Movie 43 (2013) Poster


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Find the humor in public defecation, a fifteen year old's menstrual cycle, Halle Berry degrading herself, and incestuous relationships before seeing this film
Steve Pulaski26 January 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Movie 43 is a collection of twelve short films starring twenty-five big name celebrities and not containing even a fraction of the laughs in its ninety-seven minute runtime. Connected in a disjointed manner and baiting the audience by a filled cast, this is one of the most unpleasant times at the movies one could have. Not since Garry Marshall's Valentine's Day have we seen so many shining actors succumb to such joylessly impotent material. Only this time, the material is not only impotent, but crass and well over the line of reprehensibility to the point where one shakes their head and assures their inner-self to walk out of the theater, walk to the nearest video store and rent as many foreign films as they can carry.

Before I go into any of the shorts, let's have a small and formal discussion about offensiveness. At no point was I ever personally offended by anything Movie 43 had to offer, mainly because its attitude to offend in every way possible was distracting and artificial. When looking at the past films I've seen that were deemed "offensive" by some, say, Team America: World Police, there was not only fun in its premise, but satire in its writing.

The outlying story concerns Dennis Quaid, a desperate man who is pitching a film idea to Greg Kinnear, a filmmaker looking to strike a deal. Quaid will be the one introducing all the setups to Kinnear, and we'll return to the two men after every short to watch Kinnear's contrived reaction and Quaid's facile justification. Let's begin.

In the first short, how funny is it to see Kate Winslet and Hugh Jackman go on a date, with everyone being oblivious to the large scrotum attached to his neck except for Winslet? How funny is it when Jackman accidentally gets pubic hair in his soup, and puts his neck-scrotum on a baby's forehead? The next short shows Shameless's Jeremy Allen White as a homeschooled teenager being tormented and manipulated by his parents who are trying to recreate the dangers and turmoils of high school. When the poor kid's mother tries to instigate incestuous sex with her son I wanted to leave the theater and never turn back. But such a thing didn't happen.

We then watch Chris Pratt and Anna Faris, who are both married in real life, as a young couple on a romantic date when Faris pops the question; "will you poop on me?" she asks her boyfriend. I refuse to comment on where this goes. We are then given the awkward short of a supermarket employee (Kieran Culkin) confessing all the dirty and depraved details of his relationship to his ex-girlfriend (Emma Stone) while accidentally leaving the PA system on, as a crowd of anxious shoppers forms to watch this travesty unfold. Next comes Richard Gere as the boss of a corporation called "iBabe," which is a music player that is a lifelike naked woman, drumming up heaps of controversy. Then a speed dating event involving Batman and Robin (Jason Sudeikis and Justin Long) and Kristen Bell's "Supergirl," who is ostracized for having an unusually large vagina.

But probably the most heartless, offensive short of them all involves poor little Chloë Grace Moretz, who is hanging out with her boyfriend at his home when she experiences her first period. As she is dripping blood as if she has just been stabbed, her boyfriend's older brother (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) helplessly runs around the house screaming and searching for things to clog her uterus (frozen peas and a sponge, anyone?). What follows is a dopey Leprechaun predicament involving Seann William Scott and Johnny Knoxville, a basketball game where Coach Terrence Howard tells his team that because they are facing a white team and they are all black they will win the game, and we end on a shallow and empty-headed note as we expected.

The only short I neglected to mention is called "Truth or Dare," starring Halle Berry on a blind date where she initiates a game of truth or dare, which goes on to become a disgusting and repetitive affair. Berry crushes guacamole with her breast (a prosthetic, I assure you) and inserts extra-hot hot sauce into herself with a turkey baster.

I can't fathom the thought that I'm explaining this as elaborately as I am. Did the seventeen writers and twelve directors (among them, Peter Farrelly, Elizabeth Banks, Brett Ratner, and Bob Odenkirk) have an ounce of self-awareness to the humor that made their past films work? How did they manage to allow their cast of champions to succumb to demeaning, scatological, desperately unfunny filth? Before you claim the actors did the job for the money, I must inform you that Movie 43 is reported in only costing $6 million to make (excluding marketing costs which I'm willing to bet are ten times more), so that argument is almost wholly invalid. Were they genuinely smitten by the idea and the script of it all, or did they just feel that they all played their careers safe and decided to challenge their comfort zones and the harmless audiences' by attempting to push boundaries? I left the multiplex knowing three things today I had not previously grasped; number one, the spoof/skit genre is uniformly dead, and can not even be revived by a large group of directors, writers, and actors, all reliable and capable. Number two, to not get high hopes for a comedy with large names being released in the month of January. Number three, that in no way, shape, form, or instance is a woman's menstrual cycle funny and to victimize a fifteen year old actress is a simple act of cruelty.

