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The vampire boy looks like a male prostitute and the werewolf boy looks
like a victim of fetal alcohol syndrome. Yet these are the least
shocking fantasies dwelling in the hearts of adolescent girls and women
This is the second Twilight movie I have seen, and as far as I can tell, the heroine, Bella, has made no attempt to find an academic, artistic or athletic passion, nor has she attempted any other type of pursuit of achievement or learning. She appears to be somewhat petulant and extremely selfish, playing the vampire boy and the werewolf boy off against each other, and the two romantic rivals are too damn stupid to realize this.
The vampires in these films are all frozen at approximately age 17 in physical appearance and emotional development. As far as I can tell, only one vampire has a job, yet somehow they have buttloads of money for trophy homes and private islands and private jets.
At age 17, Bella is willing to become permanently stunted herself at her own narcissistic stage of development, becoming a vampire for all eternity on the basis of the mystique and male prostitute sexiness of the vampire boy.
It's the height of romanticism in our culture to fantasize about 17 year girls who don't know any better irrevocably tying their fates to creepy immature older guys.
Vampires and werewolves fight huge battles to protect Bella from either bad vampires or bad werewolves. Bella takes no action to help defend herself...she is an object to be revered and protected.
Of course, this all culminates in Bella getting pregnant, because if the ideal of femininity is the elimination personal achievement and expression, than the crowning achievement of womanhood is to make babies...even if the baby is a bloodsucking demon spawn.
The traditional adolescant protagonist in films and movies undergoes a conflict or has an adventure and along the way gains wisdom and maturity that will help the character make their way in the adult world...'Juno' and 'Rushmore' typify this concept. None of that in Twilight, that's for sure. Bella will remain twisted and stunted, just as the American imagination has been twisted and stunted by economic deterioration and religious authoritarianism.
Besides being a major mind-rape for adolescents with any emotional vulnerabilities, parents should note that this film has a very graphic (and extremely bloody) c-section birth scene for Bella's Hellspawn bloodsucking demon vampire baby.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
I am not sure why Breaking Dawn Part 1 didn't hit me between the eyes
but after considerable thought I think it's because it took 1.5 years
to get here after Eclipse. Also, the acting was horrible. The movie was
way too long for the plot it was supposed to portray. From the
beginning it seemed staged from Alice's obvious wig to Edward smirking
with doe eyes in almost every shot.
I am not a teenager, in fact I am a grandmother. I was introduced to the Twilight phenom by my daughter a few years ago when she gave me a very used copy of Twilight. I absolutely loved the books and then the 3 DVD's that I watched over and over. Was I excited to see Breaking Dawn? You bet, but as I stated above is was fair at best.
Kristen Stewart, Billy Burke and the actress playing Bella's mother did the best acting job with enough exposure in the film to determine their performance. The other actors - the Cullen family - didn't seem to be a true part of the movie. Why didn't we see more of Ashley, Nikki, Kellan and Rathbone???
To me, there is no reason to have 2 parts to Breaking Dawn. Making the movie a bit longer and more precise would have been the thrill I was looking for. I am disappointed in Stephanie Meyer for botching up her own story. Is this all an attempt to capitalize on the popularity of the 3 previous movies by making this movie two parts?
The very best part of the entire movie was Bella's transformation from human to vampire with the kicker being opening her eyes at the close of the movie. I wanted this type of thrill in the rest of the movie but it failed to delight.
I am in no hurry to see Part 2 and don't even know when it will be "revealed". I just hope it is not the dud that Part 1 turned out to be.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
This movie was so bad, movie goers all around us tossed out movie
etiquette and we didn't even mind. I would have typically been
thoroughly annoyed by the lady behind be who giggled through the WHOLE
movie - but I couldn't because often I found myself giggling as well.
Periodically you'd here an astonished outburst in the theater, "Oh, no.
This movie is so bad." I was guilty of that as well.
