Jennifer: [after Hugo discovers her draining a victim] It's not what it looks like.
Hugo: You drank the guy!
Jeff: What I'm saying is that as your manager I'm advising you to fire your manager.
Jeff: Hey, ya know, I know how you're feeling though. You're getting old. Hmm? I'm getting old. Rock and roll is getting old. Have you considered, uh... Japanese hip hop?
Joey: We have a six hour drive tomorrow, Jennifer.
Jennifer: Yeah, and I don't want to sleep in the hearse. The hearse smells like drummer.
Sam: I heard that!
Jennifer: It's not what it looks like.
Sam: You ate beef!
Jennifer: Everyone be cool.
Tyler: Okay, we've definitely smoked PCP.
Jennifer: I can explain.
Joey: You can explain? You can explain why you're chewing on a severed arm?
Jennifer: Oh, don't be such a drama queen.
Jennifer: Nobody likes a judge.
Joey: Yeah, nobody likes a vampire either.
Jennifer: Screw you, Joey!
Joey: Screw me? Screw me? You're out of the band, Jennifer!
Tyler: She's kind of the best thing about this band right now.
Tyler: I'm just saying maybe you should sleep on it.
Sam: Oh my God, you really ate beef.
Joey: How'd you know my name?
Bartender: Oh, I can read your mind.
Joey: Wow. What am I thinking right now?
Bartender: Well, you're thinking "this bartender is crazy!"
Joey: You're good.
Bartender: You're afraid of being a loser for the rest of your life. Too late for you. Too late for the band. I would say you're 30 pounds of junk food and a retail job away from killing yourself. Just a guess.
Hugo: She'll be here. I know women.
Joey: We're gonna miss sound check.
Sam: I hope she's okay.
Joey: She's okay. She's always okay. She just doesn't care. This is why I broke up with her.
Tyler: She dumped you.
Hugo: Yeah, for being an insensitive prick.
[Joey glares at him]
Hugo: Her words, not mine.