Parker: You want me to break into a secure storage facility with whatever I can scrounge up at the buffet table?
Nathan Ford: Pretty much. Yup.
Parker: [to David statue] Look little buddy, that's your new home!
Alec Hardison: Can you please not play with the little naked man? Please?
Parker: I'm done.
Parker: Which conversation do you want to listen to?
Alec Hardison: That's what stereo was made for.
[after Parker bypasses a complicated alarm system]
Alec Hardison: You did not just think about this on the way in from the van.
Parker: Some people do crosswords.
Jim Sterling: That's the funny thing about conmen, they don't bluff.
Eliot Spencer: Hey, Sterling! I've got a dental work with your name on it. What do you say me and you hook up so I can give it to you?
Nathan Ford: Are we still unclear? I'm a functioning alcoholic, you know? And the trick is not to get hung up on the alcoholic but celebrate the function part of the sentence.
Alec Hardison: Is Maggie a very good art inspector?
Nathan Ford: Yeah, she's the best.
Parker: No, no, no! We can't let your ex-wife anywhere near our little naked man!
Sterling's henchman 2: Shouldn't we call the police?
Jim Sterling: You're fired.
Sophie Devereaux: Michaelangelo's David. The most famous statue in the world. Sculpted between 1501 and 1504, commissioned by the city of Florence. Like all sculptors, Michaelangelo made small-scale models, or, well, what's commonly known as maquettes, first.
Nathan Ford: I... I know all this.
Alec Hardison: Ah, no, no, no. See, while you are well-versed in dead guy art, I myself am not. My entire criminal career is based on technology built after 1981. So I am riveted, quite so. Please, do go on.
Nathan Ford: I know that voice. That's the voice you use on a mark.
Sophie Devereaux: I can think of a dozen other times an opportunity like this lands in our laps. We take it!
Nathan Ford: You don't con us. You don't con your own team.
Sophie Devereaux: You're just getting cold feet because your ex-wife could blow it for us!
Nathan Ford: Oh, Maggie... Maggie wouldn't.
Sophie Devereaux: Maggie, who works for the man who let your son die? She doesn't have a problem with that!
Nathan Ford: She doesn't know! She doesn't know that IYS and Blackpoole denied Sam's treatment.
Sophie Devereaux: How can she not know?
Nathan Ford: She doesn't know because I never told her. She pities me. Didn't you see that?
Sophie Devereaux: You're lying to her, Nate. You're not who she thinks you are.
Nathan Ford: She thinks I'm a drunk. Maybe even a criminal.
Sophie Devereaux: You're still an honest man, Nate. It's the rest of the world that's gone crooked.