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The Angriest Man in Brooklyn (2014) Poster

Quotes

Henry Altmann: [narration] When Henry Altmann fell from the bridge time had slowed. And it occurred to Henry that life didn't have to be a burden, that life is short and fragile and unique. And each hour, each minute, each second could have something to offer. Something beautiful and astounding. The fact that this only occurred to him seconds before he would hit the water and die, made him very very angry.

Henry Altmann: Anger is the only thing they left me. Anger is my refuge, it's my shield. Anger is my birthright!

[from trailer]

Bette Altmann: Henry, what's going on?

Henry Altmann: We have to have sex, immediately! I don't have a lot of time...

[from trailer]

Bette Altmann: I wish you were dead!

Henry Altmann: Well, it's your lucky day!

Henry Altmann: [at Sharon] You told me I was gonna die in ninety minutes, because your cat jumped out a window?

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[from trailer]

Sharon Gill: The important thing is, we find your brother and get him admitted to a hospital immediately. Make sure he remains calm and does nothing to raise his blood pressure.

Aaron Altmann: Like?

Sharon Gill: Anger.

Aaron Altmann: And you've met my brother?

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[from trailer]

Aaron Altmann: [to Henry] Reconciliation, in ninety minutes? Are you trying to kill yourself?

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[Henry enters a tech shop]

Henry Altmann: I need a camcorder! And I need one quick!

[Ruben gets up slowly]

Ruben: W... w... w... w... what type are you interested?

Henry Altmann: Oh, it doesn't matter! Just one of those!

[points at a shelf]

Henry Altmann: That one, right there!

Ruben: The P... P... P... P... Panasonic, or the F... F... F... F... Fujitsu?

Henry Altmann: [points again] No, THAT one!

Ruben: Oh, the Samsung?

Henry Altmann: Yeah, the Samsung! I'll take it!

Ruben: W... w... w... w... warranty?

Henry Altmann: No, definitely not.

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Henry Altmann: [holds a Samsung camcorder] How do I get it to work?

Ruben: F... F... F... F... first, you have to charge the b... b... b...

Henry Altmann: Batteries? How long will that take?

Ruben: F... F... F... F... Four hours.

Henry Altmann: Does the world hate me?... Do you have one that's ready to go right now?

Ruben: [looks at the shelf] The F... F... F... F... Fujitsu . or the F... F... F... F... Fuji...

Henry Altmann: Which one do you recommend, the F... F... F... F... Fujitsu or the F... F... F... F... Fuji?

Ruben: F... F... F... F... Fuck you!

[beat]

Henry Altmann: Bravo!

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Bette Altmann: Sex isn't some magic switch you pull just because you're feeling a momentary twinge of guilt.

Henry Altmann: Guilt! What guilt?

Bette Altmann: About being horrible.

Henry Altmann: Who said I was horrible?

Bette Altmann: Oh, I thought that part was obvious.

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Bette Altmann: You always were a little bit of a jerk, but you were an amusing jerk. But since Peter, you're just a jerk.

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Henry Altmann: [after the policeman drives off] You're not gonna follow him, are you?

Sharon Gill: Oh, fuck no!

Henry Altmann: [laughs heavily] Yes, you go girl.

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[repeated line]

Henry Altmann: What the hell? I said, what the hell?

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Sharon Gill: Dead prick!

Henry Altmann: Doctor cunt!

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Bette Altmann: [with rage] Fuck you!

Henry Altmann: [in affirmation] Yeah.

Bette Altmann: Oh, you still want that husband-wife moment?

Henry Altmann: Maybe.

Bette Altmann: Do you even remember the last time we had sex?

Henry Altmann: Yeah, umm...

Bette Altmann: Well I don't, because I have sex all the time just not with you.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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