[about his wedding to a Jewish girl]
The Jewish tradition of dancing with the bride and groom on their shoulders clashes with the Scottish tradition of no underwear under the kilt. It was particularly embarrassing for me because I've got a huge cock!
It's a medical condition!
[to audience member]
You can't tell in these pants, I can feel your eyes boring into me! I had them made in Vegas, there's a secret compartment... I could have a white tiger in here... and in a way I do.
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Craig Ferguson is great -- he has so much energy, and although he is pretty bouncy on his talk show, he is even more bouncy on stage doing stand-up. The gloves are off, he is able to say and do whatever he wants... and he does.
I love that he calls out Sean Connery for "Red October" (even if the joke is thirty years old). But then the "Highlander" thing... genius. So true on how movies cast ethnic or national roles...
Ferguson's monologues should probably be collected on DVD... a "best of" Ferguson, that could be all funny and several months long. It would be some of the funniest stuff ever released to the public (far more so than Leno or Letterman could do in such a short period of time).
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