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"Being Human" Tully (TV Episode 2009) Poster

(TV Series)

(2009)

Quotes

Annie: Maybe he's had a blow to the head.

George: I'm sorry?

Annie: Happened to my Nan. She got hit in the head by a radio-controlled plane at a county fair. From that moment - obsessed with pygmy goats.

George: There wasn't a single bit of that sentence I understood.

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George: He doesn't understand. These people are British. You're not allowed to talk to your neighbors until you've nodded at them for fifteen years.

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Mitchell: Where're you sleeping tonight?

Tully: In the arms of Mother Nature, as always.

George: Is just saying "outside" really that hard?

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George: What's going on?

Mitchell: Tully's leaving.

George: What? Why?

Tully: I wish I could tell you, mate.

Mitchell: OK, I know it was my suggestion but it was only gonna be for a day or so and instead it's been weeks, so I think now's the time...

Annie: He's creepy. And he frightened me.

Mitchell: Yeah. I-I was building to that.

George: Creepy? You're dead.

Mitchell: Look. He stinks out the bathroom, he eats all the food.

George: Oh, that's nice. That's generosity.

Mitchell: He's upset Annie, he's pissing off the neighbours, he's... He's a twat!

George: Well, he's *my* twat!

Mitchell: I expect that sounded better in your head.

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George: My name is George and I'm a werewolf.

Mitchell: Hello, George.

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[first lines]

Mitchell: [V.O. over George's transformation] He should be dead within 30 seconds. The werewolf heart is about two-thirds the size of a human's; but, in order to shrink, first, it has to stop. In other words, he has a heart attack. All the internal organs are smaller; so, while he's having his heart attack, he's having a liver and kidney failure too, and if he stops screaming, it's not because the pain has dulled: his throat, gullet, and vocal chords are tearing and reforming. He literally can't make a sound. By now, the pituitary gland should be working overtime, flooding his body with endorphins to ease some of the pain, but that, too, has shut down. Anyone else would have died of shock long ago, but it won't let him. And THAT'S the thing I find most remarkable: it drags him through fire and keeps him alive and even conscious to endure every second. Nothing like this could just evolve; this is the fingerprint of God, an impossible, lethal curse, spread by tooth and claw. Victim begets victim begets victim. It's so cruel, it's... perfect.

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Lauren: [being choked] Mitchell! Jesus! I can't breathe. You're killing me. Oh, no, wait. You already did that.

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George: This isn't a gift. It's God stamping on us with his boot.

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Mitchell: What are you doing here? Herrick's already cut me off from the rest of the vampires. If he thinks sending you here...

Lauren: Why does this have to be about Herrick? What is it with you two? You're obsessed with each other. It's totally gay.

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Mitchell: We can't just dip our toe. We need to dive into the churn of humanity.

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George: You are not meeting my friends.

Tully: I am house-trained, you know.

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Mitchell: What's more suspicious-three shadowy, secretive people who never come out, never talk to anyone. Or three friendly, welcoming guys. Always nice and chatty. Their door's always open.

George: I don't mean just risky for us.

Mitchell: We should hide in plain sight. Stop being ashamed. Invite the world in.

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Mitchell: So Carol from number twelve is gonna lend us Casablanca.

George: Why?

Mitchell: I'm only in it!

Annie: Get out!

Mitchell: Yeah. I'm just an extra. In the bar. And you can't actually see me, obviously. But I do knock over a chair at one point and you can see that.

Annie: You in Casablanca. How did you swing that?

Mitchell: I know people. I move and shake.

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Annie: You changed your tune. You love old movies.

George: Hey, George is as George does.

Mitchell: Did you really just say that? Did you actually say those words?

Annie: Oh my god. You're Tully's Mini-Me.

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Mitchell: It's good we're doing this. Especially now. Throwing the doors open like this... sends a message.

George: What do you mean, "especially now"?

Mitchell: [Backtracking] Nothing. It, ah, came out wrong.

George: And sends a message to who? There's something you're not telling us.

Mitchell: Like what? What?

George: A few weeks ago, Tully was in London and got attacked by some vampires.

Mitchell: Vampires are arsholes. This is hardly news.

George: Yes. But Tully says it's happening more and more. Like suddenly they've stopped hiding. But it's the things they're saying now, about time. How their time is coming.

Mitchell: Vampires have been saying their time is coming since the Crusades. Every now and then someone along, they get everyone all excited. It never comes to anything.

Annie: What, so something has been happening?

Mitchell: It's nothing! Can we- ? It's nothing. I promise you. I need a wee.

[He walks out]

George: Well. I feel totally reassured.

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Mitchell: Vampires film themselves making a kill and then they pass it on.

Annie: So, what, it's like porn?

Mitchell: In a way.

George: Why do they do it?

Mitchell: Same reason anyone does porn.

George: You mean that's supposed to be sexy?

Mitchell: For some. But this is different. This is... personal. It's to remind me of what I did to her.

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Lauren: [to Mitchell, about life as a vampire] It's like "Hotel California". You can check out, but you can never leave.

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Lauren: [doorbell rings. Mitchell opens the front door and sees Lauren] Morning. You gonna let me in? You have to invite me across the threshold. That is such a mental rule, who made that up?

Mitchell: You, you are not coming in here.

Lauren: Uh yeah, I think I am, 'cause I don't think you want this conversation happening on your doorstep.

[Lauren sees an elderly woman across the street]

Lauren: Hiyah, how's it going?

Mitchell: [Grabs Lauren] Oh for Christ's sake, come in.

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Mitchell: [Mitchell and George are arguing about Tully staying in their house] Look, he stinks up the bathroom, he eats all the food.

George: Oh that's nice, that's generosity.

Mitchell: He's upset Annie! He's pissing off the neighbors. He's... he's a twat!

George: Well he's my twat.

Mitchell: I, expect that sounded better in your head.

George: I mean, he's my friend.

Mitchell: So what the hell are we?

George: I don't know Mitchell, I really don't.

Tully: [Tully moves to get up] Look, I don't want to cause any trouble guys. Maybe I should just...

George: Stay where you are!

[Tully sits back down while George and Mitchell continue]

George: Why haven't you helped me? Why is it Tully who's showing me how to manage my condition?

Mitchell: You can barely admit you have a condition.

George: [raising his voice] Why is it Tully, who's showing me how to talk to women?

Mitchell: Showing you how to talk to women? What are you twelve?

George: Do you know the difference between you and him?

Mitchell: Hm, I don't know, I don't have to shave my palms.

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Mitchell: Oh George, you know the isolation room you were using to transform in?

George: Yeah, the're using it as a site office for the building work.

Mitchell: Health and Safety said it's unsuitable. It's too remote and there's no windows. The site officer kept bursting into tears every time he went down there.

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Mitchell: Oh George, you know the isolation room you were using to transform in?

George: Yeah, they're using it as a site office for the building work.

Mitchell: Health and Safety said it's unsuitable. It's too remote and there's no windows. The site officer kept bursting into tears every time he went down there.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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