucky Larson is a dead movie. It shows no signs of life or inspiration. It doesn't even have the decency to be a lively or memorable bad movie. It just sort of lies there, not doing anything, and then asks us to leave 100 minutes later. Those who know me know that I never wish ill will upon anyone, but I seriously think that a movie like this could end careers. I hope that doesn't happen. I'm sure Nick Swardson is a nice and funny guy in real life. I'm also sure he'll be apologizing for this one for a long time to come.
There is very little to say about Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star other
than "I hated it ... I hated ALL of it!" The film is not funny and it
I cannot criticize it for being about porn because Boogie Nights was exclusively about the world of porn and I think it was one of the BEST film of the 1990's. Boogie Nights treated its characters as flawed human beings searching for acceptance and a feeling of belonging -- Bucky Larson's characters are all supposed to be laughed at and there are just too many times throughout the movie which had me wanting to rush to the bathroom to vomit as 89% of the film is stomach-churning.
This should pretty-much END the career of anybody involved and I am actually surprised that Adam Sandler's name is attached as both a writer and a producer of this trash (Sandler also gave us Jack and Jill and Just Go With It this year -- the latter film is only saved b/c of the over-the-top performance of the unlikely physical comedienne Nicole Kidman -- so I question whether or not his days are numbered?).
An unfunny-to-me Nick Swardson (Just Go With It, 30 Minutes or Less, Blades of Glory) -- who's career is mostly stand-up comedy -- stars as the grotesquely buck-toothed Bucky Larson (who must've been born with buck-teeth?) who believes he is destined for a glorious career in porn after discovering his parents were au natural (meaning: unshaven, un-waxed, un-spray-tanned, un-fit etc) porn stars of the 1970's. Bucky leaves behind an insulting-to-mid-westerners existence in Iowa (only found in the movies -- he didn't attend high school because his town didn't have one ... whatever), the RIDICULOUSLY-accented Bucky (that is NOT an Iowa accent ... but let's throw-out another stupid laugh at the expense of the heartland) heads to LA where his dreams can come true.
Bucky luckily meets a nice, big-hearted waitress (Christina Ricci - Sleepy Hollow, Penelope, Monster ... and after this is it any wonder she seeked out employment on television as Pan-Am is Oscar-caliber compared to this!) at a random diner who befriends him, finds him a place to live (with crazy-jerk roommate Kevin Nealon - "SNL", "Weeds", Just Go With It) and sets him in the right direction of finding work. Don Johnson (Tin Cup, Machete ... who's short-lived career rebirth must be over) is porn director Miles Deep who sees something "special" in Bucky and decides to exploit the freak (it's explained in the film ... but I don't recommend watching this to figure out the "freak-tag" that has NOTHING to do with his teeth!) and Stephen Dorff (who's stellar "comeback" with the excellent film Somewhere must have been a fluke!!) plays a jealous porn-star rival.
As vulgar and repulsive as this film is, there is surprisingly little flesh on display. It would be difficult to pick-out the worst part of this film as that would pretty-much be the whole thing. Just as impossible would be finding "the best" part. This film isn't bad because it is offensive -- we've had Bridesmaids and two Hangover films -- it is just terrible bad. What works with those 3 films is that they are "equal-opportunity offenders" ... this one -- NOT so much. It is rank and rancid and beyond mere words for criticism. I NEVER want to see something like this again.
I like Nick Swardson. His show "Pretend time" on Comedy Central is
hilarious and he's usually good in supporting roles ("Grandma's boy" &
"Just go with it"). But wow, did this movie suck. "Bucky Larson" is
flat. The jokes aren't funny and the acting for the most part is
uninspired. Don Johnson was the highlight of the film and Christina
Ricci did what she could but there are no redeeming qualities in this
I went in with low expectations because of the bad reviews and word of mouth, and yet I was still disappointed. This film deserves to be in the bottom 250 on IMDb. With the talent that was involved in the project and the premise of a porn comedy, "Bucky Larson" should have been funny. But instead I found myself wishing it was never made. I feel sorry for the chumps who paid $10 to see this garbage in theaters.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
...And not in a good way! I love movies, regardless of its age or
genre. I love comedies and admire those with inspiration. When I saw
Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star out of curiosity- though I did have
reservations about seeing it starting with the trailer and Adam Sandler
co-penning the script- online, I found next to nothing to love or
admire about it.
The film looks cheap for starters, more in the slapdash editing and cinematography and dull lighting than the scenery. The soundtrack didn't have anything I'd deem memorable. Then there is the direction. Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star has some of the worst direction I have seen in a movie in quite a while, as all the basic tools of direction like camera placement and continuity Brady seems to be ignoring here.
Story-wise this just didn't engage. Some might say it is a predictable movie, in many ways yes it is. A movie that is predictable isn't bad as such, but for me it is when the film in question is not at all inspiring and just doesn't have any point to it. That for me is the case with Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star. Even worse is the writing, which is horrendous. It is not funny at all, just dumb, puerile and irritating, with no heart whatsoever.
When it comes to the pace, the film has no life to it, because the dialogue and jokes are so bad(seriously the penis that was so small you could use a straw for a condom idea was incredibly stupid) and no effort is made in regards to the characters, who are little more than stiff caricatures at best. The acting is really poor, Nicky Swardson is just annoying and abrasive while Christina Ricci who I like actually is cute but bland. In fact only Don Johnson actually tries to do anything fresh with his character. As for comic timing, in regard to this film, why bother really, most of it is basically saying a line and standing around aimlessly waiting for someone to say their bit.
