Ineffectual, 'has-been' film-maker (Dennis Quaid) swindles his way into an interview with a film executive (Greg Kinnear) in order to pitch an outrageous and controversial comedy manuscript. After pitching the first of his thirteen offbeat fables, the dejected artist forces the rest of his disjointed allegory on the executive at gunpoint. He tells stories of a woman on a blind date with a man who has testicles growing from his neck, in another a smitten woman offers her neck to her boyfriend to 'poop' on -as a sign of commitment and love. In yet another two parents take home-schooling to a whole new level of indecency, striving to give their isolated teenage son all the 'regular' torment and humiliation of puberty by bullying, peer-pressuring and even seducing him themselves. An off-beat, elephant-in-the-room type film. Written by
A group of Irish Monks needs to make payments on their belfry, so they decide to sell flowers to make money. For weeks they sell flowers, and it's going well. Too well in fact, they've begun to run the local florist, Patty O'Flannigan out of town. Well, a bit cheesed at the monks jumping in on his territory, he decides to confront them. He asks them to step off, politely, but they simply respond that, "That's no way to talk to men of God!", and throw him out of their monastery. For weeks this goes on, the monks selling flowers, and the florist getting more and more desperate to make them stop. Finally, he goes to Hugh Mactaggart, the biggest, baddest man in town -- he could get anyone to leave town -- so Patty decides he's the best way to get rid of the monks, gives him the rest of the money, and retires to bed, wary of the results. In the morning, a knock on his door reveals Mactaggart, offering a firm handshake and saying, "They shan't be botherin' ya again Patty." The moral of the story is, Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
I tell you this joke because it is infinitely funnier than the entirety of Movie 43.
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