The Blonde with Bare Breasts (2010) User Reviews

Quirky, somewhat loosely realized atmospheric french movie; not easily classified.

[drmichaelrjames · 6/10 · 14 January 2011]

(I clicked the spoiler button but this will probably not ruin the movie & might help.) I have just watched this movie on TV and it is an interesting change from the usual fare. By no means a great movie nevertheless it has specialist interest and a particular feel—though perhaps falling short of what the director was aiming for. As it happens I also just read (or re-read) Mort Rosenblum's Secret Life of the Seine, his description of the river, its history and the commercial bargees that used to dominate it. (Rosenblum was editor of IHT and lives aboard a boat moored in central Paris.) It is kind of a heist movie (of Manet's painting La Blonde aux Sens Nu, now in the Musee d'Orsay), family drama, romance and bargee's tough life in the modern world. The cinematography is great though it often resembles something out of the 70s (which is probably fair verisimilitude for the life of bargees today) when their way of life began to fade away. The older (Julien, twenty-something) and younger (Louis, 14 y) brothers live and work aboard their steel barge that is mostly used to transport sand, gravel or maybe wheat. Their brute of a father lies dying in hospital refusing to sign over the boat to the elder son.

It is a standard 38 metre Freycinet steel barge (a peniche) named Styx. Because barging is barely viable these days many of these peniches end up as steel scrap or some are converted into luxury private floating homes or hotels. And this movie, perhaps incidentally, shows you why. The opening scene and the only part set in Paris other than a few minutes at the very end, shows the City of Light from an angle most people never see, but no less enchanting. Being almost penniless since their father got sick and being unable to do commercial jobs without his signature, the older brother hatches a plot to steal the painting; almost casually Louis strolls into the museum and walks out with it (not as far fetched I suppose given how many famous paintings have been taken this way) but is observed by the girl guard Rosalie (Vahina Giocante, who happens to look like the girl in the painting, bien sur) who chases him back to the boat where older brother kidnaps her. They make their getaway—on the barge at 6 km per hour up the Seine! You can guess where it goes from there.

For those of us besotted with the canals of France their wanderings east of Paris on the Marne river and canals is totally authentic, and beautiful, again in a way most people will not have seen. They stop at an old vine-covered house on the river which itself was subject of a painting by Manet (it might be intended to be the Ile d'Amore a legendary bargees hideaway); the old crones who live there have copies of Manet's paintings and Rosalie cleverly swaps the fake for the real La Blonde, to protect it. As in any heist movie lots of things go wrong, Julien gets almost beaten to death by thugs, Rosalie saves Louis from other thugs etc but it is all more or less resolved—though again perhaps not entirely convincingly. Including, I believe, the issue of inheritance of the boat when the father dies (hint: French law does not allow parents to disinherit their offspring but revealed is a reason why the father only beat up the older brother) but with a twist. Reviewers do not give it a high rating but I PVR'd it and will watch it again as I suspect it will repay on repeat.

A rude but affectionate story by the banks of la Seine

[angeliki_spatki · 6/10 · 5 August 2015]

Though I had another choice for watching a movie, I stayed on that because I found interesting the theme: two brothers on a barge they must pay the debts, crossing la Seine river. They have made a robbery by stealing from Orsay museum the renown Manet painting "Topless girl", in order to pay the debts of the barge which was always, the proper home for them and their family - two by now, as their mother died and their father is ill in the hospital. Now are three, as they have with them the guard of the museum - the beautiful and fearless also sexy, Rosalie who kidnapped her in their boat, as she was running after them. All three are trying to find a buyer for the renown, valuable painting - all these, among beautiful images of the still river waters, full of pending trees, as their barge is crossing them. The two brothers are impressed by the girl and she finally involves herself in an affair with the elder. A nice cinematography showing another life - that of people working by and crossing the river with on that purpose river-ships. Also a mention to the wild life by the sides of the river as it has been painted by Renoir and other impressionists. The Polish mafia following them to get the painting, but also the lonely life of desperate young people who had no affection in their lives. The scenery of both banks of la Seine is fantastic - also the description of the life on board of the barge. The acting of the three protagonists is very persuasive, real and human as well. Their emotions as wild they appear, always turn sweet - first mentioning the younger little brother, as he is a tender, affectionate, fearless companion - caring as well, brother.

An enjoyable, quirky film typical of many independent French film producers.

[KobusAdAstra · 7/10 · 29 September 2019]

This review contains slight spoilers.

Julien Rivera (Nicolas Duvauchelle) and his younger brother Louis (Steve Le Roi) live on their father's barge on France's waterways. They make a living by transporting gravel to building sites. Their mother passed away when Louis was two; their father is terminally ill in hospital. The boys insist that their father confirms that they will inherit the barge, as it is their only home and source of income. Unfortunately the old man stubbornly refuses. The boys' money is running out and they desperately need to find another way to make a living.

Julien hears that somebody is willing to pay a lot of money for the painting of a woman with bare breasts by Manet, exhibited in one of Paris's art museums. He convinces Louis, small of stature, to visit the museum, pretending he is from a wealthy art school. All the lad has to do is to make sure the security guard does not see him, cut the oil painting from its frame, put it in his folder and make sure he gets the hell out of there. Easier said than done. Just as the boy runs out of the art hall, the girl working as security guard notices that the Manet is missing, sees the boy running and gives chase. The girl, Rosalie Durieux (Vahina Giocante), follows him right into the barge where the panicking Louis locks her and the painting she has grabbed out of his hands, in a room in the barge. Julien decides they will have to get rid of her, but how?

The two lads gradually get to know Rosalie, and there is suggestions that both boys are falling for the charming lass. This sure would complicate things. In a newspaper they read that she is the prime suspect in the theft of the Manet. This obviously puts her in a predicament. She asks if she can join the Rivera brothers in their venture, but they are rather reluctant. They are still toying with the idea to get rid of her. She just knows too much about them.

The film kicks off with great speed, but loses momentum halfway through. Fortunately it picks up towards the end of the film. The movie occasionally gets a tad too sentimental to my taste. There are also a minor plot-hole or two, but they do not distract much from the flow of the film. The film's strong points far overshadow its weaknesses: the cinematography is excellent - particularly the river scenes - and so too the soundtrack. Acting by the three protagonists is accomplished. It is particularly the character development of the two brothers that impresses. This is an enjoyable and quirky film full of surprises and worth my good score of 7/10.

Not very plausible, but not un-entertaining either

[lazarillo · 25 October 2012]

This French movie kind of abandons plausibility from the start as a young teenage boy walks into the Museum d'Orsay and swipes a Manet painting by cutting it out of its frame. He's spotted by a female security guard (Vahina Giocante), but instead of yelling for all the other guards to swarm the thief, she instead follows him on foot by herself and winds up kidnapped by the boy and his older brother who master-minded this incredibly low-tech heist in order to try to keep the family barge. She ends up locked in said barge and sailing down the Seine river with her fraternal captors.

If you can get past this highly implausible beginning, the movie becomes a little more interesting as it transforms into a relationship movie between the female hostage and the two brothers. There is some very nice scenery of the Seine and of Paris. Also, the Manet painting is not the only "Blonde with Bare Breasts" here (or a bare ass or bare. . .um. . .) as Giocante turns in one of the typically sex roles she has been doing since she first appeared as a teenager in "Marie, Bay D'Ange" in the late 90's. Giocante is not a top either star in France or outside it (her most international film was a small part in the bizarro Vincent Castel Western "Blueberry"), but she's perfectly adequate here, as are the two actors who play the brothers.

I don't know if people who don't tend to like French movies in general would care much for this, but I thought it was OK.