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St George's Day More at IMDbPro »

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39 out of 56 people found the following review useful:

Gawd blimey Guv'nor what a load of bleeding Pony*

Author: paul_ringwood from United Kingdom
15 September 2012

Do you remember the good old days, when an Englishman's home was his castle? When you could leave your front door unlocked? Every other person down your street was a Pearly King? and every night was spent having a sing-song around the old Joanna at the rub-a- dub, before doing the Lambeth walk all the way home? Well the makers of this film do….Every character in this formulaic tosh is either a cheeky, chirpy, annoying Cock-ernee or is a hulking, growling Jason Statham-a-like who'll screw your head off your shoulders for looking sideways at his pint. St Georges day seems to be aimed at a typical 15- 22 year old lads mag audience and fair enough, but there isn't enough meat on the bones here for even the most easily pleased "Nuts" magazine reader. The sex isn't sexy enough, the comic bits aren't funny and you'll see better orchestrated violence in any town centre Kebab shop on a Saturday night. The plot is paper thin (The Russian Mafia …How very 80's….Missing Cocaine….How original "2 out of 10. See me at the end of class")

The acting is as wooden as a crate of light ale. And middle aged men ruminating on World war 2 and what being an Englishman is all about, still yearning for the good old days, just smacks of lazy writing & casual racism. At times this almost plays out as a recruiting film for the English Defence League. No doubt a few knuckle draggers will get something out of the casual violence, drug taking and football thuggery but everyone else please steer well clear of this load of old Pony*

* Cockney rhyming slang….Pony & Trap = CRAP

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31 out of 50 people found the following review useful:

Trite Generic "Geezer" Crime Caper Movie for Eastenders Fans

Author: ronniecrayfish from United Kingdom
13 September 2012

Hey people "Spoiler alert", this movie SUCKS big time. If I could give a film 0 stars believe me I would, I am so annoyed at wasting my time and money seeing this movie I've felt obliged to put pen to paper. This film blatantly copies all the standard Brit Gangster tropes that we've seen before in films such as "Layer cake", "Gangster No 1" etc. but does them all REALLY REALLY BADLY. The story revolves around the protagonists losing a consignment of cocaine belonging to the Russian mafia, Wow what an original concept! The acting is abysmal and wooden to say the least, the dialogue is of the "Not on my Manor you Muppet" quality. The "jokes" are completely unfunny (I cracked a smile maybe twice). The producers have obviously gotten Charles Dance in as a known "Star" thereby trying to give the movie some credibility, (I like Charles Dance, but be honest when was the last movie of any note you saw him in?) Well Charlie obviously had a big Gas/Electric/Tax bill to pay when this job came into his in-box and he looks decidedly uncomfortable and dyspeptic throughout and is obviously just going through the motions. The rest of the cast are actors that you've probably seen in "Eastenders" or "The Bill" or in some other awful Brit flick standing next to Danny Dyer, trying to look hard and act less wooden than him. I notice a previous reviewer comparing this to "The Long Good Friday", well watching St Georges Day seemed as though I'd sat through a very "Long Long Friday" but there the similarity ends. Do yourselves a favour, get a copy of the aforementioned and brilliant "Long Good Friday" with Bob Hoskins acting his socks off in his best ever role, and give this rubbish a miss. There are some good Brit Gangster movies out there.....This isn't one of them by a Long Long way.

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6 out of 7 people found the following review useful:

Good modern Brit Gangster Flick

Author: Bana25 from United Kingdom
17 February 2013

I thought this was an all good Brit Gangster flick, Frank Harper did a great job of his first time directorial debut, and some of the camera shots were great, I also like some of the analogies used such as when Craig Fairbrass says "I got 25 good summers left" I like things like that, and thought there were a few thought out well. Craig Fairbrass shinned in this, this was one of his better roles that fitted him. All in all, I would give it a 7/10, only miscast I thought was Jamie Foreman just due to him being in Eastenders and nothing personal.

I think Frank Harper could defo direct some more good things, and look forward to them! The Business was one of my favourite brit flicks, but I think that is a touch of the sun that makes it!

