Mr. Wickham: Do not touch your nose.
Amanda Price: I've got an itch.
Mr. Wickham: Ladies are strangers to the itch.
Mrs. Bennet: Are you not happy that Jane is wed to Mr. Collins?
Mr. Bennet: Happy? That my kindest, prettiest daughter has embarked upon an adulthood of suffication to such a preening Caliban? Happy, Madam - that she should live in subjugation to such an enormity? I would rather sleep in a drain than consent to be happy!
Amanda Price: I try not to judge people I've never met.
Mr. Darcy: You are a philosopher, Miss Price. I would I could be like you.
Amanda Price: Certainly you would benefit an occupation of some kind. You have no function, Mr. Darcy. No purpose.
Mr. Darcy: Of course not! What a disgusting idea. That is a raison d'entre of society. We must be seen to be unoccupied.
Mr. Bennet: What news of Jane?
Kitty Bennet: No news of Jane. Mama frets about the inappropriateness of her hat and whether or not...
Mr. Bennet: It is too much excitement for me to bear.
Georgiana: This lady who's coming to stay... Are you going to marry her?
Mr. Darcy: That's an absolutely outrageous question, Georgiana. And I really should chastise you for it.
Georgiana: You wouldn't dare.
Mr. Darcy: You're right, I wouldn't.
Mr. Wickham: You have chosen precisely the man I wish for you to choose. Swellerando, master of Pemberley. Brava!
Amanda Price: Mr. Collins has had the unusual good fortune to shoot a peacock.
Mr. Darcy: That IS unusual. One peacock... is probably sufficient.
Mr. Darcy: Amanda. It means 'She who must be loved'.
Amanda Price: You must not. You must not...
Mr. Darcy: Wherefore must I not? Who is to judge us? I have laboured so long in the service of propriety.
Amanda Price: Elizabeth. I am not Elizabeth. The entire world will hate me!
Mr. Darcy: Were that true, Amanda, I would fight the world! You are the one I love.
Amanda Price: [after Mr. Darcy emerges from the water] I am having a bit of a strange post-modern moment here.
Mr. Darcy: Is that agreeable?
Amanda Price: Oh yes. Yes.
Caroline Bingley: Charles told me your secret. It is my secret too. I shall get my paws on Darcy and I shall marry him because it is correct, and necessary and expected by everyone including God. But the physical society of men is something I have never sought. I shall endure it with Darcy because endurance is a speciality of our sex. But the poetry of Sappho is the only music that shall ever touch my heart, though I have yet to play upon the um... instrument myself.
Amanda Price: [Thinking, after Caroline leaves] Goodness. Jane Austen would be fairly suprised to find she'd written that!
Amanda Price: [Thinking, referring to Caroline] You think you're the girl for him! Step off, Caroline. You conniving, smirking...
Amanda Price: Bumface!
[Clattering on dining table]
Amanda Price: Did I say that out loud?
Amanda Price: If you could somehow engineer it, that Darcy and I get married, then what happens to Frosty Knickers?
Mr. Wickham: I presume by that disparaging epithet you refer to the sublime Miss Bingley?
Amanda Price: She gets scooped up by you, you and your galloping, bloody horse.
Mr. Wickham: Caroline is rather rich. Maybe she IS the love of my life.
Amanda Price: You are repulsive!
Mr. Wickham: Yes, that's the tone.
Mr. Darcy: I find both incarnations of your character equally disagreeable. And yet I love you Amanda Price... with all my heart.
Mr. Wickham: A war with France is traditional. A war with Paris... unthinkable
Mr. Bingley: Damn you! Damn you and damn everyone who won't put a light in his window and stay up all night damning you!
Amanda Price: [to Darcy] You're supposed to be so bloody incandescent with integrity and you misjudge everybody! You misjudged me!
Amanda Price: Mr. Collins says that Lady Catherine's buttresses are the talk of the county.
Mr. Darcy: Buttresses?
Amanda Price: Being a woman, I know so little about architecture, of course, but I think they form...
Mr. Darcy: Yes, I know what buttresses are!
Amanda Price: [Thinking] First set, Miss Price. New balls, please.