The acting is awful and the plot even worse. Granted the book was the worst of the three, but with the budget the film had, I hoped for more from the film. How Bella manages to be morose on her wedding day - is beyond me. There is no joy - or chemistry the only spark is between Bella and Jake. The wedding toast is sorry - save for Charlie. The honeymoon - disturbing and silly. The whole pregnancy and childbirth scenario probably did it's job of keeping girls from having sex or at least using protection.
The messages were the most disturbing...Joyless wedding, Painful Honeymoon, Pregnancy that will certainly kill, Horrid Childbirth. All the Cullens where bad - this movie would have been better to focus on the dynamics of the wolf pack (except for the Wolf Speak scene.....STINK!)
The only saving grace was how the movie poked fun at the baby's name, because that should have happened.
BOTTOM LINE: SKIP the MOVIE and REREAD the BOOK. As my TWIhard 13-year-old daughter said, "That was a waste of 3 hours."
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 (2011)
** 1/2 (out of 4)
The fourth film in the mega-popular series has Edward (Robert Pattinson) and Bella (Kristen Stewart) getting married and shortly afterwards the female virgin becomes pregnant, which could cause her death, which doesn't sit too well with werewolf Jacob (Taylor Lautner). Obviously a 32-year-old male isn't the target viewer for this film but I must admit that it was a major step up from the previous two installments. I might even go as far to say that this here was the best of the series in a bad way. I say that because I'm sure teenage girls will be weeping all over themselves through the first hour of this thing but, as an adult, I couldn't help but laugh at it. The first hour deals with the screen's most popular duo getting married and of course the girl losing her virginity. I know this is a big thing to Twi-hards and teenage girls but the execution here is just laughable and especially the moments leading up to the act. The entire thing is just directed so over-dramatic that I couldn't help but laugh. It also didn't help that the dialogue was just downright awful and at times embarrassing. With that said, these bad moments actually make the film rather entertaining. Both Pattinson and Stewart are pros at these characters by now and it's also clear that Lautner continues to work out and this must cause him to skip his acting classes. As usual the CGI is pretty bad but I guess this is to be expected. Still, I found the story to be rather compelling and the entire thing kept me entertained from start to finish. Yes it drags on too long but you have to admit there's some pretty weird stuff going on here and especially during the second half.
Now I have seen all the movies in the series. The first was not bad but
it wasn't that good either, the second, forgettable, same as the third
and now the fourth makes me feel like I really am holding out for
In a movie you need to make the audience care about the characters. This is to make sure that when something dramatic happens or when you try to build suspension people will actually feel something. You need to either want the person to die or get hurt or you need to want them to be better of. Many movies pull this of in the opening act of the movie, this series hasn't pulled it of in 4 movies.
So far we know almost nothing about the characters in this series, their all cardboard cut outs easy to replace and when ever some one is threatened, close to death or even dies you end up going "meh". Why? Because they have no dept. It doesn't seem like the writers are even interested in making these characters interesting. The movie is also very drawn out, far too much time is spent on getting the audience trying to sympathize with the characters but since they have no real character, no personality and nothing about them that makes them likable this just doesn't happen.
The love interests have no chemistry, this makes the drama surrounding it less believable. The lead actress problems and reasons for her actions are so shallow, childish and selfish that you end up disliking her when the intention is the opposite and the male leads end up coming of like easily manipulates sock puppets.
The production value is quite high, this is the best thing about the movie but a polished surface if not enough to endure these drawn out plots that give almost nothing. There is no pay of in the end.
You end up sitting trough the series thinking "soon, soon something will happen that makes me react, makes me feel something" but it just doesn't happen. If you have not seen the first movies, don't waste your time on them.
One would expect that after the success of the first three films- and
the third one especially- that the fourth and part one to the final
installment to what is now soon to be- a complete twilight quintology,
would be in much more better hands, and especially after the praise for
breaking dawn. Let's ignore the fact that it's been pointlessly split
There's now zero chemistry completely, almost like Edward and Bella are exhausted of putting on a show. Speaking of which, the sex scene was a little awkward - y'know, the one that got unintentional laughs. Though Jacob does good in keeping his trap shut- no more whining from him now, he's finally an adult. Bella and Edward however, couldn't be any less mature than when this whole thing started. The acting is O.K, although Billy Burke probably still is the greatest actor here. Effortlessely, he portrays Charlie, the slightly confused father, who seems a little under the blanket. And if anybody else calls this inability to act, they are mistaken.