On a final note, why is Movie 43 called "Movie 43?" Who knows, who cares?
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I would be embarrassed if I were starring in this movie
imhlong30 January 2013
I have to be honest- I walked into this movie with pretty low expectations to begin with. It is only on a rare occasion anymore that I actually buy a ticket for a movie with any hope that it might actually provide entertainment, which is a shame. This movie, however, just lowered the bar- by a LOT. Hands down one of the worst movies that I've ever seen- and that's saying something. It is just a gaggle of actors working on an acid-trip of a script. Every bit of comedy is based on shock value, which wears thin on your patience very early on. It's gross, lewd, and utterly lacking of any wit or connection with the audience. I cannot, in good conscience, recommend this to anyone- as I nearly went up to the box office and demanded a refund. It isn't even that I'm a prude or hate gross-out humor, I'm 18 for crying out loud- I just have the ability to recognize when someone put actual effort and thought into making a movie funny and when Hollywood is laughing AT US, instead of vice versa. Miss this one. 1/10
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Funny !? Really?
nils-591-18177426 January 2013
After a misleading Trailer I gave this "Comedy" a chance. To be honest this is the worst movie I have ever seen. You can only laugh about the "jokes" if you still have the humor of a 14 year old who is just reaching puberty. Seriously. Every joke is based on penis, pussy, flat sex and even shitting on your partner. Even the allusions towards other movies are so horribly done that there is no way to compare this level with a Tarantino style.

If this is how the Hollywoods "Crème de la Crème" defines self-irony they have lost all my respect.

In Short: A Vicarious Embarrassment
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I don't really take life too seriously, so....
I don't know, maybe I just have a strange sense of humor, but I thought this movie was funny. I always find it funny when serious actors do slapstick roles. I watched it several times and I still find it funny. I say if you like movies like Airplane or Blazing Saddles, just a hell of a lot nastier and rude, then this is the movie for you.
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retiredwire25 January 2013
I have never written a review before, but I feel that writing one is the best way to clean my mind of the crappy film I have witnessed. This movie was extremely awful. The humor attempts to be "offending", but it instead sounds like something an 8th grader finds humorous. In fact, even an 8th grader would tire of the pathetic nonsense that is Movie 43.

The plot centers around two teenagers that make up an outrageous picture. However, I've heard it's different for other parts of the world. I'm currently in the UK, so the kids wraparound is what I saw. Their little brother looks for it on the world wide web and ends up finding lots of clips that we get the displeasure of seeing. There's one called "The Catch" where Kate Winslet goes on a blind date with Hugh Jackman. However, get this: Hugh Jackman has penises where penises aren't supposed to be! Just hear the crickets sing. I can hear the screenwriter just laughing and laughing as he adds more unfunny jokes about poop and semen.

Also, the hilarious basketball sketch where they comment on the fact that basketball players are mostly black! Wow! It's so funny! Naked women and iPads! It's funny too!

In short, Movie 43 is a disjointed mess, full of lousy jokes, terrible writing, and actors that no doubt deserve to be in something else. Now, I'm going to rally up Best Actor/Actresses winners to be in my new screenplay, "Boners of Fire". Just kidding, of course. I'm not THAT evil.
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Misleading trailer
thedarksteps25 January 2013
Warning: Spoilers
I was hoping that someone was finally going to cater to those of us with depraved senses of humor, I loved the trailer and wanted to see this so bad that I went to the 10:30 showing on Thursday the 24th. The first skit was moderately funny, but the rest, well... if you've seen the trailers then you've seen the funniest parts already. No point paying $8+ to see this thing.

