Kung Fu Panda 2 (2011)
Po: [stares up a long passage] Ah. My old enemy... stairs!
Soothsayer: Your story may not have such a happy beginning, but that doesn't make you who you are. It is the rest of your story, who you *choose* to be. So, who are you, panda?
Po: [determined] I am Po. And I'm gonna need a hat.
Mantis: You know, guys, I never expected to die like this. I thought I'd meet a nice girl, settle down, and then she'd eat my head.
Shen: How did you find peace? I took away your parents! Everything! I scarred you for life!
Po: See, that's the thing, Shen. Scars heal.
Shen: No they don't. *Wounds* heal.
Po: Oh, yeah. What do scars do? They fade, I guess?
Shen: I don't *care* what scars do!
Po: You should, Shen. You gotta let go of that stuff from past, because it just doesn't matter! The only thing that matters is what you choose to be now.
Shen: You're right. Then I choose *this*!
[Shen attacks Po with his knives; they fight until Shen accidentally dislodges his destroyed cannon and is crushed by it]
Tigress: I hope this turns out better than your plan to cook rice in your stomach by eating it raw and then drinking boiling water...
Po: This is nothing like that plan.
Po: Because this one is gonna work.
Po: The peacock was there the last time I saw my parents! He knows what happened! Where I came from! Who I am.
Po: Look, I'm going. I have to know. The hardcore can't understand.
[Tigress lunges at Po]
Viper: Tigress, no!
[Tigress hugs Po; Crane's jaw drops]
Tigress: The hardcore DO understand. But I can't watch my friend be killed.
Tigress: [to the rest] We're going.
Crane: Uh, maybe you can't watch *me* be killed?
Tigress: Stop being a wimp.
Monkey: ...And, she's back.
Viper: Impressive, Dragon Warrior! What's your plan?
Po: Step one, free the Five!
Viper: What's step two?
Po: Honestly, I didn't think I was gonna make it this far.
Po: Uh, stop Shen before he gets to the harbor!
Shen: The only reason you are still alive is that I find your stupidity mildly amusing.
Po: Well thank you, but I find your evilness extremely annoying!
Shen: Who do you think you are, Panda?
Po: Who do you think I am, Peacock?
[both laugh for an extended time, each taking turns]
Po: Why are we laughing?
Soothsayer: [foretelling] If you continue on your current path, you will find yourself... at the bottom of the stairs.
[Shen sees he has reached the bottom of the stairs]
Soothsayer: I see... I see... I see, pain!
[she pulls out one of Shen's feathers]
Soothsayer: And anger!
[she takes a bite out of Shen's robe]
Shen: How dare you! This is the finest silk in the province!
Po: Shen! A panda stands between you and your...
[cut to Shen, who can barely hear Po say "destiny"]
[cut back to Po]
Po: Prepare yourself for a hot...
[cut again to Shen, who can still barely hear anything]
Po: They must be close. I can feel a Kung Fu chill riding up my spine.
Viper: Sorry, Po. It's just me.
Shen: Greetings, panda. We meet at...
Po: [interrupting] Hey, how ya doin'?
Shen: [flustered] Eh - hey.
Mantis: I didn't have any problems with my dad. Maybe it's 'cause Mom ate his head before I was born...
Shen: Call in the wolves. All of them! I want them ready to move. The year of the peacock begins now!
Wolf Boss: Right now? Cause it's the middle of the year... so you'd only get like a half of the year of the peacock.
[Shen glares at him, raising a dagger]
Wolf Boss: And this is the year, of course, of the peacock. Happy new year, sir.
Shen: Get the wolves ready. We're loading the ships now...
Shen: NOW! Now, now, now, now!
Monkey: At the first sign of trouble, I'll give you a signal. Ka-Ka! Kee-Kee!
Po: You mean like Crane does?
Crane: Excuse me? When have I ever make that noise?
Mr. Ping: So, how did it go? Did you save China?
Mr. Ping: Well, I knew you would! That's why I had these signs made! "My son saved China - you too can save! Buy one dumpling, get one free!"
Soothsayer: I see... I see... pain.
[plucks out some of Shen's feathers]
Soothsayer: And anger.
[chews on the hem of his robe]
Shen: How dare you! That is the finest silk in the province!
Soothsayer: Followed by denial.
Shen: This is not fortune-telling, you're just saying what's happening right...!
Soothsayer: The most important time, is now.
Po: I threw up around the third floor, so you might want to clean that up. You guys got an evil janitor around here or something?