It's when anybody speaks, is when it really turns to stone. The script is repulsive, weak, stating the obvious, and would probably get a better review from many others if this were a silent film. Some actors, like Taylor Launter per say, who finally picked up their act and ACTED, didn't get very much lines. The sentences were shorted, which only created even more confusion- how does Edward REALLY feel about cutting Bella open? How does Carlisle explain to Edward how to cut open his wife's stomach in the midst of ectasizing pain?
There's also zero storyline. Yep, it's a reality show. We're following around two newly weds whilst they bicker amongst themselves about the pros and cons of having a metaphorically demonic child -how do they even know the baby's going to be a threat? It also raises some questions from the Quilliete point of view; What's so bad about a baby hybrid? The length of life time is stretched over aging four years at a time- although the movie doesn't tell you this, so how is the audience supposed to pick it up?
After all this, the audience needs an orgasm. There's nothing to be excited about here. Very much like the fight scene between Harry and Ron in Deathly Hallows part one - once you expect two best friends to beat the living out of each other, they end up - wait for it - pushing each other around. This film definitely pushed each other around. We needed to see the impact of two sides finally going head on, after about a hundred years of keeping the mitts - or paws - off each other.
Overall, a dumb addition to what we though was a healing movie saga. Don't bother wasting your time, you'd get thrice the thrill and excitement reading two chapters of the book that this abortion adapted itself from.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
One thing is certain: When you give these lovebirds vows of eternal love, we mean it! Bella, who wants her husband pale and somewhat depressing finally gives her heart to Edward and he promises to return a pair of fangs.For half an hour watching the much anticipated wedding and its preparations, while the hapless Jacob awaits kick-off to finally pull the shirt.Here, honeymoon in Rio De Janeiro (what cliché!) And lovebirds finally make us love!Fans of Stephanie Meyer's books, not only know that pregnancy will occur immediately (obviously, the centenarian Edward has not heard of condoms).The "Breaking Dawn - Part 1" is a film that starts straight and leads to syrups as a psycho-gram people,werewolves and vampires. Action? Nah! Lady Meyer, following t 'footsteps of the little Harry Potter, he prefers to keep to the end. 4/10
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
There is not a single reason to even watch this movie.
1. Bad story: This movie don't even have a plot there are 2 thing that happen in this movie: the get married and Bella gets pregnant.
2. No action scenes: The last ones at least have action scenes and it's no reason for the rating, not even one person dies.
Even twilight fans have a hard time to defend this movie. At least we can be happy that it's just one movie to go so in about 3 years people will forget this. I don't even get how they continued to make the twilight movies. People didn't like the first one, and the movies just got worse and worse.
This was the biggest dumpster movie i watched in 2012. I also don't think that any of the twilight movies will get people to read the books unlike the harry potter movies that got me and a lot of other people to read the books. If you read this review don't watch this f*** up of a movie and save 2 hours of your life.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Before I begin, I should preface this by saying that I have not read
the books. I don't plan on it. I intend to judge this movie as the
movie it is. Also, I'm not even sure why I still watch these movies.
I'm not a fan. I'm not on any "team". I think it's just me hoping that
as long as the "Twilight" series is still as awful as I think it is, my
judgment and humanity have no been compromised.
Having said all that, this was not a movie so much as a big, frustrating, awkward pause. All of the movies up to this point have been 120 minute set ups for the next movie, and really, the whole series is a 360 minutes leading up to this. Wedding! Sex! So, how did it fail? First, Bella, or "that one" as I affectionately call her, still can't peak my interest in her as a character. She doesn't seem to care that she's getting married or that short-haired-vampire is being a super bitch about it. She has no emotion and no purpose. During the wedding reception, minor characters sing her praises, but the film's audience has never seen any of the characteristics that they are claiming she has. But I guess she and Edward love each other? Sometimes I'm not so sure, and I will address that later.
