- Eric Northman: You are aware there's a gaping hole in your leg? You're damaged goods.
- Lafayette Reynolds: Not if you turn me. I'd be good as ever. Look I'm already a person of poor moral character. So, I hit the ground running and I damn near glamor people already. Gimme what ya'll got. Not only will I be a badass vampire, but I'd be your badass vampire.
- Pam: I thought prostitutes were good at keeping secrets.
- Lafayette Reynolds: Oh, don't get it twisted honeycone. I'm a survivor first, capitalist second and a whole bunch of shit after that. But a hooker dead last! So if I've got even a Jew at an Al Qaida pep rally's shot at getting my black ass up out of this motherfucker I'm taking it!
- Eric Northman: So, what's it gonna be Lafayette? Would you like your leg to kill you? Or would you prefer us to do that?
- Lafayette Reynolds: I'm gonna go with plan C.
- Eric Northman: There's a plan C?
- Lafayette Reynolds: Make me a vampire.
- Eric Northman: I beg your pardon.
- Lafayette Reynolds: And you can put me to work in the bar. I'm a good dancer, you've seen it on my site. Shit, I'd get up there and move earth and heaven Go-Go style.
- Eric Northman: You are aware that there's a gaping whole in your leg. You're damaged goods.
- Lafayette Reynolds: Not if you turn me. I'd be as good as heaven. Look... I... I'm already a person of poor moral character... so I hit the ground running.
- Sookie Stackhouse: [in Jessica's house] I don't normally curse. But you have seriously fucked me here!
- Jessica Hamby: Hey, I know and I'm sorry. But I swear it was like it wasn't even me doing it. It must be all those new vampire impulse control issues.
- Sookie Stackhouse: Fuck your impulse control issues!
- Eric Northman: If you have any silver on you now would be the time to reveal it.
- Lafayette Reynolds: Now way! I ain't that stupid!
- Eric Northman: Yes, you are.
- [swiping his mouth, looking at his hand]
- Eric Northman: Is there blood in my hair?
- Lafayette Reynolds: What?
- Eric Northman: Is there blood in my hair?
- Lafayette Reynolds: I... I don't know. I can't see in this light.
- Eric Northman: [goes over quickly] How about now?
- Lafayette Reynolds: [shaking] Y... yeah t... there's a little bit of blood in there, yeah.
- Eric Northman: This is bad. Pam is going to kill me.
- Lafayette Reynolds: Who the fuck is Pam?
- Eric Northman: Do you want to meet her?
- Lafayette Reynolds: No. No, I'm good.
- Eric Northman: We'll you're going to.
- [takes the chain from the collar]
- Lafayette Reynolds: Where you taking me?
- Eric Northman: To find out what you know. I wouldn't try anything rash if I were you. I'm still hungry.
- Pam: [looking at Eric's hair] This is a disaster. We'll have to go much shorter than I planned.
- Eric Northman: Well I said I was sorry, Pam. He took silver to me.
- [to Lafayette]
- Eric Northman: You were there, you saw it. Defend me.
- Lafayette Reynolds: I don't know what it is you want to know, but point me in the direction and I gives to you.
- Eric Northman: I've seen your website, it's quite, umm... low rent. But your clients miss you, Lafayette, they're wondering if you're ever coming back.
- Lafayette Reynolds: [nervous] Am I?
- Tara Thornton: [learning about Jessica] So basically you're like a step-mother to a vampire?
- Sookie Stackhouse: Okay, you did not just call me that.
- Eric Northman: The sheriff of Area 9 in Texas has gone missing. Have you heard about it?
- Bill Compton: I hadn't. But I know the vampire of whom you speak. His name is Godric. Correct?
- Eric Northman: Indeed. That goes without saying he needs to be found. Which is where Sookie comes in.
- Bill Compton: No!
- Eric Northman: She's yours and I'm asking your permission to take her with me to Dallas.
- Bill Compton: You you can do whatever you want with me but I am not putting her in this position anymore. I cannot and I will not allow you to bring her into these matters.
- Eric Northman: We made a deal, your human and I. That if I didn't kill anyone she would work for me as often as I like. You remember that don't you? You were there.
- Bill Compton: Taking her across state lines is a far cry from taking her to Fangtasia for the evening!
- Eric Northman: I'm only asking your permission out of respect. If I want her I can simply take her... Is no your final answer?
- Bill Compton: It is.
- Eric Northman: Poorly played, Bill.
- Maryann: Detective Bellefleur, you come dance with me.
- Detective Andy Bellefleur: I don't dance.
- Maryann: With me, you do. Come on, come on!
- Sam Merlotte: One of the things I set out to do when I opened up here, was to have a place where you could come, get a drink, and nobody would bother you to dance.
- Detective Andy Bellefleur: I am with you there. I hate to dance. This one time, I was in a club in Shreveport, and I actually had a woman tell me I looked like an epileptic on meth. Never again, Sam. Never again
- Jessica Hamby: [coming from the back, to Sookie] I just saw my parents on TV!
- Sookie Stackhouse: Oh no, I'm sorry.
- Jessica Hamby: I finally get why they never wanted me to watch in it the first place. It's horrible.
- Sookie Stackhouse: Umm, where's Bill?