Fortunately for me, I work at a movie theater and didn't drop a dime on it, making it that much easier to walk out on it. I had just seen the Best of Rifftrax one showing earlier and I laughed more at it than I did Movie 43. SNL is funnier and I hate SNL. When I got home I had to put on something really funny to cleanse my palette of this Cleveland steamer.

I love the kind of humor contained in the trailer so I'm not one of those people putting this movie down because it's extremely lowbrow. If Haunted House is still showing and you have to choose between this and it, choose Haunted House, this movie isn't worth what Anna Farris wants her fiancé to do.

The movie should be considered a spoiler for the trailer instead of vice versa.
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Do not waste a single minute of your life watching this movie
jennifer-592-41842426 January 2013
Warning: Spoilers
The worst movie I have ever seen in my life.

Truly disgusting on all levels. Makes you wonder what kind of world this is that we live in.

There was a line at the customer service desk - everyone asking for their money back.

I was thinking that a support group might be necessary for those subjected to the disgraceful chain of events that took place in this horrid movie.

You'd be better off staying at home watching a blank screen than to watch a single minute of this waste of a film.

P.S. I have never written a review. We were so disturbed we went to a local bar and got drunk!
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Don't write this movie off!
paint_it_purple30 January 2013
What is wrong with people?!?! This movie was HILARIOUS! A certain branch of humour admittedly, but hilarious nonetheless! Lighten up and laugh at yourselves! You either love this movie or hate it, judging by the votes and comments, but I loved it, and many others will too - so give it a chance and watch, don't just read the bad reviews. I probably wouldn't have bothered to watch either if I'd read the reviews on here first, but I'm so glad I did! The movie content blurs the boundaries between the surreal and reality and takes the P out of society and ourselves. 'You couldn't make that up' scenes that really happen - unbelievably! The hair-gel scene in There's Something About Mary and the toilet scene in Dumb and Dumber - these are the kinds of sequences that make up movie 43. Yes, they're disgusting, but they do happen, and you have to laugh about the ridiculousness of it all!
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It's good. Sorry guys, it's good.
Drude Farnsworth29 January 2013
Warning: Spoilers
You all are full of it.

Look, Movie 43 is not a masterpiece of American cinema. But it doesn't even try to be that. Quit fooling yourselves into thinking you're better than the film. It is nothing more than what it is: tasteless, raunchy, gut-wrenching laughable humor. Yes, in fact I did say gut-wrenching laughter. I laughed my ass off through most of the movie. Why? Because it was funny.

Yes, it was funny. Don't you all remember the days of Monty Python and Airplane! and There's Something About Mary and Scary Movie? Whatever happened to the light-hearted movies of decades ago, where it was more important to make light of life and just about everything in it rather than pander to some sort of artistic elite? Screw them! I still love Benny Hill! Hollywood has been full of itself for far, far too long. We are tired of every movie under the sun that we see having to be so serious and making some kind of a "social statement" or having some sort of modern-style realism. Enough. We want to laugh. We want to have fun. We want to find ourselves engrossed in the basest of the human experience because, well, that's something we all share in common with one another. The animal experience of human nature is just as important as our intellectual and psychological experience. Don't ever forget that.

Every movie doesn't need to be over-analyzed with 50 paragraphs of explanation on how much you hate it. Has America become so sexually repressed that even the mere mention of sex, or seeing a nude body on the big screen, makes everyone automatically challenge the context of the sexuality? Some things are just as they seem -- indulgences which make us proud to be adults and experience adult humor. If you want to laugh at pompous violence and style, go see Tarantino's latest flick. If you want to laugh at something unfunny, try any of the latest Renée Zellweger or Meryl Streep borefest. Perhaps you all give Sasha Cohen a pass because at least his raunchy stories are "coherent"? Who cares? A movie is not bad simply because it does not conform to the Hollywood norm, nor is it bad simply because you don't think it was deep enough. I thought almost everybody in the picture (many talented actors and actresses) did a fine job making us laugh. I was on the floor for half of the movie, and my wife enjoyed it just as much as I did. Have you all forgotten how to just let go and enjoy the moment? Wake up, guys. There are plenty of genuinely bad movies out there. This is not one of them.
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Makes you reconsider Twilight as a good movie
Tim van der Ploeg26 February 2013
After seeing the movie I just can't help but wonder why all those movie stars agreed doing this? Sitting through the entire movie made me feel very proud, afterward i felt really stupid.

