Noah is not your typical entertain-the-kids-no-matter-how-boring-it-is kind of sitter. He's reluctant to take a sitting gig; he'd rather, well, be doing anything else, especially if it involves slacking. When Noah is watching the neighbor's kid he gets a booty call from his girlfriend in the city. To hook up with her, Noah takes to the streets, but his urban adventure spins out of control as he finds himself on the run from a maniacal drug lord. Written by
20th Century publicity
So let's get this straight: The Sitter is about to be released featuring the round and portly Jonah Hill we've become familiar with over the years, but he's lost a considerable amount of weight and almost looks like a completely different person these days? That won't be confusing to some people at all. Truth be told, I liked Jonah Hill there for awhile. I laughed really hard at Superbad, Grandma's Boy was a lot better than it first let on, and Get Him to the Greek was pretty solid as well. Not to mention How to Train Your Dragon being spectacular. The problem is outside of films like Moneyball, Hill basically has Vince Vaughn syndrome and plays the exact same character in everything. It could come down to character acting, but it gets to the point where you see somebody do the same shtick a dozen times and you just want to see if they're capable of anything else. Director David Gordon Green is on the same boat. I keep hearing how solid his first directorial efforts are and Pineapple Express is one of the best R-rated comedies in recent years, but everything since has just been so disappointing. The Sitter won't be the film to shatter what you've come to expect from Jonah Hill and David Gordon Green either.
You pretty much already know the basic story of the film: a guy who hates kids has to babysit three of them and everything you could possibly imagine to go wrong does in the worst ways imaginable. Blithe (Landry Bender) is a little girl who's obsessed with becoming a celebrity and just wants to go to clubs, dress up, wear make-up, drink and eat whatever famous people consume, and sing along to songs a girl her age probably shouldn't. Rodrigo (Kevin Hernandez) is the adopted kid of the family and likes to destroy things for no reason while having a particular fascination with cherry bombs. Then there's Slater (Max Records) who is convinced he can't function without the medication in his fanny pack since he thinks he's beyond repair.
The Sitter becomes very predictable. The three kids constantly clash with their babysitter throughout the film until they eventually warm up to each other and go from there. Jonah Hill spits out a few semi-entertaining one-liners amongst all the mayhem. There are several weird bonding scenes between the kids and Noah though. Noah has a heart to heart talk with both Blithe and Slater, but Slater is the one to step in and try to set Rodrigo straight. The scenes come off as a little awkward because they feel kind of forced. There's a drug dealer named Karl (Sam Rockwell) chasing them and Noah is trying to get to a party to try and get lucky with his sort-of girlfriend Marisa (Ari Graynor). Would you take a time-out to make a kid feel better if you owed a drug dealer ten grand by midnight with your life on the line? The entire adventure becomes incredibly cliché and is basically an R-rated version of most of the babysitting movies you've seen previously. Despicable Me, Mr. Nanny, Bebe's Kids, and The Pacifier are probably a few that come to mind. This is another movie whose unrealistic qualities snowballed as it progressed. It continued to get more and more ludicrous as it went on. About halfway into the movie, most of the theater was in hysterics but the entire press row was just not laughing at all. Realizing this made me laugh harder than any material in the movie.
The Sitter is just bad from all angles. It uses a recycled and overused storyline, isn't funny, is unrealistic, and is basically an embarrassment for all of those involved. How in the world did Sam Rockwell become a part of this and what the hell happened to David Gordon Green? The Sitter is the type of movie that lets you know several talented people are involved in the project and yet they still churn out run of the mill garbage to try and make a buck. This is hands down one of the worst movies of the year.
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