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Stewie Griffin: This was exhausting. This whole experience was absolutely exhausting. You people have ruined "Star Trek: The Next Generation" for me. You are absolutely the most insufferable group of jackasses I have ever had the misfortune of spending an extended period of time with. I hope you all fucking die.

Patrick Stewart: I still have five prize tickets from the carnival.

Stewie Griffin: There was nothing for five tickets! We've been over this!

Patrick Stewart: Well, but LeVar and I were going to pool ours for the fuzzy troll pencil topper.

Stewie Griffin: Oh, yeah? You gonna share that?

LeVar Burton: Yeah, we were gonna share it.

Stewie Griffin: Really? How's that going to work?

Patrick Stewart: Three days at my house, three days at LeVar's, and alternating Sundays.

Stewie Griffin: For a pencil topper?

Michael Dorn: I have to pee again.

Stewie Griffin: That's it. Good-bye.

[teleports them away]

Stewie Griffin: [Brent's drink doesn't teleport and stains the floor] Fuck!

Brian Griffin: [to Meg] If there was a God would He give you a smokin' hot mom like Lois and then have you grow up looking like Peter?

Patrick Stewart: [holding up two bowling balls] Look at me, I've got girl boobs!

Stewie Griffin: Now, Question #1: what's it like on the set?

Marina Sirtis: The show's been off the air for fifteen years.

Michael Dorn: Although I will say it was an awful lot of fun - you know, when Patrick wasn't hogging the limelight.

Patrick Stewart: Oh, fuck you, Michael! Fifteen years later, you've still got that attitude!

Wil Wheaton: [Still at the drive-thru] I want a hamburger, I want a cheeseburger, I want a hot dog-...

Patrick Stewart: [Patrick slams his head against the window] You'll get nothing and like it!

Stewie Griffin: Picard has it all over Kirk. He's poised and measured. And doesn't wear a cheap rug. Rather, he accepts even baldness with a quiet cool that says, "I am in command. You are safe with me. I will cradle you in my arms through any crisis in any galaxy."

Brian Griffin: Are you queer?

Stewie Griffin: Probably.

Marina Sirtis: Stewie, I'm not really much of a fast-food eater.

Stewie Griffin: Yeah? Can you read my mind? Can you tell what I'm thinking right now? I'm thinking shut up and get a salad!

Brent Spiner: I want some McNuggets!

Stewie Griffin: We'll get to you Brent.

Wil Wheaton: I want a hamburger. No, I want a cheeseburger, I want a hot dog, I want a milkshake!

Patrick Stewart: [backhands Wil Wheaton] You'll get nothing and like it!

Marina Sirtis: [as they pull up to a fast food drive-thru] Stewie, I'm not really much of a fast food eater.

Stewie Griffin: Oh yeah? Can you read my mind? Can you tell what I'm thinking? I'm thinking shut up and get a salad!

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Stewie Griffin: Uh, hello?

Employee: Yes, welcome to McDonald's can I help you?

Stewie Griffin: Ah, hailing frequencies open huh? Ah, yeah we're gonna get uh two McChicken sandwiches and a Diet coke and... what do you want Michael?

Michael Dorn: A McDLT?

Stewie Griffin: No, I already told you they don't make those anymore.

Michael Dorn: You know, sometimes it's a regional thing. You could ask.

Stewie Griffin: No McDonald's anywhere makes a McDLT anymore.

Jonathan Frakes: I want a Shamrock Shake if they've got any of those.

Stewie Griffin: It's September Jonathan!

LeVar Burton: Stewie, can I take this fuckin' headband off?

Stewie Griffin: No, LeVar you're blind. That's the only way you can see!

Michael Dorn: I'm just saying they have *all* the ingredients for a McDL...

[someone honks their horn]

Stewie Griffin: Just hang on alright? There's a lot of us. There's a lot... It's a big order!

Patrick Stewart: What time do they stop serving breakfast?

Stewie Griffin: It's three o'clock!

Patrick Stewart: Some of them serve breakfast all day.

Stewie Griffin: None of them serve breakfast all day!

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Brian Griffin: Ah, the Annual Quahog Science Fiction Festival. Where Science Fiction Fans take their mouths off the barrel of a loaded shotgun and spend the day adjusting their eyes to sunlight.

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Peter Griffin: Erm, in the episode where you drown your wife, why are you so fat?

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