The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1
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8 out of 8 people found the following review useful:

No. Just...No.

1/10
Author: Rectangular_businessman from Peru
20 March 2014

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Just when everyone thought the "Twilight" saga couldn't get any worse, this drivel introduces the "imprinting" thing between Jacob and the newborn baby Renesmee (what a stupid name, by the way):I mean, "Twilight" was dumb and ridiculous before, but the blatant romanticization of pedophilia from that scene makes one wonder what the hell is wrong with human race when a story including such kind of stuff is able to become a a worldwide phenomenon.

While "New Moon" should have been enough warning for me to stay away from the awful franchise,I decided to give Bill Condon the benefit of the doubt (Come on, Gods and Monsters was good and Dreamgirls was a decent musical) but not even the best filmmaker would be able to save the dreadful mess the Twilight books are.

Anyway, imprinting(*shudder*) aside this movie was unspeakably boring, being filled with lots and lots of padding, without nothing relevant happening in most scenes. There wasn't any good reason of why the last part of the idiotic Twilight saga should have been split in two parts, considering that the first part was mostly irrelevant filler.

Other than that, "Breaking Dawn: Part 1" has all of the flaws of its predecessors such as wooden acting, a cheesy script, embarrassing stereotypes, corny scenes, sparkly metrosexual vampires and shirtless teen werewolves. The only redeeming factor was the soundtrack, which in my opinion is way too good to be included in a movie like this.

I'm done with the Twilight franchise. By this point, criticizing its stupidity and awfulness would be redundant, way too obvious. Even kid's cartoon's mocked it and I think it would be better to let the sparkly vampire fad buried in oblivion, the same fate that waits for the "Fifty Shades of Grey" film adaptation.

0/10 (And I would rate it with a negative score if a could)

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8 out of 8 people found the following review useful:

Not a movie but a soap, movie makers to be penalized with no revenue

2/10
Author: nagendra_ravindra from Hong Kong
14 January 2012

I watched the first one after some insistence by my girl friend. I have to admit, the first one was a fairly decent movie, which translates to a 4/5 rating on IMDb.

After that it has all been about making sequels or as many movies as possible ...

Most movie goers to the cinemas to watch movies, not a soap that comes out with a new episode every few months.

I got conned into seeing until the third part of this epic nonsense, simply because I wanted to see how the story ends.

Such intentions from movie makers need to be punished by ensuring they don't get any ticket sales or any revenue from such movies.

It becomes very clear after the first one or two parts that the movie makers simply intend to never conclude the movie and wish to milk as many of us movie fans who will shell out money because we want to know how the story concludes ...

Okay fine, if you made a good first movie, you can make the extra money from a second part .. But half a dozen sequels of complete garbage is a bit too much.... Movie goers, we need to wisen up to these gimmicks ...

I would love to give negative ratings to such movies, but the IMDb scoring system will ignore very low scores and hence I am giving this to 2, which is close to where it is rated now, but still far enough so that it will drag the overall rating further down.

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9 out of 10 people found the following review useful:

I even bothered to write a review due to how torturing it is

1/10
Author: zeroforz from Hong Kong
1 January 2012

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I have to say like at the very first movie I was quite a twilight fan. I read all books as I watched the super cheesy trailer (now I realized when I looked back.), and I am too young to resist the so-called 'heroic' action by Robert Pattinson in the first movie. Sorry for that, but I think it could clarify that I was totally not a twilight hater, at least initially.

Kept on watching the following movies, my mind already went blank when I am watching New Moon and Eclipse, though I already found them making no sense, but at least they have a climax that can get my adrenaline level a little bit higher and though I am not a big fan of Jacob's obligatory muscle-showing scenes, I do find the glittering pale vampire's face is kind of my cup of tea. You know people are looking for different thing when they are watching the movies, and for me watching the sequels are just looking at my own brand of eye candy and that's all.

But Breaking Dawn is like the worse thing I've watched in ages. I claimed to my friend that Beastly is the worst movie I have ever watched at least in a decade, now this Part 1 has kicked that down pretty far away. Why spend so much money in making this movie? And why I have to watch those big dogs who claimed themselves as wolves running into forest every time they are unhappy with petty things. The animation seriously hurt my eyes.

Don't know why they are kissing all the time and I felt it's just like the couple's private show or something; Can't understand how can a movie maintain totally no tension throughout; Won't comprehend why everything can be so wrong in a single movie... When you know that the female star can't act at all, what is the reason of giving her a 2 or 3 minutes or a century-long scene without a line? What I can tell from her face is ... nothing. She looked at the mirror, can tell she is trying very hard in changing her facial expression yet without any success. I paid for the movie and I played with my phone instead. Even my eye candy can't help that much.

