Sergeant Harvey Brown: Some city councilman's daughter was attacked. First thing tomorrow morning, I'm going to need you to go there and take a statement.
Detective Leo Banks: With all due respect, Sarge, we'd rather work Kowalski.
Sergeant Harvey Brown: And I'd rather my son didn't wear his mother's underpants.
Detective Allison Beaumont: Here's what you need to know about the Second: Alvarez talks about himself in the third person, Banks sleeps in a bulletproof vest, and yesterday Delahoy named his mustache.
Detective Casey Shraeger: What about Walsh?
Detective Allison Beaumont: On the plus side, he doesn't stare at your boobs when he's talking to you.
Detective Casey Shraeger: The down side?
Detective Allison Beaumont: I've got great boobs. Why isn't he looking?
Vera Moran: [answering the door in her bra and panties] You're not the pizza guy.
Detective Jason Walsh: [holding up his badge] Yeah, and this isn't a porn film.
Detective Jason Walsh: [Puts plate on counter in front of customer] Here you go. Pork Chops.
Customer: I'm a vegetarian. That's why ordered a salad.
Detective Jason Walsh: No, eat it. You'll like it.
Customer: What's the red stuff?
Detective Jason Walsh: It's a Skittles reduction. We're out of fruit.
Detective Jason Walsh: This is how it works: We pass the badge down 'til it kills you... and then we hang it on the wall. So let's raise a glass. Because a cop is dead, and he most certainly will not be forgotten. Here here.
Squad Members: Here here!
Dispatch: Second Squad this is Dispatch. Be on the lookout for a man in a hot dog costume, last seen running west on Hauser Street. Suspect may, or may not, be wielding a Samurai sword.
Sergeant Harvey Brown: It's the NYPD, Detective. If you're not a little confused, you're not paying attention.
Dispatch: Second Squad, this is Dispatch. Be on the lookout for a Puerto Rican male wearing in a cape and no pants.
Vera Moran: He was a good guy.
Detective Jason Walsh: No, he was a cop. You don't kill a cop in New York.
Detective Eric Delahoy: [goading cat killer in a squeaky voice] Why did you kill me, Harold? I have a wife and kittens. Is it because I lick my butt? I know it's disgusting, but I can't help it.
Detective Jason Walsh: You think people shouldn't keep secrets. I think that we *are* our secrets.
Detective Casey Shraeger: I have secrets.
Detective Jason Walsh: A vibrator in your bedside table is not a secret.
Detective Jason Walsh: You know what a cop is to most people? A garbage man. We go through people's trash, look for clues, cleanup their mess. That's the job, right?
Detective Henry Cole: [after shootout] Jesus!
Detective Eric Delahoy: No, I'm okay.
Detective Henry Cole: No, Jesus!
[image on the wall]