- [Clark has forgotten he's Kryptonian. He and Chloe/Lois see a woman on the street being mugged]
- Chloe Sullivan: [as Lois] Aren't you going to do anything?
- Clark Kent: [nods] You're absolutely right, Lois.
- [Clark, bravely, pulls out his phone]
- Clark Kent: Hello, 911?
- Chloe Sullivan: [as Lois] Open the door, Clark.
- Clark Kent: Lois, it's locked! We need a key!
- Chloe Sullivan: Open the damn door, Clark.
- Clark Kent: Lois, if you don't...
- [Clark pulls at the door handle and it breaks off]
- Chloe Sullivan: *Now* do you believe me?
- Clark Kent: [looking at broken handle] What I believe is that this door needs better maintenance. Look at the rust in here. No wonder it just pulled off like that.
- Chloe Sullivan: Okay.
- Clark Kent: Now, we're going to be stuck up here...
- Chloe Sullivan: How about this? Listen. Really listen. What do you hear?
- Clark Kent: That's amazing. The acoustics up here are incredible. It's like there's some perfect echo point right *here*.
- [Chloe/Lois grabs a pipe and swings it at Clark and misses, hits the roof edge]
- Clark Kent: Lois! Have you completely lost your mind? That could have really hurt!
- Chloe Sullivan: No, it... No, it wouldn't, Clark. You've got superspeed and super strength and super-hearing and x-ray vision!
- Clark Kent: And I have a deadline, Lois. Now, please, if you would excuse me, I need to find a way to get off this roof. Unless my superpowers include an ability... to fly.
- Zatanna Zatara: Bravo. You found my book *and* pull it off in style.
- Green Arrow: I wish I could say I've had the pleasure.
- Zatanna Zatara: Oh, please, Oliver. Ask a billionaire for help, and then a vigilante steals *exactly* what I ask for? You need to work on your sleight of hand.
- Oliver Queen: [Takes his mask off] Yeah...
- Clark Kent: Why'd you wait so long to tell me what was going on?
- Chloe Sullivan: Well, let's face it, Clark. My life has been a little less than desirable lately. I mean, with Jimmy and everything.
- Clark Kent: Chloe...
- Chloe Sullivan: And I can't deny there's an appeal to the dynamic duo's weekly adventures.
- Clark Kent: Well, you haven't missed much. Things haven't exactly been smooth between us lately.
- Chloe Sullivan: Look, I know you don't wanna open a can of Kryptonian worms by telling her your secret. But whether you like it or not, Lois Lane is a part of your life now. And considering the nonstop puppy dog eyes you give her, I'm guessing you don't mind much at all.
- [seeing his look]
- Chloe Sullivan: Clark, just because you were burned once doesn't mean that you can't give it a second chance.
- Clark Kent: Are we still talking about me? Or are we talking about you and Jimmy?
- Chloe Sullivan: Touché. Okay. I'm talking about neither of us living in the past. You can never be who you wanna be if you're always looking over your shoulder at what could have been.
- Zatanna Zatara: It's what he did for me. He wasn't meant to die. I owe him this. I know the rules. A life for a life. I have to make it right. I'm not afraid.
- Clark Kent: Do you really think your father would want you to give up the life he gave you to bring him back?
- Zatanna Zatara: What would you know about losing the one man that made you who you are?
- Clark Kent: The day I lost my father, I thought my world would never be the same. It felt like something had been ripped away from me forever. But I had to let him go.
- Clark Kent: You haven't insulted me once yet today. And you actually crossed at the crosswalk. Did Jeff not bring you your coffee today?
- Chloe Sullivan: Uh, let's just say I rolled out of bed on the right side. It's amazing how much more you can see with fresh eyes. So, anything else you wanna tell me...
- [she trips, and she catches him]
- Clark Kent: What's the look for?
- Chloe Sullivan: Uh... you just never looked at me that way before.
- Lois Lane: Little blonde sources tell me that you don't mind my assertive flair. Let me see it.
- Clark Kent: Lois, I don't know what you're talking about.
- Lois Lane: You have a terrible poker face, Smallville.
- [getting up from her desk and sitting on the corner of his]
- Lois Lane: Gimme, gimme.
- [he reluctantly hands over the list of her rules that he framed]
- Lois Lane: Wow. Who would have know you were this sentimental? I think we should hang it up so that everyone can see it.
- Clark Kent: [taking it back] This is a memento from my first day on the job. And a constant reminder there's only one Lois Lane.
- Lois Lane: You better believe it.
- Zatanna Zatara: Rough birthday, huh?
- Chloe Sullivan: You ever seen the napalm scene in Apocalypse Now? More fire, less cake.