Overall, irritating, woefully directed and pointless. Of a very hit-and-miss year so far, I think I now have my new contender for the worst of the bunch. 0/10 Bethany Cox
I really can't understand why there is so much animosity towards this movie and in particular, towards Adam Sandler. This film isn't art. It isn't subtle. It wraps it's humour around a brick and smashes you in the head with it repeatedly. But that's what I expected. I watched this film because I wanted a laugh. And I got that. There are some genuine laugh out loud moments in this movie IF it's your sense of humour. If it isn't, then why are you watching it? Sandler isn't exactly world renowned for his subtlety or his sensitive handling of subject matter. He has a team of friends around him who obviously get together over a few drinks and spin out some ideas that make them laugh. I like that about him. And I always get the impression that everybody making one of his movies has a real laugh doing it. And that's what I'm after when I'm watching one. Honestly, some people on here need to have a good look at themselves and wonder exactly why it is they are watching movies they know they aren't going to like. I for one hope he keeps churning them out because when I have a bit of time to kill, I can think of worse ways to do that than watching one of Adam Sandler's movies.
When I first went to see this movie I had rather low expectations, I
thought this would be something fun to pass the time with, nothing
I have seen some bad movies in my life but I can safely say that this is one of the worst movies (if not the single worst one) I've ever seen. The jokes were really stale, and they somehow managed to move things really fast but in a long and boring way.
This was one and a half hour of pure torture and I do not recommend it, not one bit. I rarely make a review for a movie and even more rarely do I give only one star, but this film deserved it. Just don't waste your time on it.
Awful. Dreadful. Total waste of time and film. Do not see this movie. I work in a movie theater so I get to (have to) watch EVERY movie that comes out, and this is without a doubt the absolute worst movie I have seen in a long long long time. I could not find even one redeeming quality in this movie. This film should be the death-knell of not only Nick Swardson's entire career, but Adam Sandler's "Happy Madison" production company should be banned from making any more movies until Sandler publicly apologizes for this horrible horrible waste of film. The dialogue sounds like it was written by three horny middle-school boys, the acting was strained and half-hearted, the plot was spoon-fed predictable. Some movies are "so bad they're good." This isn't one of those movies. This movie is just bad. Worse. Worst.
"Bucky Larson: Born To Be A Star" bombed big time when it was released
to theaters. It may have been because it was released in the beginning
of September, when there are few people going to movie theaters. It may
have been because the movie is about the porn industry, which has never
been a popular movie topic for mainstream moviegoers. It may have also
been because the relentless television commercials for the movie were
very annoying. But I think the main reason why it bombed was that the
audience smelled it for the stinker that it was. There are no laughs
anywhere to be found in the movie, for one thing. But it also has a
weird tone, like it was written by a dirty-minded and mean-spirited
eight year old. It's not very audience-friendly, to put it mildly. The
cast is spirited, but they can do absolutely nothing with the terrible
Oh, one more piece of evidence for its badness: The end credits for this 2011 release list a 2010 copyright, suggesting that Columbia Pictures didn't know what to do with the movie for quite some time.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
I'm totally confused. I'm completely lost. Did the world famous "Jack
and Jill" (co-writer) Adam Sandler and Going-Nowhere-Fast Nick Swardson
INTENTIONALLY set out to make the world's worst comedy?
Seriously. Think about it. The horribly clichéd and unoriginal Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star was so god-awful and incredibly offensive with its decades-old bad stereotypes it was flat-out unfunny. In fact, if you dare, watch it with the sound off and turn on the 24/7 Comedy IHEARTRADIO Station. At least you'll laugh for 90 minutes. It may even coincide with the scenes on the screen.
I used to like Swardson, especially as Terry on Reno 911! But, damn, ever since then Just Go With It, 30: Minutes or Less, Jack and Jill c'mon now. Enough is enough. I understand most of his "appearances" take place because he's in bed with Adam Sandler and it's no secret I loathe that whiney little man, but this feature length, his first, I believe, is just a tragedy. That all said, the worst offender was Christina Ricci. YOU'RE BETTER THAN THIS AND YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!
Ah-hem, I'm calm now. Where was I? Bucky is a buck-toothed (ha, get it? Really?) son of two 70s porn stars and heads to Hollywood to become one himself. His only gift is that he makes other small-penis guys feel better about themselves. Oh, and an outrageously blind girl (Ricci) falls for him.
The movie, which in reverse, wouldn't even work as a 5-minute SNL sketch. Hell, it doesn't work as a comedy, spoof, drama or a relevant piece of farce in 2011. I'm seriously considering adding a "½ Star to 0 Stars" to my rating board, if it weren't actually professionally shot. Sure, it wasn't amateurishly made, but that's like buying an old Ford Pinto and when people's eyes turn away, you say: "Hey, it runs!"
I don't normally focus on Box Office Receipts for movies, because they can go either way in regards to quality and money made note: the Twilight series, but just for shits and giggles, I looked it up: $1.4 million opening weekend and $2.5 overall. That's a lot more than I imagined. And more than this is worthy of. (It did, however, open at #15 behind The Smurfs. Please, PLEASE, Adam & Nick, see this as a sign not everything you touch turns to gold.)
One final note to end these rants: My prayer is that Adam Sandler is done soon. I know he'll dish 'em out as long as he has an audience dumb enough to pay his salary, but I do pray he has a Mel Gibson rant and disappears. He'll still have all the money he didn't deserve, but at least he'll go away. Nick, on the other hand, his days HAVE to be numbered. Even Adam isn't as stupid as to keep him under his wing. Or is he?
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