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A Vampire's Tale (2009)
"Umbrage" (original title)

3.2
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Ratings: 3.2/10 from 353 users  
Reviews: 13 user | 23 critic

When a dysfunctional family moves into a remote farm terror emerges from the darkness in the form of a vampire cowboy hell bent on revenge.

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Cast

Credited cast:
...
Jacob
...
Rachel
...
Phelan
Natalia Celino ...
Lilith
...
Lauren
...
Stanley
Scott North ...
Travis (as Scott Thomas)
Yoram Halberstam ...
Rest of cast listed alphabetically:
...
Special FX Voices
Jason Croot ...
Aj Williams ...
Sammaelson
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Storyline

In the Old West, the assassination of an ageing cowboy is thwarted by a sultry vampiress, the would-be killer left for dead in the dust. A hundred years later an ancient obsidian mirror, long unearthed from the Mesopotamian desert, is liberated from an American collector's vault and illegally transported to Europe. Jacob, an unscrupulous antiques dealer, moves to a remote farmhouse with his pregnant young wife, Lauren, and his difficult ward, Rachel. His goals are clear: to pass this near-priceless mirror to the highest bidder, and to prevent these two women from ripping each other apart. Nearby, a beautiful ornithologist, in nocturnal pursuit of the Screech Owl, is disturbed in her hide by a couple of noisy hikers. Her efforts ruined, she joins them by their campfire, but when one of them is mysteriously mutilated in the woods, she and the other are forced to flee and seek refuge at Jacob's farm. Something has been unleashed into the dark of that night.... Shadows take on a life of ... Written by Anonymous

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

Darkness is your only friend

Genres:

Horror | Western

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated R for bloody violence, sexual content, nudity, language and some drug use | See all certifications »

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Details

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Release Date:

17 October 2011 (UK)  »

Also Known As:

A Vampire's Tale  »

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Box Office

Budget:

£75,000 (estimated)
 »

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User Reviews

 
a bit of everything and nothing at all
26 October 2011 | by (Midian) – See all my reviews

This was Drew Cullingham's first attempt for a feature. And I must say that he surely knows how to film everything. He did a great job as a director. But he also wrote this flick and that part was a big letdown for me.

It starts as a western were some cowboy is being bitten by a vampire. Then we move on to a family moving in for their first night in their new home. But they have some problems with the child, she's a youngster and things don't go as they should be. And the mother is pregnant again, go figure out the problems that occur. But from then on the movie get's going very slowly and all kind of weird things are happening, sadly not on screen but in the storyline. Suddenly there's a visit from Lilith and a vampire cowboy. Then we go back to the book genesis but in their own way with Lilith. There's just too much blah blah and nonsense filled with some blood here and there and Lilith showing her full blossom tits twice.

Of course I came across this flick due the name Doug Bradley. The name behind pinhead from Hellraiser. I must say that he acted excellent and was believable as did the others. They all performed well but what this flick was trying to be was a Lars Von Trier horror or a Lynch look-a-like. But it just didn't work out that way. And to be honest, in a flick were we don't have any special effects you guess the end credits would be over in a swiffy. It's normal that flicks like Transformers have credits running over 10 minutes but here the credits do run exactly 9 minutes.

I just don't know who i should recommend this blah blah flick. I guess pinhead would turn over in his grave must he be seeing this.

Gore 1/5 Nudity 2/5 Story 2/5 Effects 2/5 Comedy 0/5


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