- Jessica Hamby: I have no idea. All he told me was, 'Jessica, I have errands to run. Errands which do not require you presence. So remain here and do you best to stay out of trouble while I'm gone.' I hate it here! I hate it so much!
- Sookie Stackhouse: Jessica?
- Jessica Hamby: Damn. I miss them.
- [her family]
- Sookie Stackhouse: Your parents?
- Jessica Hamby: My little sister, who I always was totally horrible to and... I'm just such a brat.
- [crying tears of blood]
- Jessica Hamby: What's wrong with me?
- Sookie Stackhouse: Sweetie, vampires don't cry regular tears. So when you cry, you're gonna cry blood from now on.
- Jessica Hamby: Why do you know this and I don't? Don't you think I should know this about myself?
- Sookie Stackhouse: Bill probably should have told you.
- Jessica Hamby: Geez, ya think?
- Luke McDonald: Luke McDonald. No relation to the restaurant
- Jason Stackhouse: Any relation to the farm?
- Luke McDonald: [Confused] What farm?
- Jason Stackhouse: Never mind.
- Maryann: [to Sam in dog-form] Abracadabra, Sam. What I just did to you, I can do anytime, anywhere. So unless you want your customers to know your little secret, you better thick twice before you threaten me ever again. Do we understand each other?
- Sookie Stackhouse: Another first.
- Bill Compton: How do you mean?
- Sookie Stackhouse: We've never had 'make up' sex before.
- Bill Compton: How does it compare to 'you thought I was dead' sex?
- Sookie Stackhouse: That was pretty great too, but I wouldn't want to go through that again. I hated feeling like I'd lost you.
- Bill Compton: Yet, you like fightin' me.
- Sookie Stackhouse: I don't like too. I just...
- Bill Compton: Let's not get too used to it then. We don't want to be one of 'those' couples.
- Sookie Stackhouse: You're right... holy f. I am so embarrassed, I could die.
- Bill Compton: What is it?
- Sookie Stackhouse: Jessica. I completely forgot she was here. Do you think she heard us?
- Bill Compton: No! If she had, she'd had no compunction about letting us know it.
- Sookie Stackhouse: You know you might wanna try going a little easier on her. It's hard enough being a teenager without...
- Bill Compton: She is a vampire, Sookie!
- Sookie Stackhouse: So are you. Yet parts of your former self are still in there. I wouldn't be with you if they weren't.
- Bill Compton: Yes... I've had to work extremely hard at finding my way back to my humanity. When a vampire is as new as Jessica is, she has no humanity. She is in the grips of an overwhelming transformations, there will be times when she cannot control even a single impulse... and believe me she 'has' many.
- Sookie Stackhouse: How is that any different from being a teenage girl? No humanity, check. In the grips of overwhelming transformations, check. Cannot control impulses, check. Alright, uh... how is that different?
- Bill Compton: Alright. So what do you suggest I do? Just spoil the girl? Give into her every whim and desire? After all that is what every teenage girl wants, isn't it?
- Sookie Stackhouse: You don't have to be sarcastic with me, Bill Compton. And should you at least think about what I'm sayin', if no other reason that what you're doing right now isn't working out so hot.
- Bill Compton: Hmmm.
- Sookie Stackhouse: How ironic. We promised each other we weren't gonna fight anymore, yet here we are.
- Bill Compton: This isn't a fight.
- Sookie Stackhouse: ...Yes it is.
- Bill Compton: Well then. Prepare to be made up to.
- Tara Thornton: How many times do I have to tell you comin' into work when you don't have to is pathetic. It's like goin' back to high school and visitin' your teachers.
- Sookie Stackhouse: I didn't come to see them. I came to see you. So come on. Take a break.
- Tara Thornton: Sam will be pissed
- Sookie Stackhouse: He's always pissed.
- Ginger: [pointing a gun at him] Who the fuck are you?
- Lafayette Reynolds: It's day time! Thank you Jesus! Thank you god! You're human, right?
- Ginger: Kinda! But I ain't lettin' you go, if that's what you're thinking!
- Sookie Stackhouse: [starts to cry] Jessica... I'm sorry.
- Jessica Hamby: Now, why are you crying?
- Sookie Stackhouse: Because I did this to you. If Bill hadn't... I took your life away and I know there's no way you'll ever be able to forgive me. It's not even right to ask. But I had no idea it was gonna lead to this.
- Jessica Hamby: I don't blame you, Sookie.
- Sookie Stackhouse: How's that even possible?
- Sookie Stackhouse: [after he breaks down the door] Bill!
- Bill Compton: Jessica let him go!
- Jessica Hamby: But?
- Bill Compton: As your maker I command you!
- Sookie Stackhouse: Thank god you're here.
- Bill Compton: Shut up!
- Sookie Stackhouse: I'm sorry!
- Bill Compton: Get the hell outta here!
- Sookie Stackhouse: Bill?
- Bill Compton: [pushing her out the front door] Now, so I can clean up your mess!
- Sookie Stackhouse: [about Jessica's parents] Please don't kill them!
- Bill Compton: This is all your fault! Now get the hell out of here!
- Tara Thornton: You smell nasty and nice all at the same time. When I was going to sleep last night, I realized I don't know much about you.
- Sarah Newlin: Keep in mind that your ring is made out of pure silver. Protect it with your heart because one day it might protect you.