Stewie Griffin: [singing] I got veins. They carry blood all over my baddy.
[He stops singing and turns to Brian]
Stewie Griffin: That's how John Mayer would say it. Baddy. I'm really into him right now. You'd better be okay with it!
Lois Griffin: Now, honey, this won't hurt.
[Dabs Stewie with disinfectant]
Stewie Griffin: Ah, those lying bastards at Johnson and Johnson!
[Cut to sinister Johnson and Johnson HQ]
Scientist #1: We'll put "No more tears" on the bottle.
Scientist #2: But it does make you cry.
Scientist #1: I know. Whoo-ha-ha-ha.
Scientist #2: Whoo-ha-ha-ha.
Lois Griffin: Peter, what exactly are you worried will happen because of this?
Peter Griffin: World War 5!
Lois Griffin: Peter, we've talked about this, there has to be a World War 3 and 4 first.
Peter Griffin: Oh, no, Lois. That's the beauty of World War 5. It's so intense it jumps right over World War 3 and 4.
Lois Griffin: But that's...
Peter Griffin: I have spoken!
Gina: [to Connie about Chris] He smells like Fred Flintstone's ass.
[cut to Fred Flintstone]
Fred Flintstone: Hey! No one's asking you to smell it.
Stranger at the Gym: Ah, your kid just needs a little help. Try some of this
Stranger at the Gym: .
Peter Griffin: Well, if there's anyone I can trust it's a stranger at the gym holding a dirty needle!
[providing commentary on Joe grilling hamburgers]
Peter Griffin: Now pick that one up and put it down in the exact same spot.
Jock #2: Hey, let's corner the nerds and get them to show us their junk!
Jock #3: Yeah, won't that be gay of them?
Brian Griffin: [seeing the new buffed-up Stewie] Stewie, you look gross. You look like Lou Ferrigno's poop.
Adam Sandler: This is my old bicycle that I've had from when I was ten.
Adam Sandler: Sometimes the banana seat hurts my heinie.
Adam Sandler: When I ring the bell, it makes my pants feel funny. Ring ring ring!
[while applying lipstick as "Goodbye Horses" plays in the background]
Chris Griffin: Would you do me? I'd do me. I'd do me so hard.
Scott: Hey Meg. Take that!
[Farts at her causing her to run while the others laugh]
Jock #2: That was awesome!
Jock #3: The joke's kind of on *us*, 'cause we're smellin' it!
Jock #2: Yeah!
[high fives Scott]
Principal Shepherd: Connie, the person who humiliated you has himself been humiliated. By the rules of High School, you are now popular again.