Heidi, a radio DJ, is sent a box containing a record -- a "gift from the Lords." The sounds within the grooves trigger flashbacks of her town's violent past. Is Heidi going mad, or are the Lords back to take revenge on Salem, Massachusetts?
Sheri Moon Zombie,
On one last road trip before they're sent to serve in Vietnam, two brothers and their girlfriends get into an accident that calls their local sheriff to the scene. Thus begins a terrifying experience where the teens are taken to a secluded house of horrors, where a young, would-be killer is being nurtured.
A group of friends whose leisurely Mexican holiday takes a turn for the worse when they, along with a fellow tourist embark on a remote archaeological dig in the jungle, where something evil lives among the ruins.
A young girl buys an antique box at a yard sale, unaware that inside the collectible lives a malicious ancient spirit. The girl's father teams with his ex-wife to find a way to end the curse upon their child.
Jeffrey Dean Morgan,
When Kimberly has a violent premonition of a highway pileup she blocks the freeway, keeping a few others meant to die, safe...Or are they? The survivors mysteriously start dying and it's up to Kimberly to stop it before she's next.
Michael Myers is still at large and no less dangerous than ever. After a failed reunion to reach his baby sister at their old home, Laurie Strode is immediately taken to a hospital to be treated by the wounds that had been afflicted by her brother a few hours ago. However, Michael isn't too far off and will continue his murdering 'Halloween' rampage until he gets his sister all to himself. Written by
Slaughtering the Halloween Franchise in one easy step!!!
I haven't been moved to write a movie review for ages, but if I can save just one human being from defiling their poor, poor eyes with this terrible 'I Spit On Your Franchise' piece of garbage then I will be a happy and fulfilled man!
Rob Zombie, despite a passable effort with his remake of Halloween, has here produced an insulting, confused and self-indulgent mess of a movie that, quite frankly, I imagine will cause fans of the Halloween film series to detest both him and this awful piece of cinema.
Not only has he managed to reduce the character of the charming, sweet and vulnerable Laurie Strode (from the original films) into a whining, shouting, (gurning!!) self-obsessed little bitch with no saving graces whom I actually WANTED to see brutally murdered, but he has also somehow transformed the cinematic enigma that is Michael Myers into what looks like a psychotic homeless-person who would look more at home with a copy of the Big Issue in his hands than a carving knife!
Sam Loomis, the tortured and guilt-ridden soul portrayed so well by Donald Pleasance in the original films has here become a (badly played) fame & wealth obsessed a*hole, and I can only surmise that the completely unnecessary (and unwanted!!) appearance of Sheri Moon Zombie as Deborah Myers was engineered to yet again showcase the director's reasonably attractive wife (OK ROB - WE KNOW YOU MARRIED OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE!!) and to boost the family bank balance.
Among other reasons why you should (and would) hate this massive slap in the face of Halloween fans is (the only reason I rented the DVD): I thought it would at least be gory & imaginative death-wise - WRONG AGAIN!!! Most of the gory action happens off screen and I think there was one kinda inventive death involving deer antlers but I've seen that before (and I did doze off for a few minutes near the end so I may have missed one or two of the other deaths!!)
Finally there is the iconic image of Michael Myers himself.....Well, THINK AGAIN GUYS & GIRLS!!! He only has his mask on for a tiny fraction of the film and for the rest of it he is resplendent in a huge (Brian Blessed style!!) bushy beard that makes you think more Grizzly Adams than Michael Myers!!
I have to admit I'm being totally honest when I say that this film has absolutely NO redeeming features whatsoever, not a one!! And don't get me wrong, I'm not one of the anti-remake gang, I LOVE remakes and with the exception of maybe 2 (this one included of course) I actually prefer remakes....but not this time. In a nutshell, this movie should NEVER have been made (or made by somebody else) and as for Rob Zombie, well my respect for him has gone from 'Not a Helluva lot' to some fairly large minus figure!!
Save your time (& your money) and give this floater a wide berth!!!
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