The main plot was terrible. I'm not going to explain anything because I don't want people spending their money on this and frankly I couldn't pay attention anymore. The funny jokes you already saw in the preview and since you see them coming a mile away and the movie is an enormous buzz kill you won't even laugh. If you do decide to go to Movie 43, prepare to sit back, yawn, roll your eyes and if you're lucky you have to go to the bathroom twice. I encourage you to get drunk.

A special mention goes to Gerard Butler, who as a leprechaun does the best work of his career in a segment so stupid it makes you want to kick every leprechaun you will never see.

This was by far the worst movie I've seen in a while.
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god awful
stevenwheeler1024 January 2013
Warning: Spoilers
don't go see this movie....EVER!!!!! if you like movies that waste your money and you possibly want to ruin your first date with scenes that will make you and your "companion" uncomfortable, then please watch this movie. I can only assume this movie was made for people who enjoy poo, balls, and cats jerking off to pictures of their owners. now it may seem funny at first but believe me when i say this movie sucked. Now with that said i laughed harder walking out making fun of the movie then i did for the entire one hour and thirty minutes of painfully awkward moments. other then that though it did had a really good cast, even though it seemed like this might of been a movie for them to just let off some steam and not be so serious. DON'T GO SEE THIS MOVIE.....PLEASE.
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Just No.
Becca Weasley25 January 2013
A group of Irish Monks needs to make payments on their belfry, so they decide to sell flowers to make money. For weeks they sell flowers, and it's going well. Too well in fact, they've begun to run the local florist, Patty O'Flannigan out of town. Well, a bit cheesed at the monks jumping in on his territory, he decides to confront them. He asks them to step off, politely, but they simply respond that, "That's no way to talk to men of God!", and throw him out of their monastery. For weeks this goes on, the monks selling flowers, and the florist getting more and more desperate to make them stop. Finally, he goes to Hugh Mactaggart, the biggest, baddest man in town -- he could get anyone to leave town -- so Patty decides he's the best way to get rid of the monks, gives him the rest of the money, and retires to bed, wary of the results. In the morning, a knock on his door reveals Mactaggart, offering a firm handshake and saying, "They shan't be botherin' ya again Patty." The moral of the story is, Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

I tell you this joke because it is infinitely funnier than the entirety of Movie 43.
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Worst movie I have EVER seen
tleez2226 January 2013
I don't know what is wrong with the previous reviewer of this movie but apparently he/she is blind, deaf or was reading a book during this movie. It is simply awful. And by the way, the synopsis on this site isn't even close to being correct. The plot is a guy (Dennis Quaid) who is trying to pitch his many ridiculous movie ideas to a studio exec (Greg Kinnear). As Quaid is apparently describing them to Kinnear, a clip of the movie is shown to the audience. The ideas are completely absurd, uninspired and not at all funny in any way. It's a shame that all these top-name actors are so desperate for money to make such a film. Bigger shame is they won't get a dime! Save your money and your valuable time and don't see this movie!
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Dumb, Dumb, and Dumber
simonebogar28 June 2016
I would pay money to not see this movie. Honestly, these wonderful actors deserve a better plot line and script.I was disappointed that so many of my favorite actors where in it. Its just a disgusting film. In reality, most of the actors were forced to act in this due to legalities and contracts. Also,a good rule of thumb: do not see a movie where the top three words to describe it are the following: shame, embarrassment, and gross-out. Why would a director think it would be a good idea to throw in a scene where parents sexually harass their kid? Regardless of humorous intent, this film is mean. Please do not let your kids see this movie, unless you want to have to deal with the repercussions.
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Hands down the worst movie I've every seen!
LouD7725 January 2013
I can't believe how bad this movie was. It's amazing to me that they got such high quality actors to take part in this piece of garbage. I can usually find some redeeming quality in most movies no matter how bad they are, but this is just a pile of crap. I almost asked for my money back. There wasn't one good thing about this. How on Earth did this movie get made. I'm shocked at how bad it was. How did someone hold a gun to the heads of all these talented actors to get this movie made. I can't say enough bad things about this. Wow! It even mentioned "Howard the Duck" as a bad movie. So, they know about bad movies. This will probably take the place of "Howard the Duck" as the worst movie of all time.
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Worst movie I've seen. Description and trailer are a lie.
Monika St20 February 2013
Omg, I'm very open person but for the first time I went out of a movie after 30minutes. Feeling sick. We didn't know what to do with ourselves. Went to a shop to buy anything and everything to reset our brains. :) I just made an account here, only to express that it is simply not fair! I feel cheated. How people can lie so much in the description of the movie. I can't believe those actors took part in it. What a shame. Why? Why! This is only for people who laughs at obscenities and profanity. And defecation. But if you surprisingly don't, it's not funny at all. I was waiting for any story behind it but.. no. There was nothing there.