Soothsayer: This was a thriving village. Young Shen was in line to rule Gongmen City. But he wanted more. I foretold that someone would stand in his way. A panda. But I never could have foretold what came next.
[Po has another flashback of Shen attacking the panda village]
Soothsayer: Stop fighting. Let it flow.
[after Po is apparently killed by Shen's cannon and the Five are captured]
Monkey: We cannot give up hope. Po would want us to remain strong. Hardcore! Right, Tigress?
[Tigress is silent in grief]
Monkey: [On seeing a poor person being mistreated by a wolf over cooking rice] Po, do something.
Po: How am I suppose to help her cook rice without getting caught?... Wait, I have a better idea!
Po: You! You're mine!
Wolf Boss: I'll tell you what's gonna be yours. My fist in your plush cuddly, super soft face!
[suddenly Monkey and Crane jump on the two wolf soldiers]
Wolf Boss: Uh-oh!
[he runs away]
Po: Get him!
Shen: [triumphantly] You were wrong, Soothsayer!
Shen: We sail to victory tonight. Your magic panda is clearly a fool!
Soothsayer: [angrily] Are you certain it is the panda that is a fool? You just destroyed your ancestral home, Shen!
Shen: A trivial sacrifice... when all of China is my reward.
[pokes the burning tip to a map of China, which bursts into a spreading flame]
Soothsayer: Then will you finally be satisfied? Will the subjugation of the whole world finally make you feel better?
Shen: [Sneers] It's a start. I was also thinking of converting the basement into a dungeon.
Soothsayer: [pause] The cup you choose to fill has no bottom. It is time to stop this madness.
Shen: And why on Earth would I do that?
Soothsayer: So your parents can rest in peace.
Shen: [bitterly] My parents... hated me. Do you understand? They - they wronged me. And... I will make it right.
Soothsayer: They loved you. They loved you so much that having to send you away killed them.
Shen: [pause] The dead exist in the past. And I must attend to the future.
[to his gorilla guard]
Shen: Set the Soothsayer free. She is of no use to me.
Soothsayer: [sadly] Goodbye, Shen. I wish you happiness.
Shen: Happiness... must be taken. And I will take mine.
Wolf Boss: Spread out! Search everywhere!
Wolf: What about over there?
Wolf Boss: Is "there" a part of "everywhere"?
Wolf: Uh, I guess.
Wolf Boss: [shouts] Then search there!
Po: Dad, there's something you should know. While I was gone, I found the village where I was born. I found out how I ended up in that radish basket.
Mr. Ping: You did?
Po: I know who I am.
Mr. Ping: [nervously] You do?
Po: ...I'm your son.
Mr. Ping: Oh...
Po: [picks him up and hugs him] I love you, Dad.
Mr. Ping: I love you too, son.
Po: And now, to free the Five!
[takes off his hat]
Po: Disc of Destruction!
[He throws his hat... which doesn't go far and lands on a roof right in front of him]
Shen: Okay... take aim!
Shen: How many times do I have to kill the same stinking panda?
Shen: So, one panda lives. That does not make you right.
Soothsayer: You're right. Being *right* makes me right.
Shen: Then I will kill him, and make you wrong!
[last lines, as a panda from far away senses something]
Panda Dad: My son is alive.
[the panda looks down on other pandas living in a valley]
Po: [Tigress catches him beating up the ship's mast] Uh, I'm... training.
Tigress: The mast is not a worthy opponent.
[flips through the air and lands beside Po with her hand extended toward him]
Tigress: I am ready.
Po: Okay. So serious...
Shen: Why don't you tell me my...
Shen: [annoyed] The future. I was going to say "future."
Soothsayer: A peacock... is defeated by a warrior of black and white. Nothing has changed.
Shen: [enraged, then laughs] That is impossible, and you know it.
Soothsayer: It is *not* impossible, and *he* knows it.
Wolf Boss: [enters] Lord Shen, I saw a panda!
Shen: A panda?
[jumps on the wolf]
Wolf Boss: A kung fu warrior! He fought like a demon! Big and furry, soft and squishy... kind of plush and cuddly.
[the Soothsayer chews on Shen's robe]
Shen: Will you stop that?
Shen: My father's throne. He used to let me play here beside him, promising me someday this throne would be mine.
[Shen has his father's throne pitched out the window, and a heavy, ornate cannon put in its place]
Shen: A little to the left.
Gorilla Guard #1: But it's so heavy, Master.
