Jordana Spiro: P.J. Franklin

Quotes 

• P.J. Franklin : [voiceover]  Chicago winters can be brutal. They tend to weed out anything that isn't strong.

• Kenny Morittori : It's that time of year. I think my mailman has all my mail in his garage.

  P.J. Franklin : Can you blame him?

  Kenny Morittori : No. He'll get to it.

• Mike Callahan : Look at Hawaii! It's eighty degrees there. That's like... forty...

  Kenny Morittori : Seventy-nine.

  Mike Callahan : Seventy-nine degrees warmer than it is here. Why aren't we all moving to Hawaii right now?

  Stephanie Layne : The humidity makes my hair explode.

  P.J. Franklin : There's no baseball team?

  Brendan Dorff : The Brady Bunch went there and almost died.

• Stephanie Layne , Mike Callahan , Kenny Morittori , Brendan Dorff , P.J. Franklin : SHUT THE DOOR!

  Andy Franklin : And hello to you, too.

• Mike Callahan : Dude! You MIGHT wanna work the party more before you break open the pinata.

  P.J. Franklin : All right. Take it easy, puka shells.

• Stephanie Layne : That's Trevor.

  P.J. Franklin : And Trevor is...?

  Kenny Morittori : Smelly? Deranged? Getting back with his parents?

  Stephanie Layne : [looking about deliberately]  Is that Kenny? Oh, I didn't recognize you without your Joe Piscopo costume on.

• P.J. Franklin : They've all gone insane.

  Brendan Dorff : Maybe they were always insane and it was just so cold out that they moved slower so you couldn't see the insanity.

• P.J. Franklin : Everybody's gone crazy.

  Bobby Newman : Like "dancin' in the streets" crazy or like "box of fingers under your bed" crazy?

  P.J. Franklin : Somewhere between those two.

  Mike Callahan : Yeah, like a happy-go-lucky guy who cuts up squirrels.

• P.J. Franklin : Why don't you name me four herbs?

  Bobby Newman : Okay, uh, parsley, Italian parsley, Chinse parsley, and... Elvis Parsley.