Wait for a DVD or sth if all those negative reviews made you interested. Really don't pay for the cinema ticket. Really.
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Movies like this are the reason IMDb should allow a 0 rating
jonsefcik24 May 2017
Wow, just wow. I'm astonished. I've seen over a thousand movies in my life, and out of all of them, this is the worst. Its worse than The Garbage Pail Kids Movie, After Last Season, and Ren Seeks Help. This is the worst, most pointless, hollow, and lazy excuse for a theatrical feature I've ever seen. There is no vision or creativity here, its literally just a bunch of unrelated 5-minute skits. I could at least give this movie some credit if the skits were funny at all, but they're not. They're all disgusting and repulsive. As I sat through the first skit, I was like "well that sucked, maybe the next one will be better". After the next four, I was like "well maybe one of them will make me laugh". I was wrong. The rest was just a vapid, soulless, agonizing experience. I didn't laugh, chuckle, or even involuntarily smile during this whole movie. The whole product just feels cynically slapped together with no respect for its audience and for the sole purpose of making money. Many of the celebrities they got were either bribed or guilt tripped into being in their skits. This isn't even a real movie; its like a bunch of unfunny YouTube videos mashed together. Think of the 15 worst Smosh videos you've seen, and watch them back to back. That's basically this movie but with more depraved sexually graphic content and random celebrities. You'd have a lot more fun watching YouTube videos for 90 minutes than watching Movie 43. Normally I have no problem with gross and inappropriate content, but only if there's a point. This movie represents everything wrong with Hollywood. Slimy film business practices typically only happen occasionally behind the scenes of most mainstream films. Every decision involved in the making of this movie started with the thought "We could exploit the Hollywood system by...". Movies like this are the reason IMDb should allow a 0- star rating. This movie is nothing. This movie deserves nothing. Therefore, I shall give it nothing.

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A great big middle finger at everyone that's ever written something
Terastas18 March 2014
The title is this review says it all. This movie isn't just bad. It is INTENTIONALLY bad. Not just in the sense that it goes out of its way over and over again to be offensive, but in that it goes well out of its way to avoid ever being funny.

If you have ever written a script, poem or short story, it is guaranteed to be better than Movie 43. And Movie 43 in turn is a collective effort by some of Hollywood's greatest underachievers to rub it in your face that you will never get to work in Hollywood -- that they can crank out the greatest travesty in the English language and, not only will they get it on the big screen, but all of the biggest names in Hollywood will be forced to degrade themselves in the process, while your life's work will continue to collect dust while you continue to live in a perpetual state of wage slavery.
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Winner of worst picture ever goes to...
DustinRahksi27 June 2013
Sorry for the language, it's the only way to get the point across.

I don't even know what to think, it's just so bad. I am speechless, it's a masterpiece of ass. This is truly the citizen cane of bad movies. Girls gone dead used to be the worst film I have ever seen until I watched this, in the same freaking day, one of the worst days ever. This is the toilet bowl where bad films do their business. So here we go.

First things first, it's not funny, it didn't even get a small chuckle out of me. It proclaims it's offencive, but I call bull-SH-t, it's disgusting and immature. The humour is something kindergarten students would make up, hell, kindergarten students aren't even this immature. The only time I'll agree with that little brat Chloe Grace MORETZ is when she said "I want to kill myself". I mean F****CK!, I'm mad as hell. Balls on babies faces and pooping on each other is what this film has to offer. It had me rolling my eyes and sighing left and right. It's just sick and degrading of the mind, it doesn't even try to be funny, I spent more time watching the time go by than I did watching the film. Batman the as-hole was the only time it even came close to having something to work with. The IBABE was just pointless graphic nudity, I feel sorry for those two actresses. Denis Quaid seemed to be the only one who even tried. And the 17 minute long credits with the cat jerking off, screw you for torturing me, film.

