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Cinematic Titanic: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (2008)

The children of Mars are in a funk, so Martian King Kimar comes up with a solution: kidnap Santa Claus and bring him to their planet. Poorly conceived, sloppily made, and unfailingly ... See full summary »

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The children of Mars are in a funk, so Martian King Kimar comes up with a solution: kidnap Santa Claus and bring him to their planet. Poorly conceived, sloppily made, and unfailingly bizarre, this is the ultimate Christmas movie-riffing classic, which is why Cinematic Titanic chose to revisit, re-riff, and release this holiday hamfest with all new jokes. Merry Crap-mas! Written by Anonymous

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December 2008 (USA)  »

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Followed by Cinematic Titanic: Blood of the Vampires (2009) See more »

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Better than the MST3K Episode...
29 December 2008 | by (United Kingdom) – See all my reviews

But before I get to that, I think it's important to know where this review is coming from. It's coming from an obsessive MST3K fan of nearly 20 years who owns every single episode on self-made DVDs (Not counting the Rhino releases, which I bought. Support the creators!), and can quote episodes at length. Basically, I am a huge nerd and I know what I'm talking about.

I was worried to hear that Joel and his new (old?) crew were revisiting this classic, as I thought every joke that could be made about this material had been made. This seemed to be a recipe for lameness, and frankly, it seemed to me that Joel was just desperate to get the MSTies on board the Cinematic Titanic. How wrong I was. This CT release is excellent, and it stands on it's own merits. As I said, better than the original. Only just. But the riffs fly fast, they are completely on target, and they don't repeat a single joke from the MST3K episode. Even when I wanted them to. I know the original so well that I can hear the 'bots in my head, and I have to admit that there were times of silence where the CT crew had no joke to make, because MST3K nailed it perfectly the first time. In these moments of silence, my memory filled in the blanks.

As I said, the jokes are fast and funny, and it's great to see some current references in there. The funniest being an internet meme that shows up when Kimar attacks Dropo with the "Tickle Ray". The joke that was there before, "Stop! I can't fake-laugh anymore!" Has been replaced with what I thought was the funniest joke of the show.

It's also interesting to see the entire unedited film, even if it is staggeringly awful. The "Chochum" sequence is greatly extended, and it's so painful. Really deep hurting. But they make the best of it, and they turn pain to laughter, much like the magic of Santa Claus.

On a side note, Mary Jo really shines in this episode. Her laid back, almost disinterested delivery is perfect, and it's really great to hear her riffing. She has some of the best jokes of the episode. I'll be especially looking forward to her contributions in the future.

All in all, a stellar release. The MST3K version is required Christmas watching in my home, and has been for nearly 10 years.

And it has just been replaced with this version.

Great job, guys.


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