Jamie Kaler: Mike Callahan

Quotes 

• Mike Callahan : Look at Hawaii! It's eighty degrees there. That's like... forty...

  Kenny Morittori : Seventy-nine.

  Mike Callahan : Seventy-nine degrees warmer than it is here. Why aren't we all moving to Hawaii right now?

  Stephanie Layne : The humidity makes my hair explode.

  P.J. Franklin : There's no baseball team?

  Brendan Dorff : The Brady Bunch went there and almost died.

• Stephanie Layne , Mike Callahan , Kenny Morittori , Brendan Dorff , P.J. Franklin : SHUT THE DOOR!

  Andy Franklin : And hello to you, too.

• Heather : [meeting the gang]  You're hilarious. You must be Bobby.

  Mike Callahan : No, I'm Mike. What? Is Bobby the funny one?

  Brendan Dorff : He's got a silly streak, man. Yeah.

  Heather : You're Mike? Oh, Kenny never mentioned you.

  Mike Callahan : Well, smart move. Probably 'cause I'm rockin' the gun show. Mmm!

  [poses] 

  Kenny Morittori : NOW, you're funny.

• Mike Callahan : Dude! You MIGHT wanna work the party more before you break open the pinata.

  P.J. Franklin : All right. Take it easy, puka shells.

• P.J. Franklin : Everybody's gone crazy.

  Bobby Newman : Like "dancin' in the streets" crazy or like "box of fingers under your bed" crazy?

  P.J. Franklin : Somewhere between those two.

  Mike Callahan : Yeah, like a happy-go-lucky guy who cuts up squirrels.

• Andy Franklin : Where's my beer?

  Mike Callahan : [bartending]  Listen, any chance you're gonna sleep with me tonight?

  Andy Franklin : Uh, no.

  Mike Callahan : Then embrace the back of the line.

• Brendan Dorff : Bingo has got to go-o. All right? He can't hang out here anymore.

  Mike Callahan : No way. We're a team, broham. Would you split up Batman and Robin?

  Brendan Dorff : Yeah, if Robin peed on the file cabinet.