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9 out of 13 people found the following review useful:

If you're a fan of the genre, ignore the negative reviews

Author: demaym from United Kingdom
27 February 2013

It took me a while to finally watch this, as I foolishly judged the film by it's IDMB rating (a habit I need to squash, as they've been highly inaccurate in the last year or so).

This film is exactly what you'd expect from the 'British gangster movie' club - The usual suspects, playing their usual parts, with a mix of action, violence, and tough men in nice suits, embroiled in turf wars with foreign mobsters, caught up in the standard situations that you've seen in these kind of films before.

If you're a fan of the genre, and British crime pieces, then I doubt you'll be disappointed, as the acting is up to scratch, it looks polished, and it is leagues ahead of many other cheap efforts from unknown British directors. Frank Harper has been in enough films over the years, some high budget, and others low, that's it not surprising that he is now venturing into the production and directing aspect of the business.

The pace of the film was fine, the characters were easy to accept and follow, there was a fair bit of drama, and it definitely wasn't as 'vulgar' as some are making out, as I've seen far worse, in regards to the over use of swearing, and unnecessary violence.

This is no 'Goodfellas' or 'The Godfather' but who would be expecting that kind of level from this film anyway?

It does what it said on the tin - Solid film, and good casual viewing.

I wrote this review to put some perspective on here, as the 4.5 rating is completely off the mark, and due to the low amount of submissions, it's probably some kind of 'politics'.

Final thought - IMDb ratings are not always justified, and one should probably make up their own mind, rather than rely on them, like I've done in the past. You'll miss out on good films if you do.


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12 out of 19 people found the following review useful:

Great Film, Gangster is as gangster does...

Author: January39 from United Kingdom
6 January 2013

I gave this 10 pure and simple to balance the low score we see on IMDb (would have been 9 anyway) Quality film, I loved it.

You will read reviews of cliché's and there are some, but I mean how many times can a gangster film be made without suffering that? answers on a postcard. I was hooked from start to finish all actors do there job tightly although not to sure on the casting of Jamie Foreman as 'nixon' it's not that he does it badly, but he's a bad guy - always will be.

Zlatko Buric as 'Vlad' is brilliant, he starred in all 3 pusher films and in the UK remake and he is so effective in the role I almost think he really is a big time dealer - Oscar material for sure.

There are some holes in the plot and some loose ends but none detract from the story, if anything they feel a little fudged - the Russian passenger on the drug run, errr what? the 2 deaths of the fans found in the skip bin, I watched all the film and I can't recall either of them, who killed them - assume the Russians but not totally sure?

I could see the ending coming a mile off and I think we all will but give it a chance despite these minor flaws and you will be surprised, how this got only 4.3 on IMDb is beyond me it deserves much more.

I can't recommend this enough, please watch it and don't just be swallowed on a IMDb rating.

Yes, it is a clone of lock stock. Yes, it has holes. Yes, it has some apples and pears BUT it is a good tale, done well.

Kudos to director - I loved it. Credit to all cast inc Craig Fairbrass as he is severely underrated actor and not the 1st time I have thought that, how he does not have a bigger career is beyond me. Nick Moran plays a minor role in the film and tbh he is totally underused, maybe I might have removed those scenes??

BTW the cast is a who's who of gangster films but then they are the best and you will have seen them all in one film or another... is that a bad thing I don't think so.

10/10 for me. Loved it. Certainly be watching this one again

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17 out of 30 people found the following review useful:

Keeley Hazell for an Oscar?

Author: ArT_of_InSaNiTy from United Kingdom
13 September 2012

So, today i went to the cinema with my Unlimited Card setting my sights on 2 films that clearly weren't doing too well and weren't going to last long. These 2 films where "That's my Boy" and "St Georges Day". After a very average but slightly entertaining viewing of That's my Boy i headed up to the top floor of Cineworld and sat down ready to watch St Georges Day. If i would've known how bad this film was going to be i would never have step foot on the escalator. The movie basically consists of 2 words. One is the F Bomb and the other is another word for testicles. Ironic really because this film is f-in balls. Keeley Hazell; i can only pray that you give up acting right away. She is a contender for the worst actress of all time; even worse than the screaming girls that are always in Superhero films. Anyway i started this day with a tint of optimism and after my first film there was still a hint of positivity. But after seeing this diabolical, nonsensical "film" i can fully understand why there was only 8 people watching it. Thank god for Unlimited cards.

