|Index||4 reviews in total|
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
B&W scene before the title: 8 biker chicks beat up and crucify a man in
the Middle of the Desert, in order to teach him that to f*** one of
them is to f*** them all. Retribution is therefore multiplied, with
various ways to ensure he dies a horrible death. We're in to a well
photographed rape and revenge drama, involving some leather clad,
leggy, buxom biker girls. Good! Color first scene: 2 patrol cops enter
a club and sit at a table, attended by the old owner, Ted Roy (Ted V.
Mikels in a cameo). They seem the best of friends, though Ted calls
them "rogue cops". Ted orders drinks to their table from an unseen
bartender, Donna (neither seen, nor credited) and a blonde pole dancer
on platform shoes and fishnet thigh highs, named Popcorn (Emma Rhodes).
When she finishes, sprawling her legs wide in front of the cops, one of
them complains that she has spilled his drink. Ted Pulls a big
revolver, shoots her on the spot, and says "Problem solved!" We're not
in drama territory after all. This is farcical musical comedy
unfortunately not well photographed, of the jerky camera, unfocused
type, and with one of the worse sound re-cording and sound mix, that
will be a nuisance to anyone who cares to follow the dialog, or the
many lyrics of the 100 minute long movie. A DVD has been announced as
"uncut", with a running time of 93 minutes.
I've watched the 100 minute version on the Internet, and I'm not happy, because it's a lot of time of one's life. The 8 killer biker girls are reduced by half by scene no. 2, and that's not because of turf war against another gang they simply vanished. There's a Mother (Rose Garlano, only creditable performance among the actresses), her Sister and two daughters, that for a while could be a modern version of a serial killer family. There are an unusual number of characters driving through that Nevada desert road, all heading without a specific appointment to the combo petrol station and bar (with rooms upstairs) managed by Mother, and her family. Others appear out of nowhere apparently because of poor editing. Background to the Mother's character is given via sepia colored flashbacks that look like separate film shorts which someone decided to meld into a feature.
Mr. Hawkmeyer (Rusty Meyers, the actor that manages to defend his character in one of three scenes), from the Azerbaijan, is driving with a young brunette in his red sedan. The same patrol cops stop them, and a funny dialog ensues, basically because of the discrepancy between Hawkmeyer's behavior and accent, and the puzzled stare of the cop. The "Azerbaijani" says they are Iranian, not Irakis, "You are at war with Irak, not Iran," is a line that almost has him arrested for being a spy The other cop is having trouble of his own with the buxom girl he has to frisk (!), but their dialog is spoiled by lines delivered without art, or passion.
By the 24 minute mark, Mother knocks out a pair of girls in a white convertible, who stopped for petrol and I could neither perceive in their attitude enough provocation for such a response, nor any logic in their subsequent disappearance. More seemingly random killings take place: a man and a woman drowned in their swimming pool; and on, and on.
Mother's Mother happens to drop by, and that calls for a flashback to Compton, California, in 1968. Mr. and Mrs. Chin (with a lousy Chinese accent) are assaulted by a girl with a shot-gun and a young man with a pistol who appear at the same time to rob their shop. Instead they opt to have sex, and that was how Mother was born When it's not rock groups appearing in cars with not enough petrol, it's three convicts performing some sort of loud music. Cops loose their uniforms when they go for a swim, but not much comes out of it; the same when they accept an invitation for lunch in an auto caravan by two transsexuals, Fran and Dan, who just end up by doing a singing and dancing number on the road to Las Vegas.
Before the one hour mark, in another flashback, we are told how Mother fought a couple at their home, castrated the man and stabbed the woman to death, and came away with no problem, because she set the house ablaze, and no traces of her were found. Is it too violent? In concept yes, not on camera. The fight between the two biker women is totally one-sided and, again, we're left without a clear reason for the actions of the dark heroine.
What may have been one good idea (may be two) at the beginning, ends in a tragedy for the viewer. It is a long time I did not feel compelled to share my feelings about a film. Today I came back, and not for the best motive.
PS I certify that 90% of the feminine cast are worth while looking at; but the way their looks are wasted by the cameras simply adds to the director's crime.
I bought this movie second hand, and I fear I'll never see my $2.75
The only way this movie got a 7.2 rating is that the production crew have been padding their reviews and votes on here. This film, Killer Biker Chicks, is without a doubt the single worst piece of cinema I've been subjected to since.. well, ever. Cheap production values, poor cinematography, amateur editing and an incoherent plot are the orders of the day with this movie. The actresses do their best with dialog a retarded pig could have written better, but when all else fails they know what to do: whip out the boobs. Don't get me wrong, I love boobs as much as the next guy, but it seems that the director shoved more boobs per film frame than any other director outside of a porno has ever done.
The only thing more laughable than the lack of a story are the blatant gay undertones. The director seems to enjoy watching his co-star (who plays the deputy) in various states of undress and in multiple acts of coitus. Could this be why the female nudity was so blatant? Hmmm...
What were the good points to this movie? Rusty Meyers was the sole comic relief and he was the high point of a film that really should have tried to actually put the Killer Biker Chicks on ACTUAL bikes. Great music from the guy biker gang and the girls are gorgeous. Ted V Mikels had a brief cameo, and it was awesome to see him again, but he looked like he owed someone a favor... the cover art on the DVD was pretty cool, and the midget guy from Jack Ass had a cameo too. BUT, there is no way this film is anything but a huge heaping glass of cinematic gray water.
...just because you can make a movie, doesn't mean you should.
Flush this turd immediately and call your doctor if any symptoms persist.
Delightfully trashy... All that you would expect from a grindhouse film and more. The Nevada desert is teeming with the likes of buxomed-bikers, drug dealers, jail breakers, crooked cops, rival biker gangs and stranded motorists all climaxing in a dive bar at the end of the world. The acting is what you would expect from the exploitation genre (ridiculous in places an inspired in others), while the music is a top notch mix of rockabilly, country and rock n' roll. Like a train wreck, the movie can veer from absurd to brilliant, but you never take your eyes off it. An ultimately fun roller coaster ride of depravity. The title says it all...
Stars : Brenna Roth, Sara French,Trent Haaga, Elske McCain and Ted V
In a Regan Redding flick.
So,It's like a 'Whose who of Shot -On Video ' and very much delivers in gore,bikes and mean girls.
If,You could imagine most manly biker movies and what they got away with in the 1950s,1960s and even in 1980s It's a lot of catching up by the female hog riders.
The biker girls as a whole aren't likable, Excepting of course there looks and figures are most impressive by all.
The victims, Using that term loosely, Are so deserving of the tortures inflicted by the 'Biker Chicks'.
Great title,great cover art with the real actresses posing for it and as mentioned the film succeeds on it's promises and more.
|Ratings||External reviews||Official site|
|Plot keywords||Main details||Your user reviews|
|Your vote history|