Please, for the love of GOD, stay away from this film. I'd rather watch baby geniuses, or garbage pale kids, or Santa Claus and the ice-cream bunny, anything but this abomination. This film must suffer the tortures of the damned. It must never harm anyone else, this film is the pure essence of evil. It must be destroyed in the fires of mount doom. It SUCKS SOOOO BAD, I can't take it. Please for the sake of your humanity, stay away.
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pogue7173 February 2013
OK, I must be just the type of 40+ year old infant male that this movie was made for. I laughed my @$$ off. I'm convinced most of the reviewers here wouldn't know a good joke if it bit them, but to each his/her own when it comes to comedy. I don't really think its a 10, but I'm giving it that just to stick it to you humorless snobs. Perhaps you won't find this movie suitable to your "evolved" pallets, but for those of us that still laugh at farts, and make dick jokes and think seeing someone getting punched in the balls is funny, then you should be amused by this one. I can just picture you people writing your reviews while sipping tea and glaring through your monocles like some stereotype.
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Not Funny At All
dirafone11 January 2013
The storyline is really disconnected and forced. The jokes might be funny if you're in pre-K but for anyone else they're disgusting and awful.

Even if you thought Epic Movie and the rest of those movies were the greatest ever you may have trouble laughing.

This is the kind of movie where you spend most of it trying to figure out why anyone would consider going through the process of writing and directing it.

I can't imagine why these great actors would agree to do such an awful movie.
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Worst movie since troll
As an avid and very frequent movie goer.. Its with great sorrow that I have to tell you this movie made my "Top 5 worst movies" list..

It has no valid point. the "jokes" are absolutely horrible. I kept waiting for a good part.. and there was not one. the best "skit" was probably Jason (in batman and robin).. but still that was very very bad. I was more amazed all these actors actually agreed to do this film.. what were you thinking !!!!! Having "B" actors like Lindsay L. in it probably would have made more sense.. this was bad.. if you go see it.. don't say you weren't warned. I wish I could just get my money back for my coke and popcorn :(
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Worst movie ever!
minigem552 April 2013
I wish I could give it a zero. This movie had no taste in it whatsoever. I wanted to get up and leave the theater so bad but spending almost $10 on a movie...I figured I'll get my moneys worth first. Bad idea! I felt like I needed to run to the nearest church during the movie to cleanse my soul. It was nasty and terrible. Not even funny at all and I personally think that it gave the actors and actresses a BAD reputation! And I really loved those actors/actresses, and now I just look at them differently. I can't believe that they would stoop so low for this movie. Don't see it! It will ruin your mind.
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It was great!
killmesidewayys31 January 2013
Obviously this movie isn't for a 40 year old. Obviously it isn't for a child. And obviously it isn't for someone who thinks they are too good for silly humor. There are some stupid shows on TV that make me wanna shoot myself and I can say that this movie was way better then that. Personally, I thought this movie was hilarious. And during the movie the whole audience was cracking up, that is not something you see, or hear, very often. I think Will Farrels kind of humor is WAY worst and less funny then this. I love it because it looks like such a fun gig for famous actors, its not all serious. If the actors are having fun with it then the audience should too. If you have a sense of humor and are not a grandma go see it!
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I don't even know what I just saw
nlacourse3 January 2014
Alright, I'm gunna spare you the paragraph This movie was god awful I mean, yes this the latest in the line of (unfortunately) high grossing films portraying the ever downwards spiraling of Hollywood, but I mean come on people Each vignette slowly pulled me closer and closer to the power button on my TV, and yet the sheer crudeness of the acting and LSD infused script sat me back down to stomach the best this film industry could give me. What do I have to say? Spare yourself kiddos, this is 94 minutes of my life I could have spent on doing more productive things, like shovel cow manure or kill whatever god forsaken producer decided this would be a well-off production
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