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2 out of 2 people found the following review useful:

Oh my days, what a load of pony, innit babe

Author: Scott Thompson from London, England
16 September 2014

I nominate this film for worst voice-over narration of all time. Director/star Frank Harper sounds like he has been forced to read out the phone book in its entirety. Talk about sleepwalking through a project, and it's his own bleeding film, guvnor. Now, Harper is no Danny Dyer, he more than looks the part when playing the London hard man and has been used to good effect by directors like Nick Love and Shane Meadows. Unfortunately, here he's directing himself in the sort of vanity project that would only get funded by the British film industry. He's recruited a veritable who's who of crap gangster and football hooligan films for St George's Day. And Keeley Hazell who gives one of the worst performances ever committed to celluloid. This truly awful effort takes you into a world of Peckham melts, ageing hooligans who keep going on about the war even though they've never been near one, uncharismatic, perma-tanned villains with a hard on for Churchill and cretinous hanger ons, just there to keep the idiotic plot ticking along. What do you mean, no thanks mate! This film is awesome in its crapness. It has no sense of its own absurdity, takes itself very seriously and is all the funnier for it. The only disappointment is that Danny Dyer doesn't turn up and glass a slag. Let's have a sequel please, set on Christmas Day!

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3 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

Oh my effing days......

Author: FlashCallahan from Leicester, United Kingdom
15 June 2013

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Infamous cousins, Micky Mannock and Ray Collishaw, are at the top of their game, when their world is turned upside down, as they lose a shipment of the Russian Mafia's cocaine in rough seas.

They race across Europe to attempt to stay one step ahead of the Police, The Russians, and Frank Harpers vanity.......

I love watching films with Craig Fairbrass, ever since he appeared in Cliffhanger as a Cockney Geezer, he has played the same character in everything he has appeared in, and he never fails to make me chuckle.

So I thought I'd hit pay-dirt with this, and thought I'd be in store for a couple of hours worth of silly swearing, Chavvy clothes, and idle threats. Believe me, I don't like these sort of films, I just watch them for their crassness, and stupidity.

But then I realise its just a complete vanity project for Frank Harper, another hard man you wouldn't ask or an autograph from in real life, and it really got me thinking, how on earth can films like this and the equally bad 'Big Fat Gypsy Gangster' get green lighted?

Harper casts a glamour model as his Girlfriend, who also like the fairer sex, and he gets all the best lines, and it turns from a laughable crime drama, to The Frank Harper show.

Charles Dance turns up every now and again, dying a little inside saying these poor lines, and sort things out.

CGI blood is awful, and in the end, its just a poor excuse of a film.

But at least I found out what the Acronym POSH stands for.

Frank Harper, movie maker and educator....

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3 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

Hackneyed story of London villains we've seen a million times before

Author: Mark Mair from Aberdeen, Scotland
13 June 2013

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I've clicked on the spoiler alert because the spoiler is this film is b*ll*x beyond belief. If you're a fan of British gangster moves this film will sadly disappoint. I lost track of the times either dialog or scenes had been shamelessly ripped off from HBOs The Sopranos.

Throw in Russian mobsters, missing cocaine, football hooligans and and East End funeral complete with horse drawn hearse and you have all the ingredients for a clichéd script supported by a cast so wooden they're at risk of Dutch Elm disease.

The "Nipper Harris" character (Jamie Foreman) is like a cross between Colombo and one of the chuckle brothers. The director should have gone the whole way and dressed him in a pearly king suit and swapped the cigar for jellied eels.

I'm amazed that an actor of the quality of Charles Dance got involved with this. Its not as if this was poor execution of a good script with a strong plot-line. There are also some quite bizarre choices for scene settings where the main British protagonists meet their sinister Russian counterparts in a field.