And when she started to turn into the state of being deprived by their vampire baby (sigh.), she had no make-up and tried hard to act that she is in pain (and I felt like I am in a deeper misery by watching her acting skills), it became hard to keep staring at the screen as she is too unattractive. Apologies that I didn't really watch the so-called climax that she is giving birth to her baby which had more resemblances with a butchering scene, I realized this movie is going to end and I totally have no clue that what I have watched in almost two hours. Apart from the comparatively beautiful honeymoon house and the wedding dress, or maybe also the pretty pale faces of the vampire family, what else could I say with this movie? Seriously, I think the book is not very good either but, this movie proved that it could be worse when it was put on the widescreen. Why bother yourself to spend such a long period of time to watch a pointless movie? I am kind of perfectionist so I am pretty sure that I will have to finish the last movie; but I am quite glad that it is the last one, which could at last put an end to this people-torturing series.

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9 out of 10 people found the following review useful:

Twilight series dims

1/10
Author: arunpachat from Bangalore, India
11 December 2011

Probably the worst movie I have ever seen. It's not because I'm a Twilight hater. This is just awful. The first hour and 10 minutes was god awfully brutal to sit through. Some scenes were as disgusting as it can get on screen. This slow-moving film has long periods of inaction and generates no suspense and though sometimes unintentionally funny, when they make serious statements. Making it the worst film in the "Twilight Saga" films so far.

Waiting for the damn wedding to start while director Bill Condon labours the point that Bella is nervous.

Waiting for the reception to end while Condon labours the point that it's very awkward for everyone.

Waiting for the happy couple to finally get their act together and have sex while Condon labours the point that Edward (Robert Pattinson) is scared of hurting Bella (Kristen Stewart).

Waiting for a baby to be born while Condon labours the point that it is very perilous and Bella might die.

Why did this final story in the Twilight Saga needed to be split into two movies at all? Part 1 could have easily been compressed down to half an hour if all the mind-numbing padding had been taken out of it.

And it really is such a shame, because when the first 'Twilight' movie hit screens way back in 2008, director Catherine Hardwicke turned the script into a captivating supernatural love story, crackling with sexual tension and life, full of promise.

The second installment, 'New Moon', under the direction of Chris Weitz, was so self-indulgent and turgid that I really don't want to say any more about it.

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11 out of 14 people found the following review useful:

Wow sorry twilight fans but this movie was just terrible

4/10
Author: Vicky from India
1 December 2011

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I admit it, i am not the biggest twilight fan but previous parts were OK.They were watchable. Today, After only 20 minutes i wanted to leave.First half specifically was just terrible.Let me sum up how bad it was. Watch the first 10 minutes of the first half and then go for a walk and come back after 20 minutes, believe me you would feel like you haven't missed a thing.That was your wedding part. Now again watch 10 minutes and then again take a walk and come back after 20 minutes, again you wouldn't have missed anything.This was your honeymoon part.This is what happens in whole first half.

In the end i would like to say, this is just my opinion and if you for some reason like it, then fair enough.

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12 out of 16 people found the following review useful:

Sucks bigtime!

1/10
Author: asha-albert from India
4 December 2011

The most terrible movie ever. Bad acting. Bad looking actors. Bad story. Bad dialogue. Bad direction. BAD SEX SCENE! I literally fell asleep half way thru the movie...the one redeeming factor was that Big Cinemas has pretty good samosas. Oh...and the back of her wedding dress was pretty neat.

And I need to write at least 10 lines to abide by IMDb's guidelines...so here's more. Watch for the scene where the werewolves "talk" to each other. Truly cringe-worthy....makes you embarrassed on behalf of the actors. Did they really think that a scene like this would look good on screen?

And oh....the scene where Jacob takes off his shirt and runs? HILARIOUS. I guess the director thought that would be a good idea :) NOT. A. GOOD. IDEA. MADE. PEOPLE. LAUGH.

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7 out of 7 people found the following review useful:

The Inconvenience of Vampire Nookie

2/10
Author: bkrauser-81-311064 from United States
6 December 2013

For those not familiar with the rules of the Official Twilight drinking game they are as follows.

Take a shot/sip when... 1. Someone says the word vampire or wolf or any variation including "newborns". 2. Whenever someone sparkles. 3. When the father appears in police uniform. 4. Whenever someone is brooding. 5. Whenever an obnoxious hipster indie song is being played in the background. 6. Whenever someone doesn't have his shirt on. 7. Whenever someone gives an unrealistically generous gift, does a foolishly gallant act or otherwise bends the rules of common sense for Bella.

Drink the rest of the bottle when... 1. Someone unattractive or out of shape is on screen. 2. Something in a scene makes you feel anything other than sleepiness or the need to plant your face in your hands.

