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Storyline
Billy Owens is turning 11. Turns out this little rapscallion was born on the 11th day of the 11th month, at 11pm no less, so it ventures to reason he has some powers of the magical variety. Of course, he and his friends, a precocious know-it-all named Mandy, and his other pal, the not too bright Devon, will all go on some kind of mystical adventure. You see Billy Owens lives in one of the oldest towns in the East Coast, Spirit River. Billy, on his eleventh birthday, is about to discover an unusual item up for sale in a local second-hand shop, one that's likely going to save both himself and the entire town of Spirit River. Billy, in case you hadn't already figured it out from the opening paragraph, is going to discover that he's a boy wizard. Written by
John W. Urbanski Jr.
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Did You Know?
Quotes
Mandy Finch:
Did you know that octopi change their color when they're frightened?
Katherine Owens:
Did you know that friendship is the strongest bond between two friends?
Devon Turner:
Make that three people.
William Owens:
I think you mean four people. Believe in your friends, Billy, and yourself. You can do this.
Billy Owens:
We're ready.
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Oh, that's right, it's the smell of my brain rotting. I started watching the film with an IQ higher than the average person and somehow during the course of the film managed to lose all my ability to think and/or function right for an entire week. The acting was so horrible, it was like these people had just been randomly picked off the street by the director of the film "Excuse me sir, could you give me just maybe two hours of your time? That's all it'll take, I swear. All you'll have to do is say a few lines and don't worry about putting meaning behind the words, it's highly over-rated and we wouldn't want a half-ways descent film that people would enjoy let alone watch. What's that? Oh, you don't want to look stupid on film? OK, we'll find somebody else who's ten times worse than you are." On top of the dreadful acting, the show just seemed to go on and on and on. It never ended. The first five minutes had me wanting to go and violently hurl myself off the edge of a cliff into a shallow pool of water with jagged rocks at the bottom. I didn't even think it was possible to make me WANT to commit suicide. I didn't think it was possible that this movie could reach the level of "Slipstream" that seemed as if it was just thrown together within a matter of seconds. Well it did. It wasn't quite as bad but if you ever have seen the movie with your own two eyes you'd get the picture. Please, please I beg of you, do not let yourself or far worse your children watch this film, it will come back to haunt you and it's just plain torture to sit through an hour and a half of something this abominable. I have set a warning at the bottom of my review.(Oh and by the way this gets a zero out of ten, if it were possible I would rate it lower)
WARNING, Side affects of watching this movie may include: Insomnia, Nightmares, Hallucinations, Nausea, Vomiting, Severe Internal Hemorrhaging, Brain Decay, Diarrhea, Headaches, and a very possible state of Coma. Not meant to be watched in the presence of children age ten or younger. If such an event occurs call an ambulance immediately but by then it's probably too late. Your child has already been scarred.