- Clark Kent: [the spell that turned Chloe into Lois wears off] Chloe? Wait, but that's...
- Chloe Sullivan: Impossible? Only in your mind. Sometimes you just need a little leap of faith.
- Chloe Sullivan: Ollie, when did this happen? One day I'm on the fast track for my dream career as the intrepid reporter, and then I blink and all of a sudden, I'm this underqualified shrink for meteor-infected kids who will probably wake up to be psycho killers, while Lois and Clark are walking the beach with matching press passes together. Oh, and did I mention that I was actually able to hold on to "happily ever after" for about 2.3 seconds before my marriage imploded?
- Oliver Queen: Is this the part where you belt out the soprano's aria and drive a dagger into your corset?
- Chloe Sullivan: Right. Sorry for the operetta. It's just, I would love to know how she does it.
- Oliver Queen: You know, Chloe, if I didn't know you any better, I'd say there was a hint of jealousy in there.
- Chloe Sullivan: No. It's just... with all these Debbie ups and downers lately, it... I guess it would be really nice to leave it all behind and be back in the bullpen.
- Green Arrow: [after knocking out two guards at Luthercorp] Sorry, guys. I'll make sure you get a nice Christmas bonus.
- Clark Kent: How gullible do you think i am, Lois?
- Chloe Sullivan: I'm Chloe.
- Clark Kent: Right. At first i had trouble telling you two apart, as well. But Lois is the tall one.
- Chloe Sullivan: You just acknowledged I was Chloe before our run-in with Zatanna. She bippity-boppity-booed you, too!
- Lois Lane: So, how long did it take for you to realize that I wasn't my usual charming self?
- Clark Kent: Well, I have to admit, I should have picked upon it sooner. You weren't as bossy as usual. And Chloe let me drive.
- Lois Lane: [giving Chloe a birthday cupcake] Hey! One year closer to the sweet release of death.
- Chloe Sullivan: How wonderfully morbid.
- Chloe Sullivan: So everything's okay with you in Mexico, Lois?
- Lois Lane: Everything's great, except for government oppression and slave labor. Why?
- Clark Kent: Lois?
- Chloe Sullivan: Thank god. Clark.
- Clark Kent: You couldn't have been deported that quickly. Why aren't you in Mexico?
- Chloe Sullivan: Here's the thing. I never made it to Mexico.
- Clark Kent: Right. Can this wait until after your post-lunch, pre-dinner, after-coffee snack break?
- Clark Kent: Lois, are you all right?
- Chloe Sullivan: No, I am definitely not all right.
- Clark Kent: [his computer beeps] Well, this should help. Police standoff. Main and 5th. Grab your jacket.
- [heading out]
- Clark Kent: Isn't this the part where you tell me to saddle up?
- Chloe Sullivan: Start your engines... Smallville.
- Oliver Queen: Now, why do I get the feeling you're not my 10:00 from the steel union?
- Zatanna Zatara: [offering a handshake] Zatanna. We weren't properly introduced.
- Oliver Queen: Zatanna. You lose a bet with that name?
- Clark Kent: You just woke up like this? How did I not pick up on it sooner?
- Chloe Sullivan: Forget about it. This is my Shakespearean nightmare. Not yours.
- [trying to open a locked door]
- Chloe Sullivan: Although it has been oddly illuminating.
- Oliver Queen: Ready?
- Chloe Sullivan: Ready as you are.
- Oliver Queen: Yeah. Chloe. This will mean leaving your old life as a reporter behind. You sure you wanna say goodbye to that forever?
- Chloe Sullivan: You know, yesterday, I wouldn't have been able to answer that question. But after spending the day at the Daily Planet, I realized... that's someone else's life.
- Oliver Queen: You know, it's interesting, everyone seems to have so much clarity after a dose of the Zatanna dust. Almost makes me wish I had my turn at the magic lamp, too.
- Chloe Sullivan: I'll save you the heel blisters. You already know what you really want. We all do. We just don't listen.
- Oliver Queen: [taking a Bluetooth earpiece] And you're sure this is it?
- Chloe Sullivan: This is where I belong.
- Oliver Queen: What is this? You drop by to kick my ass again? So much fun for me the first time.
- Zatanna Zatara: I came to apologize. I just...
- Oliver Queen: Bound by steel. Right? That's what you said to be backwards. Bound by steel? I had plenty of time to mull that over when you, uh, you left me there strung up to either die or have my identity revealed.
- Zatanna Zatara: I can't ever totally make it up to you or your friends, but I would like to try to make sure that something like this doesn't happen again.