Thus I delved into the world of Breaking Dawn Part 1. In this film, Edward and Bella take the plunge so she can become a vampire like she's always wanted. Jacob pisses and moans, and Bella has unprotected sex while still human resulting in her mutant baby trying to eat its way out of her womb. You know, true love and all that good stuff.

My roommate, whose expertise on Twilight I value as much as one reasonably can, filled in some of the holes that went unexplained or glossed over in the flick. Why can't they just turn her into a vampire while pregnant? Because it would kill the baby. Why is the act of sex with a vampire while human potentially deadly? Because their skins as hard as diamonds and they're super strong. How can these vampires live for eons amassing enough money to afford a private island off the coast of Brazil without the IRS at least knowing about it? And for that matter why would vampires want a vacation home in sunny Rio anyway? Just shut up and watch the movie!

My roommate did bring up an interesting notion that was not explained in the movie nor, she believes, explained in the book. How can they even have sex? Vampires have no pulse so they have no blood actually coursing through their veins. It only stands to reason that Edward can't get his little Dracula to stand at attention. So Bella is waiting to be turned, just so she can have human carnal knowledge of a cold corpse with a flaccid iditarod. Perhaps if you're being turned into a bloodsucker while you're performing (its been known to happen in vampire movies) then you'd have a fully erect projectile for always and forever but that would be a very inconvenient case of rigamortis. You'd never be able to wear mesh shorts, birds would always want to perch on you and all your vampire friends would always call you Vlad the Impaler. But on the positive side you'd actually achieve every pubescent boy's deep seeded fantasy; you could use you're dingus as a weapon!

Of course its all fun and games until someone gets pregnant. That's why its important kids, to make and keep important commitments to your loved ones. In this case, commit to spending the rest of eternity with a manipulative Gothic horror monster before getting jiggy with it or else be forced to drink O- slurpees while your ribcage and spine breaks from the force of your bloodthirsty monster child. By the way, the baby's name is Renesmee a mix of Bella's mother's name and the punchline of a cruel practical joke. The newborn is also imprinted by Jacob which is a way for a werewolf to leave his marking that disappointingly doesn't involve rising his hind legs.

In the end, Breaking Dawn Part 1 is a vapid, stupid, glacierly paced movie with very little going for it other than the welcome sight of Bella withering away. So its a substantial improvement from the rest of the series. I actually look forward to the next and hopefully final chapter in the franchise. Maybe if I get liquored up before the premiere (or during), I would only remember the good parts, like the credits.

http://www.theyservepopcorninhell.blogspot.com

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7 out of 7 people found the following review useful:

why they didn't use condoms on honeymoon??????

2/10
Author: ch_kashee from Pakistan
23 June 2012

i didn't review movies,, my first review was on twilight eclipse,,,which was like this,, i like the first movie of this series, but for me this was a very horrible experience,, i saw the whole movie in just 70min, i did not want to spend any bucks to see this movie thats why i downloaded it, and the size was only 400 MB,, 1 thing i like in this movie was the honey moon place they chose, now the direction was very poor, the lamest scene was when wolves speak to each other, > i didn't understand 1 thing,, if they know they had this risk of monstrous child if she will get pregnant ,, why they did not use condoms???? > CGI was very poor, wolves look totally fake

it was a total waste of time

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7 out of 7 people found the following review useful:

Are You Kidding Me ? It's All About Sex !! Give me my money back!!

3/10
Author: miniahmed1 from Egypt
27 January 2012

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

First, i am not a twilight fan , i saw all the other parts and i didn't like them but i didn't hate them too! Last Monday , my friends wanted to watch it , i went with them to the cinema and we watched it! All I Can say : Oh My God! is this a movie??!. i wasted my money on sex and french kissing! Twilight this time is a big shame for all the audiences! The Whole Movie Was about the baby , they wanna have sex , etc! it's not even romantic! At least , they should've prepared it as a 3D movie! i really went out the cinema very angry and i wanted to have my money back! Don't Ever Waste your money on this movie! go watch another movie ! maybe some twilight fans might like it ! if u like twilight you're gonna rate it as 5/10 and if you're not you're gonna give it a zero! And i hope part 2 is better than this one!

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8 out of 9 people found the following review useful:

Movie which has been waited for 1 1/2 year

2/10
Author: sandeep reddy from Australia
9 December 2011

Cant Believe it, they took more than a year to make this movie.

If you are watching this episode without knowing the first three, this movie will sucks like anything. No start No End.

it all start with a girl who want to marry a guy for a long time but deep down she is bit afraid, and the guy who warns her what happens if she marries him and finally it happens then all of sudden the movie will jump to the wolf gang who wants to kill their baby, of course they didn't succeed because of jacob, Then what baby born and she become a vampire. whats the catch in it whats the theme. if you are new to the twilight series better waste your time in watching first three to understand whats happening in this movie.

To me its just like a one boring episode of a epic TV series.

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