Shen: Thirty years I've waited for this moment. Everything must be exactly as I envisioned it. And I envisioned it... a little to the left.
[the gorillas grunt and move the cannon]
Shen: Perfect. With the weapon by my si... uh, a little bit more.
[the gorillas groan and move it again]
Shen: With the weapon by my side, none can stand in my way!
Mr. Ping: Oh, Po, your story may not have such a happy beginning, but look how it turned out. You got me, you got kung fu, and you got noodles!
Wolf Boss: [to Po as they are surrounded by wolf soldiers] Guess nobody told you, you mess with the wolf, you get the fangs!
Wolf Boss: [he hits Po in the stomach] I've hit you twice. What are you gonna do now?
Po: [he looks undefeated at Wolf Boss but then suddenly shouts] We surrender!
[Shen enters the courtyard of his parents' palace]
Shen: Good afternoon, gentlemen... now that we've got the pleasantries out of the way, please leave my house.
Master Storming Ox: *Your* house?
Shen: Yes, didn't you see the peacock on the front door?
Master Thundering Rhino: What do you want, Shen?
Shen: What is rightfully mine: Gongmen City!
Master Thundering Rhino: Gongmen is under the stewardship of the Council of Masters, and we will protect it. Even from you.
Shen: [laughs] I'm so glad you feel that way! Otherwise I'd have dragged... that all the way here for nothing.
[He motions to his wolf soldiers dragging a heavy crate into the courtyard]
Master Storming Ox: What's in the box, Shen?
Shen: You want to see? It's a gift. It's your parting gift... in that it will part you. Part of you here, part of you there, and part of you way over there, staining the wall!
Shifu: This could be the end of Kung Fu.
Po: But I just got Kung Fu!
Shifu: And now, you must *save* it!
Wolf Boss: [Po gets distracted by his Shen's symbol on Wolf Boss's right shoulder plate and gets hit by Wolf Boss's hammer, knocking him into the bunny villagers] Chew on that, tubby!
Tigress: Don't worry Mr. Ping. He'll be back before you can say "noodles".
Mr. Ping: [stands there worried, while the the five and Po go to save China] "noodles"
Po: Nothing's unstoppable except for me when I'm stopping you from telling me something's unstoppable.
Po: Kung-fu staring contest! GO!
[stares at the viewer for 16 seconds]
Po: You guys look amazing, by the way...
Mantis: [spotting the Wolf Boss] Isn't that the guy who hammered you in the face?
Po: I hate that guy.
Mr. Ping: Thank you, thank you for coming to Dragon Warrior Noodles and Tofu!
Wolf Boss: [as they're fighting] Is that all you got? 'Cause it feels like I'm fighting a big old fluffy cloud!
Po: Well, this cloud is about bring the thunder!
[as they enter the courtyard of the palace, Po stumbles in a trench in the stones, at the end of which Master Rhino's hammer is planted. Po and the Furious Five stop and stare in horror, knowing they are seeing the place where Master Rhino died]
Wolf Boss: [chuckles and pats the haft of the hammer] Keep moving.
[as Po, the Furious Five and the Masters fight their way through Shen's wolves]
Shen: Why aren't we firing?
Wolf Boss: They're taking out our gunners, sir! They're getting close!
Shen: Fire, fire at them!
Wolf Boss: But, sir, we'll kill our own!
Shen: [screaming] I said fire at them! FIRE!
Wolf Boss: [drops his torch] ... No.
[Shen kills the Wolf Boss with his daggers, then jumps onto the cannon and lights the fuse himself]
[Master Rhino deflects all of Shen's throwing knives and jabs Shen with his hammer, sending him skidding back and breaking all his daggers]
Master Thundering Rhino: That is a warning. You are no match for our kung fu.
Shen: I agree... but this is.
[He jumps back onto the crate as it falls open, revealing a cannon aimed at Rhino]
[rushing off to save the Musicians' Village]
Tigress: No snack stops this time.
Po: Ha-ha-ha! "Snack stops"!
[scoffs, then follows her]
Po: Wait, are you serious?
Po: I found out that my dad... isn't really my dad.
Tigress: Your dad, the goose?
Tigress: [deadpan] That must have been quite a shock.
Master Storming Ox: Like I said, you are not getting me out of this cell!
[Sees that he and Croc are out of the cell]
Master Storming Ox: Oh.
Po: Yes! Ha ha, woo-hoo! All right, let's go!
Master Croc: [the Masters ignore Po and walk to another cell] I get the top bunk.