- Oliver Queen: Here's a thought. Don't do it again.
- Oliver Queen: I know how difficult the sacrifices you made must have been. Especially considering how hell-bent you were on getting what you wanted. Well, anyway, in the end you made the tough choice, and, um... I can respect that.
- Zatanna Zatara: Just know that there are far more dangerous people out there in the world than me. People with much greater control of the genuinely nasty magics than I do. So...
- [giving him what looks like a tarot card]
- Zatanna Zatara: ...if you ever run into my kind of mischief again... call me. And wherever I am, this time, I'm on your side.
- Oliver Queen: So I guess this means you're taking your show on the road.
- Zatanna Zatara: Thinking about taking a little bit of time off to... do some light reading. If I'm ever gonna do my father proud, I've got a lot of catching up to do.
- Oliver Queen: Uh, so... what, what is this, exactly? Some kind of magic spell to summon you? I just hold it up, say your name a couple times and, uh, poof, you appear?
- Zatanna Zatara: It's my phone number.
- Clark Kent: Peace offering for missing your party.
- Chloe Sullivan: Casualties of being a hero. Not everyone could have punched through Zatanna's whammy and saved the day.
- Clark Kent: I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you for reminding me who I really am.
- Chloe Sullivan: Yeah, I guess rebooting your superhero OS rekindled the Chloe fire. Looks like, uh, hero support isn't just a day job anymore. And for that...
- [taking the bag of food]
- Chloe Sullivan: ...we eat bagels.
- Chloe Sullivan: Do you remember everything?
- Clark Kent: If you're referring to the "just the facts, ma'am" routine...
- [nodding]
- Clark Kent: It did feel as though a weight had been lifted.
- Chloe Sullivan: Hmm. It must have been hard to harness up again.
- Clark Kent: To be honest, a life without responsibility kind of felt empty. I mean, this is who I am, Chloe. Every morning, I wake up with a purpose.
- Chloe Sullivan: Yeah, you're not the only one who saw the world through irony-colored glasses.
- Chloe Sullivan: Clark, you're the only person who can get up there and put an end to this right now.
- Clark Kent: Look, I know what you're gonna say, but...
- Chloe Sullivan: No, Clark. There are no "buts" with you. No exception to the rule. Now, super-leap up there and stop her.
- Clark Kent: Look, I don't know. It...
- Chloe Sullivan: Yeah, okay. Okay, Clark, you don't have to know. If you won't believe in yourself, then let me believe in you. Okay? I know that deep inside, you don't wanna just be a normal guy sitting behind a desk reporting on disasters while you could be out there stopping them. Now, use the power you feel. The world needs *you*.
- Yuri: You mind telling me who you are?
- Chloe Sullivan: Lois Lane, Daily Planet. I'm sorry, we thought you were under some kind of... spell?
- Clark Kent: Well, she did.
- Yuri: You know.
- Chloe Sullivan: We know Zatanna gave you a wish in exchange for some information on a book.
- Yuri: I never should have told her how to find that book. I'm afraid she's too blinded by her grief to see the danger that she's in.
- Clark Kent: Say this woman does know magic. What sort of danger are you talking about?
- Yuri: She must be stopped from using that book to resurrect her father. She isn't prepared to make the sacrifice.
- Clark Kent: What kind of sacrifice?
- Yuri: From what I could decipher, the incantation to bring a life back required the taking of a life in return.
- Clark Kent: So in order to bring her father back, someone else must die.
- Yuri: A life for a life. A soul for a soul.
- Oliver Queen: You know, this isn't just a how-to guide on upping your stage presence. There's some really dark stuff in here, Zatanna.
- Zatanna Zatara: You don't get it. The sick irony of my ability is that I can grant so many wishes. Everyone's but mine.
- [he moves to throw it into the fire]
- Zatanna Zatara: No! Please... don't. It's the only way I can bring my father back.
- Oliver Queen: I'm sorry.
- [he tosses it in, but she summons it before it reaches the flames]
- Oliver Queen: Not good.
- Chloe Sullivan: Right before we walked in there, you were just complaining about how easy it would be if you could just forget the whole hero-alien-everything weird side and were just a regular, mundane reporter living a normal life.
- Clark Kent: If something seems to weird to be true, it usually is.
- [seeing she's confused]
- Clark Kent: It's rule number four.
- Chloe Sullivan: [still confused] What?
- Clark Kent: [taking a picture frame out of his desk drawer] "Lois Lane's Rules of Reporting." Come on. Like you'd never let me forget.
- Chloe Sullivan: And you framed this?
- [trying to get back on topic]
- Chloe Sullivan: Look, you said you wanted only one of your double lives. And whether you meant it or not, the spell thought you did.
