You May Not Kiss the Bride (2011) Poster

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4/10
I do like the story, but I absolutely dislike the misperceived origins from Croatia
Warning: Spoilers
This movie is about an American photographer Bryan (who wanted to travel the world and take photographs of all the wonders he encounters along the way but he got stuck with taking photographs of pets in weird costumes) and a Croatian woman Masha (she wants to have her own dance studio) who are forced to get married so she can stay in the USA. The reason why he is forced to marry this girl he had never met, is because he had an incident with the cat (he was supposed to take photographs of her) which belonged to her mother. Her father is a mafia boss so he took that incident as a basis of making him marry his daughter but only on paper. Her father plans on marrying her for his best man when she gets a permit to stay in the USA and everything settles down. After the wedding,to fool the INS agents, they are also sent on a honeymoon. There she gets kidnapped and you would never believe who the kidnappers are (I will not tell you because it's one of the best parts of the movie). As you may have already assumed, they develop feelings for each other so he wants to rescue her without the help of her father. He is successful and she is returned unharmed to her parents. At that point her father agrees on them staying together but Bryan doesn't want to have anything to do with them anymore because of his near death experience and all the shooting and because her father is a criminal. The end of the movie is expected, it is a happy end but I will not spoil the surprise how it got that way. Maybe the best character in the movie is Ernesto, the guy who drives them around in a tropical resort and helps them along the way. He has the best jokes and the best unexpected (funny) behavior.

Now for the thing I hated most and was absolutely DISAPPOINTED with is the so-called Croatian origins. How could they not do at least a few minutes research to get at least one thing right??? I am from Croatia and I am insulted by it. The names (Masha, Vadik, Borislava...) and the accent they have and the wedding customs are all Russian, not Croatian in the slightest. And the music used on the wedding is Turkish/Russian... It is incredible how ignorant some people are. They needed a few minute research on the internet to pick some Croatian names, one of our songs for the wedding and one wedding custom to use. And what is with that accent of theirs? Typical Russian mafia accent used on the movies, Croatians are very adaptable and have a very easy ability to learn and pronounce other languages. In our weddings, we do not have the custom to shout "Gorko, Gorko, Gorko" (translation: bitter), so a groom would kiss a bride. It is disgraceful to use Russian style and perception under a Croatian name. If they wanted to use our country as the base of the story they should have learn about it and do at least one thing right. They completely misjudged and misused our name, our country and our customs. For me, that ruined the whole movie, the interesting story and quite a few very funny moments.
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3/10
Silly Rom-Com! 3/10
leonblackwood1 February 2014
Review: This movie is more silly that funny. I found the leading character pretty annoying, and Vinnie Jones is playing his usual cockney hard nut, but if you don't take the movie seriously then it's just harmless fun. The storyline is really unbelievable, and the ending was pretty corny, but that's what you expect from a Rom-Com nowadays. I was surprised to see Kathy Burke in such a weak movie, but she didn't play a major role. As I hadn't really heard of this movie before, I didn't have high expectations so I wasn't massively disappointed. Average!

Round-Up: If this film had a leading character that wasn't so dumb, then it might have been half decent, but he just got on my nerves after a while. It's obvious that the director didn't really think the storyline through that well because it got ridiculous after a while. It just goes from one weird scene to the next, which makes its unpredictable in some ways, but silly in another. It was a waste of a good cast, except for the leading character, but you can tell that there wasn't a big budget so it shouldn't have been a massive lose.

Budget: $6million Worldwide Gross: N/A

I recommend this movie to people who are into there silly Rom-Com's about an arranged marriage that goes totally wrong. 3/10
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2/10
Terrible, a complete waste of time.
iraz22 September 2012
OK, it's a romcom, but does that mean it has to be dumb, unfunny, and trite? Obviously those who make such movies feel the movie viewing public must want their romantic comedies made like this. This film was made in 2009 and is just now seeing some viewing light. They should have kept it hidden and maybe burn all the copies. A complete waste of time. You can have as many decent actors in a film, but if the writing is poor and the script is an insult to our intelligence, you get what this film is - a mess! Nothing makes sense here, the acting is terrible but the script is so poor and filled with so many things we've seen before that most of us could write a better story without much effort.
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2/10
Awful and as mediocre as it could have gotten
Saad Khan16 August 2012
Warning: Spoilers
You May Not Kiss the Bride – TRASH IT (C-) YOU MAY NOT KISS THE BRIDE is a charming tale of adventurous high jinx and budding romance involving an unassuming pet photographer (Annable) who is thrown head first into a series of unforeseeable events when he's forced to marry a Croatian mobster's daughter (McPhee) and spend his honeymoon at a secluded Tahitian resort where the bride is kidnapped. Everything is wrong in this movie from the beginning, you have serious actor Dave Annabel playing a rom-com lover then you've an American Katherine McPhee playing a Croatian girl. C'mon change the characterization if you wanted to cast these two together. Dave Annabel & Katherine McPhee try to do their best but they're mismatch and miscast in the movie. Mena Suvari don't care about blows to her acting career as since American Beauty & American Pie franchise she has not done anything worth remembering. Even still Rob Schneider, Kathy bates, Tia Carrer & Mena Suvari try to bring some comic relive in the movie. On the whole, it's a time pass but very tedious predictable movie, better not waste your time and brains on it.
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7/10
Light romantic comedy .... Definitely a one time watch
Hanish Sharma28 February 2013
I was randomly searching movies in comedy genre when a found this one ... i liked the title ... so decided to see it ... I had very few expectations from it ... but as the movie progressed i fell in love with the characters ... Both the lead actors r very cute and fit perfectly in their role ... the location chosen for the shooting is out of this world ... its not a brilliant movie , i should tell u ... but u can have a good time watching it in your free time ... it'll lighten u up ... i found it much better than movies which uses vulgar words or situations to bring out the humor ...