This is quite simply one of the worst films I have ever watched, of any genre.

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3 out of 5 people found the following review useful:

Clichéd and predictable beyond words, but actually very very funny!

Author: MoodyB84 from United Kingdom
23 March 2013

St. Georges Day is a debut effort written and directed by eloquent and softly spoken Shakespearean thespian Frank Harper, famous for his roles in The Football Factory and Lock. Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (Guy Ritchie, 2008), and let us not forget his scene stealing performance as the bank robber in Kevin and Perry Go Large (Ed Bye, 2000). I thoroughly enjoyed Dexter Fletcher's (who is, of course, briefly in this) directorial debut Wild Bill last year, so maybe this could be another enjoyable treat. He seems to have persuaded all his mates to be in it, the only ones missing are Danny Dyer and Tamer Hassan; maybe they were performing Hamlet at the Old Vic during filming? Well...

I will come back to term 'enjoyable' later if I may? First, a quick review:

It seems Frank Harper has certainly learnt a few things while starring in all these geezer films, in basically that he has cut and pasted all the clichéd plots from these and stuck them all together in what is an absolute narrative mess. This film received consistently horrific reviews, and I have to admit that they are all deserved. St. Georges Day is the most possibly generic and clichéd 'cockeney gangster' film you could imagine. Every cliché in terms of plot and characters is there to see in full clunky and embarrassing glory. I am not going to list them here, but anyone who watches this will be ticking them off in their head almost involuntarily. As for the dialogue, co-written by Frank himself, when there are lines such as "The Price is Right? This isn't the game show you c**t!" or "Two words: Angry Russians", it is basically Eastenders with swearing.

There is a also a very insular and quite racist approach to this film, such as the typical evil Russian gangsters and double crossing Dutch drug dealers. However, what becomes really embarrassing is Frank Harper's deluded sense of patriotism that comes out within the script, there are many occasions where he compares their drugs operation and how they are going to sort out the mess they created to strategies deployed by Churchill and the British armies in both of the world wars. This is both insulting and rather embarrassing to watch; as we have to remember that these men are criminals despite whatever 'moral code' they follow. There are many voice-over scenes, usually with Frank Harper looking pensive on some riverside where he tries to justify to us why he is essentially a criminal. He often mentions things like 'loyalty' and tells us that he never killed anyone that "didn't deserve it or would have done the same thing to him". No Frank, you are criminals, you are not the good guys. Even the police are portrayed as bad guys for simply doing their job; does Frank really think we are that stupid? Also, it is worth saying that Keeley Hazell stars in her debut film role and is shocking, though let us face it, she is not there for her acting is she? She also plays Mickey's girlfriend and there are many scenes where Frank Harper gets to kiss her. Hang on! Isn't Frank Harper writer, actor, director and producer? Indeed he is. Oh, Frank, you dirty old man! However, her character as 'Peckham Princess' (No, me neither) is beyond caricature, as with all the women here who are simply portrayed in a shamefully misogynistic way. However, this just adds to the list of generic narrow minded stereotyping like evil Russians, drugged up crazy Dutch people, angry Scottish people etc.

Now, I will return to the phrase 'enjoyable', and though I may well be contradicting what I have previously just said, but I must confess that I found St. Georges Day extremely enjoyable. This does come with a proviso though: If you take St. Georges Day with a pinch of salt, and when you see a cast list like that (maybe with the exception of Charles Dance – maybe a marketing ploy?) how on earth can you take this film seriously? I went into this film expecting ridiculous nonsense and was not disappointed; I must confess that it frequently made me laugh. It is obvious that Frank Harper thinks he is making the Citizen Kane of British gangster films. St. Georges Day takes itself so ridiculously seriously; this almost makes it even funnier to watch. You never laugh with it, but frequently at it and because of this I will confess that I actually really enjoyed it, though certainly not for any of the reasons dear old (now officially an auteur) Frank Harper would want.

In summary: Predictable, clichéd, crap. This is the definitive British gangster film in that every cliché and caricature is there to see, all put together by the chunkiest script imaginable. However, this may well be (unintentionally) one of the funniest British films of recent years.

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