- Clark Kent: Exactly what other life is it I'm supposed to have, Lois?
- Zatanna Zatara: It won't be much longer, father.
- Clark Kent: Much longer for what?
- Zatanna Zatara: I'm sorry. Have we met?
- Chloe Sullivan: Does an enchanted cupcake ring any bells?
- Zatanna Zatara: You were the birthday girl.
- Clark Kent: You need to reverse the curse that you put on Chloe.
- Zatanna Zatara: Curse? Is that what you think happened? You kind of got things backwards. I granted you a wish.
- Chloe Sullivan: And why on earth would I wish myself into this?
- Zatanna Zatara: Beats me. I don't write the magics, honey. I just use them. Now, I'm not saying this is your heart's deepest desire. But in that moment, this is what you wanted.
- Chloe Sullivan: Okay, just for a second. Maybe I was little jealous of Lois living my dream life with Clark at the Planet, but I didn't literally want her life. Not like this.
- Zatanna Zatara: Well, don't worry. It will wear off as soon as you don't want it anymore.
- Chloe Sullivan: Fine. I don't want it.
- Zatanna Zatara: You keep telling yourself that.
- Clark Kent: Listen, what I said about Jimmy...
- Chloe Sullivan: You're an equal opportunity good guy. I get it. I guess I'm just not used to seeing you from this perspective. By the way, "Tales of the Weird and Unexplained"? Nice callback.
- Clark Kent: I thought it might bring you back to a time when, you know, things were...
- Chloe Sullivan: Weird and unexplained? You sound like you miss it.
- Clark Kent: I don't know. It's just that there's a whole half of my life where this happens, every day. Weird has become so normal, it's not even weird anymore. Honestly, I like what I'm doing at the Planet now. But I would be lying if I said that there weren't days when I wish I could forget about saving the world and just be a normal reporter.
- Chloe Sullivan: [he easily opens the door] Well, for now, how about you not stick to your day job?
- Police Officer: Nut job up there on the fire escape, he owns Yuri's Antiques over on Main Street. He's been babbling in Latin all day.
- [to "Lois", as he leaves]
- Police Officer: Hey, I'll see you on Friday.
- Chloe Sullivan: [listening to Yuri rant] Woman... magic cursed on. Book brings death.
- Clark Kent: Since when did you speak Latin?
- Yuri: Zatanna! Zatanna!
- Chloe Sullivan: Zatanna. Clark! I bet it is that same witchy woman who did this to me. Now, I know where she's performing tonight. Maybe you can superspeed over to this antique shop and dust off any leads.
- Clark Kent: [surprised that "Lois" knows his secret] Superspeed? We didn't even bring a car.
- Chloe Sullivan: What?
- [realizing]
- Chloe Sullivan: It's okay. I'm Chloe.
- [Clark is still confused]
- Chloe Sullivan: "Stood her up at formal" Chloe? "Planted one on you because Zod was ending the world" Chloe? "Krypton, Jor-El, Fortress, Braniac" Chloe!
- Clark Kent: [recognizing her] Chloe.
- Chloe Sullivan: Bingo! And just like that raving wardrobe malfunction over there, some magician showed up at my birthday party in fishnets and hexed me, but you'd know that if you hadn't skipped it to answer voicemails from Lois. Not that I'm dwelling.
- Oliver Queen: You mind telling me what drives a lovely young woman such as yourself to track down an unsuspecting CEO at a nightclub and then again at his office?
- Zatanna Zatara: I need your help.
- Oliver Queen: You don't scream "charity case".
- Zatanna Zatara: My father left me an estate in Shadowcrest, so money isn't an object.
- Oliver Queen: Shadowcrest.
- [realizing]
- Oliver Queen: John Zatara? The maestro of magic? He was your father?
- [she nods]
- Oliver Queen: Well, I'm sorry. I know what it's like to lose family.
- Zatanna Zatara: Yeah. I lost more than my father. I lost his entire legacy recorded in a book that's been passed down through generations. There's a Bible's worth of my heritage in those pages. When my father died, Mr. Luthor acquired that book at auction.
- Oliver Queen: Well, no offense, Zatanna, but, uh, you're the daughter of the world's greatest magician. Can't you just, I don't know, wiggle your nose and pull it out of a hat or something?
- Oliver Queen: You okay?
- Chloe Sullivan: Yeah. Birthdays just make me a little reflective.
- Oliver Queen: What do you say we get you out of your head and into the party, huh? Come on.
- Chloe Sullivan: [entering the party and seeing Lois having a good time] See? Case in point. That was supposed to be my life.