Don't think too much about the research work , the plot and the reasoning ... production team has not put much effort on that ... but come on , after all its a movie NOT a science project ... So just sit back and relax ... Have a good time .... after all thats what movies r made for :)
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4/10
Away with the bride
Prismark1029 October 2014
A rather silly, uneven, flawed but appealing romantic comedy where pet photographer Bryan gets forced to marry a Croatian woman Masha, by her crime lord father so she can get fast tracked citizenship and make amends for injuring the family cat. Strangely Masha does not have much of a Croatian accent.

In order to convince the immigration service, they are sent off to honeymoon to Tahiti. Of course Bryan is told to keep his hands to himself as this is just a paper marriage and his father's henchman, Vinnie Jones has first tabs on Marsha. However Bryan is smitten with Marsha but she is kidnapped and a ransom is demanded. Bryan with some help tries to rescue her, but her family thinks he is involved in the kidnap.

The film has lots of flaws. Why does Marsha's father try to bribe the Immigration Service officials? Why does he want his daughter to marry Vinnie Jones when Marsha despises him. Why does Mena Suvari lust after Bryan and act like a stalker?

Its only the charms of the two leads and Tia Carrere that propels this uneven film. Rob Schneider does his unfunny shtick as if he is still in an Adam Sandler movie. There is some beautiful scenery as the film was shot in Hawaii, there are a few star cameos and its surprisingly sprightly despite the problems with the screenplay.
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1/10
Movie without any effort
hbit011 July 2012
Hi! This is just one of the movies where everything go bad from the start. It seems that sponsorship of one tropical island and shooting on their locations are only purpose of making this movie. When you writing the script you must have some right facts, but that is not the thing in this script. Writer/director has choose some random country for birthplace of lead actress. "Croatian bride Masha Nikitin", with surname that don't exist in Croatia (i have searched) and name is so rare. Nikitin is from "son of Nikita", and it is Russian surname and Masha is Russian name. Why Croatia then? Maybe because father of bride looks and talks like Croatian guy? No, he looks like more like Bulgarian, talks Russian English (you can compare his accent with Goran Visnjic in ER - he IS from Croatia - and look too...). OK, then this is because of joke about coffee in Croatia? No, look at American winning documentary Wow Croatia, where is mentioned that around noon in working time coffee shops are full of people drinking what? Coffey! Because it is bad? No! Because it is good! Lead coffee maker in Croatia, Franck is formed 1892, and in Croatia it is big influence of Italian coffee products and Nestle... And that is just start of the movie. I think i don't need write more...
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Exactly as rated 5.1 stars
daysky25 November 2013
This movie had one of the most unrealistic plots I have ever seen... such as a very conveniently located canoe.

That said, I watched the whole thing...

So basically it is watchable: even cute at moments, incredibly dumb at others

A high point is the island... it is gorgeous

It actually made me consider a career in scriptwriting... I know I can write at this level for sure!

Keep your expectations low, and you won't be disappointed Actually, if you watch it with your boyfriend, he will probably enjoy it if he likes action scenes and crude humor (just a few things, but for me they detracted from the already flimsy story in my opinion)
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8/10
People, it's a comedy!
albibarcelona4 July 2012
According to me a comedy is supposed to make you laugh, and this movie does. You can say it's not deep and it may have some flaws, some mislead facts and stuff but people, do you watch a comedy to learn about history? NO, you watch it for entertainment and this movie is hilarious on many occasions. To all those who rated this movie with a 4 or 5...think about the purpose of the movie, if you want a deep,meaningful movie then this isn't for you but if you just want to sit back and have a laugh then don't hesitate. Very decent comedy and quite different from the cliché Hollywood romantic movies. Everything has it's purpose. I didn't laugh this much since Due Date.
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7/10
Pets in costumes and a forced marriage, what else could you wish for?
Paul Magne Haakonsen27 August 2012
I actually enjoyed this romantic comedy. Sure it was as predictable as they come, but still it provided some good entertainment. The movie had all that you could want, more or less, in a movie; comedy, laughs, action, gun fights, car chases, and great scenery.

The story in "You May Not Kiss the Bride" is about Bryan Lighthouse (played by Dave Annable) who works as a pet photographer, who lives a fairly unromantic life. His mother (played by Kathy Bates) is breathing down his neck, asking for him to get married and give her grandchildren. One day, while on the job, Bryan's assistant Tonya (played by Mena Suvari) cause an accident involving a client's cat. The owner of the cat is the wife of a Croatian mobster (played by Ken Davitian), and he forces Bryan into marrying his daughter, Masha, (played by Katharina McPhee) so she can become an American citizen. But the mobster's minion (played by Vinnie Jones) is in love with Masha and doesn't approve of this marriage. The 'happily married' couple embarks on a fake honeymoon to a tropical resort where things get out of hand.

I found the story to be rather enjoyable and fun. It had a bunch of great moments. And the story was really helped along by the cast of great actors and actresses they had brought in. Especially Dave Annable was doing a tremendous job in this movie. But also Rob Schneider (playing Ernesto) and Tia Carrere (playing Lani) was doing good jobs as well. The story is fun to watch, and it has just the right amount of romance and comedy to it.

The characters in the movie were well-played and had good depths and personalities. Each were given good time to shine on the screen, and no one really came off as drones or generic characters.

I loved the idea they had come up with when one the kidnappers got that laminating resin thrown on his and the bucket was removed from his face. I was laughing so hard at the result of that. It was just brilliant.

If you enjoy romantic comedies, then you should check out "You May Not Kiss the Bride". It has a great love story, it is filmed in really beautiful locations, and it is great fun to watch. Don't' miss out on this one.
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