Mr. Church reunites the Expendables for what should be an easy paycheck, but when one of their men is murdered on the job, their quest for revenge puts them deep in enemy territory and up against an unexpected threat.
Barney augments his team with new blood for a personal battle: to take down Conrad Stonebanks, the Expendables co-founder and notorious arms trader who is hell bent on wiping out Barney and every single one of his associates.
Frank Martin puts the driving gloves on to deliver Valentina, the kidnapped daughter of a Ukranian government official, from Marseilles to Odessa on the Black Sea. En route, he has to contend with thugs who want to intercept Valentina's safe delivery and not let his personal feelings get in the way of his dangerous objective.
Ex-con Jensen Ames is forced by the warden of a notorious prison to compete in our post-industrial world's most popular sport: a car race in which inmates must brutalize and kill one another on the road to victory.
Mei, a young girl whose memory holds a priceless numerical code, finds herself pursued by the Triads, the Russian mob, and corrupt NYC cops. Coming to her aid is an ex-cage fighter whose life was destroyed by the gangsters on Mei's trail.
Barney Ross leads the "Expendables", a band of highly skilled mercenaries including knife enthusiast Lee Christmas, martial arts expert Yin Yang, heavy weapons specialist Hale Caesar, demolitionist Toll Road and loose-cannon sniper Gunner Jensen. When the group is commissioned by the mysterious Mr. Church to assassinate the merciless dictator of a small South American island, Barney and Lee head to the remote locale to scout out their opposition. Once there, they meet with local rebel Sandra and discover the true nature of the conflict engulfing the city. When they escape the island and Sandra stays behind, Ross must choose to either walk away and save his own life - or attempt a suicidal rescue mission that might just save his soul. Written by
The Massie Twins
Keep Your Hands to Yourself
Written by Dan Baird (as Daniel Baird)
Performed by The Georgia Satellites (as Georgia Satellites)
Courtesy of Elektra Entertainment Group
By Arrangement with Warner Music Group Film & TV Licensing See more »
So I guess with any film review - it's all about the answers to the important questions. So let's get them out of the way first shall we?
Q) Is the plot descent, with a substantial storyline including dramatic arcs, twists and/or turns?
A) Not particularly.
Q) Are there character arcs and meaningful character developments?
A) A little.
Q) Is there romance?
A) Next question, please.
Q) Is the overall film original?
A) Not at all.
Q) Is it a likely Oscar nomination contender?
A) Hell no!
Q) Is it still awesome?
A) HELL YES!!!!!
Critics should be banned from reviewing films such as these. Anyone with half a brain can tell exactly what kind of film this is and what they're in for purely by the film's trailer alone.
This is a film made for action movie fans and not just regular action movies - I mean REAL action films in the style of the classic 80's action movies where plot and substantial character developments and dialogue took a backseat to intense over-the-top violence, explosions, car chases, sex scenes and catchy, memorable one liners!
The 80's action hero (and villain) breed was a rare phenomenon which will likely die with those very actors who gave them life. No 90's or new millennium "action" movie star will ever come close to being anywhere near as genuinely tough and just plain bad-arse as their 80's predecessor's! Even now with the main 'Expendables' cast pushing 60 +, you know that they would snap Matt Damon's spine in 2 with one hand tied behind their backs!
The 'Expendables' cast consists of Sly Stallone as the fearless leader of the team, Jason (Basketball stabber) Statham as the trusty knife-throwing sidekick, Dolph Lundgren as the treacherous giant one, Jet-Li as the small one, Terry Chews as Wesley Snipes, Mickey Rourke as the tattoo/previous knife-throwing sidekick and Randy Couter as the "who the hell is this guy, oh he's a UFC fighter" guy.
I still can't believe the unbelievable shape these guys are in! They're giants (exception for Jet-li of course).
Still, despite it's 80's throw-back appeal - the film isn't all action. Believe it or not there are slow parts. Mostly unnecessary filler between the action scenes. However the third act of the film makes up for the lack of action and then some!
It's when this third act commences when the true action film we've been waiting to see kicks in and steps up several notches to become the manliest most testosterone-fueled film since the last 'Rambo'!
It's funny, it's loud, it's un-relentlessly violent, an action-packed no-brainer of a film! An 80's action movie fan's wet-dream!!!
Bring on the sequel/s and bring on Jean-Claude Van Damme so he can give Statham the butt-kicking he so desperately deserves!!!
144 of 223 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful to you?