The more I watch of this series then the more I realize that Jacob isn't some smoldering, sexy werewolf alternative to Edward. He's a hormone ravaged 17 year old who has a bright future as inmate number 3135453, in for 20-30 years on charges of aggravated assault, public nudity, stalking, and statutory rape. His character never evolves (but then again, none of them do), and he is incredibly annoying when he yells at Bella for making her own decisions, bewildering as they are.
Let me just take one moment, though to say that Anna Kendrick is the only likable character in the entire series-- not just this movie. Unfortunately, she is underused since she has two lines and 15 total seconds in the film. I would watch a movie about her. As great as she is, it makes it all the more confusing why every guy in Sh*tstorm, Whereeverthismovie'ssettingis is helplessly in love with Bella and not Anna Kendrick.
As far as the plot goes, things happen, but at an excruciatingly slow pace. It takes 30 minutes to get to the wedding, another 25 to get to the honeymoon, and then a solid hour before the birth scene. There was no reason for each plot point to take that long since none of the scenes are engaging or emotional.
Speaking of things integral to the plot, my biggest gripe is that Edward didn't make Bella a vampire the moment they left the wedding. It would have solved everything. Every problem in the movie, be it Edward hurting Bella during sex or her getting pregnant, and all of the stupid things that happen because of, that would have been solved had he just done the deed. They were on their honeymoon. They could have easily dealt with her transformation, come up with a story to tell her dad, and f*cked like we all wanted them to.
There was one moment when I actually identified with Bella, and that was when she was frustrated that Edward wasn't having sex with her. I was frustrated to. I didn't rent that movie to see two sexy teenagers NOT have sex.
Edward once again proves that he emotionally abusive when he refuses to have sex with her and then berates her for choosing to have the baby. No matter how little sense it made for her to continue her pregnancy, it was her choice and he just made snide comments about how she's gonna die. I can see why she married him. No, I can't. This movie will plague a generation of women because it taught them that the reason their boyfriends abuse them mentally and emotionally is because they really love them.
The next hour of the movie is watching her waste away and listening to people take part in a thinly veiled abortion argument. But this is a good Mormon movie, and so she's having the baby whether it kills her or not. And why couldn't it have? The main scene I was hoping to see was just disappointing. They barely showed Edward violently ripping open her womb and eating the placenta. I've been watching you all be boring for 110 minutes. DO SOMETHING.
Now, there is a filler in this where the werewolves are going to fight with the Cullens because of the baby, and who cares. There is no fight. There is never a fight scene in any of these movies, so why even get your hopes up? There is, though, the introduction of "imprinting" which is where.... Actually, it's never explained what imprinting is. Edward just states that Jacob does it to his baby daughter. Since Jacob is a secret canine, I can only assume he marked his territory like all other doges do, and peed on her.
And then it ends with Bella opening her eyes. She's a vampire, now. Jacob is going to be happy with his pee baby, and there can't possibly be anything else to say in this story. But apparently there is. Because there's going to be another one. I might just bow out of the last one and pretend that this was the last movie they made. All of this terrible movie sh*t stresses me out.
Bella is finally tying the knots with Cullen, but marriage between
vampire and human brings unusual side effects both physically, and
I thought maybe I was the only one who didn't enjoy this movie, but was pleasantly surprised to find such low rating here.
The problem with the movie was that it had practically no story to it.
I also think the story would have been much more interesting if Bella had married Jacob instead of Edward. Did I also sense that Robert Patterson is running out of steam ? The both actors didn't have enough maturity to carry out the love scenes. Their marriage looked so fake.
One thing I liked was the new home Bella and Cullen settled into. It's a nice mixture of modern and wild. I wish I had a home like that.
This is by far the worst of the series. If Part 2 continues this way, it'll be a dud for sure.
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