"The L Word" Least Likely (TV Episode 2009) Poster

(TV Series)



[Helena attacks Dylan in the parking lot outside the nightclub]

Helena Peabody: I don't give a fuck whose idea it was to sue me! Yours or Danny's! The point is, you took part in it! You manipulated my emotions! You used me! You humiliated me, and you must be fucking insane to think you can just prance in here and act as if nothing ever happened, telling me that you're happy, telling me that you're out of the closet, telling me that you're oh, so sorry for destroying my fucking life! Fuck you!

Dylan Moreland: Thank you! Now I know you care.

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Alice Pieszecki: Okay, so basically, that skankball Dylan Moreland almost ruined Helena's life. First, she pretended to be in love with her so she and her boyfriend, Danny, could sue Helena for sexual harassment and extort millions of dollars from her. Can you believe it? So... her mother gets so mad that she cuts Helena off, and she has to move in with me and become a cook.

Helena Peabody: I was a caterer.

Alice Pieszecki: Which was a disaster, and let's face it, Helena is used to a certain standard of living. She was born rich, with a gold spoon in her mouth. So, she meets this shady high-roller lady, named Catherine. They hook up, but she uses Helena and takes all her money, and when Helena takes it back, and we still don't know where she buried it, she gets arrested for embezzlement, thrown into prison, and has to share a cell with some killer!

Helena Peabody: Her name was Dusty, and she was in for tax fraud.

Alice Pieszecki: Fine! So, Helena's mother can't take it anymore. She bails Helena out of prison, but she doesn't want to live under her mother's thumb anymore, so she springs Dusty from jail, they go abroad to Taha, which she doesn't ever want to talk about since Dusty still hides out over there. So, it couldn't have been great, right?

Helena Peabody: Right.

Alice Pieszecki: Anyway, her mother gets stung by some jellyfish while scuba diving, and grants Helena's wealth back again. All of this because of this woman.

Tasha Williams: [to Helena] You want me to kick her ass?

Helena Peabody: No. Thank you.

Tasha Williams: You're a better person than me. I would beat a bitch down if she ever did something like that to me.

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