Parker: [to David statue] Look little buddy, that's your new home!
Alec Hardison: Can you please not play with the little naked man? Please?
Parker: I'm done.
Parker: Which conversation do you want to listen to?
Alec Hardison: That's what stereo was made for.
Alec Hardison: Is Maggie a very good art inspector?
Nathan Ford: Yeah, she's the best.
Parker: No, no, no! We can't let your ex-wife anywhere near our little naked man!
Sophie Devereaux: You honestly think that we can fool Maggie with a fake?
Nathan Ford: No. She's, uh, too smart, too experienced. When we worked together, there was nobody better.
Sophie Devereaux: A simple "no" without the cheerleading would've done.
Parker: You want me to break into a secure storage facility with whatever I can scrounge up at the buffet table?
Nathan Ford: Pretty much. Yup.
[after Parker bypasses a complicated alarm system]
Alec Hardison: You did not just think about this on the way in from the van.
Parker: Some people do crosswords.
Jim Sterling: That's the funny thing about conmen, they don't bluff.
Eliot Spencer: Hey, Sterling! I've got a dental work with your name on it. What do you say me and you hook up so I can give it to you?
Nathan Ford: Are we still unclear? I'm a functioning alcoholic, you know? And the trick is not to get hung up on the alcoholic but celebrate the function part of the sentence.